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Culture: Music: Style
Cheaper Rockstar Lifestyle   (+9, -3)  [vote for, against]
Live life like a Rockstar, only cheaper

I like rock music. I like Punk. Punk rock in fact. I wouldn't mind being in a band, but I'm completely tone deaf, I can't sing, and a left handed gibbon with no eyes could play an instrument better than me. But I would still like to live the lifestyle, trashing hotel rooms, throwing televisions out of windows, putting sportscars into swimming pools, smashing up guitars on a stage in front of loads of people, and punching reporters in the face. However, I can't afford to re-decorate rooms, to buy televisions, expensive cars or guitars, and I can't get on stage.

I propose a company that manufactures the shells of televisions, the plastic casing and glass screen, but none of the expensive inner workings, just a weight of some sort. This way they could be sold on the cheap, maybe for about £15, to anyone who wants to live like a rockstar. They could then be taken to special hotel rooms that have been decorated as cheaply as possible, in which you're allowed to destroy everything for a very cheap price (£150 per night?), and thrown out of the window, onto specific safe areas to avoid casualty.

Similarly, a sportscar could be made that is simply the bodywork on a set of wheels, sold for between £200 and £1000 depending on the car, and the swimming pool you could use could belong to a local rockstar. When he finds the car, he'll just think he got drunk and/or stoned the previous night and put it there himself.

As for guitars, again, just cheap plastic and weights. This guitar could be taken to a special nightclub, in which similar-minded self-styled rockstars will join you, loud music will be played, a stage will be supplied on which to smash your "guitar", with a microphone available for you to yell "Thank you Wisconsin! I'll be here all week!" into. There will be much crowd surfing, swearing, and general rockstarring around.

When you leave the club, find a media photographer, and punch them. It won't be a special photographer hired by the company wearing protection, it'll just be an actual photographer. Hell, they deserve it. And if you get a lawsuit, claim it was Liam Gallagher, not you. He doesn't need all that money. He's a real rockstar.
-- quaero curvus, Apr 14 2005

This has been pondered before. http://www.lyricsfr...m/c/cake/26670.html
[Worldgineer, Apr 14 2005]

Of course it would have to be a non-flammable nightclub where it would be possible to set your guitar on fire.

Also, this is stereotyping of rockstars. You might not want to anger them or risk their legally powered wrath.
-- hidden truths, Apr 14 2005

//but I'm completely tone deaf, I can't sing, and a left handed gibbon with no eyes could play an instrument better than me// Sounds to me like you're admirably qualified to join a punk rock band.
Maybe you could set fire to / smash an air guitar?
-- AbsintheWithoutLeave, Apr 14 2005

You make a good point, but even by punk rock standards, I'm bad. Although I do believe I'd be better than Ashlee Simpson, but then that's not hard. I realise she's not punk rock, but she's definitely bad.
-- quaero curvus, Apr 14 2005

Bad to the bone. (N.B. not actually that far).
-- hidden truths, Apr 14 2005

I thought the whole point of the rockstar lifetsyle was that it was expensive. This is a rockstar style lifestyle. It's false advertising. I could sue.
-- pooduck, Apr 14 2005

Tone-deaf and can't sing. Err, that's as punk as you can get. Practice, practice, practice.

Submission lacks a method to implant inflated sense of self-worth and hot and cold running women.
-- lowbot, Apr 14 2005

It seems more like you're evaluating how likely it is I could become a punk rock star, rather than evaluating my idea
-- quaero curvus, Apr 14 2005

You can't be very punk and feel economically responsible for your actions/damages at the same time, can you? Plus, it sounds like these situations would all have a set of rules to follow and it's not rock 'n roll if you're living by the rules...
-- luecke, Apr 14 2005

Obvious solution: smash up someone else's hotel room and drive someone else's car into a pool. Other people's stuff is free if you can run fast enough and if you aren't famous enough for them to recognize you.
-- Worldgineer, Apr 14 2005

I agree that smashing things, throwing things, having indiscriminate sex, and setting things on fire has nothing to do with fiscal responsibility. The idea of being a punk and rocking things thusly is that you don't give a flying fuck. If you give a fuck (flying or grounded), you're disqualified entirely. Lots of people smash things up without first becoming rockstars. If you want to, go do it.
-- disbomber, Apr 14 2005

How much did you pay for your bad Moto Guzzi ?
-- normzone, Mar 27 2016

//claim it was Liam Gallagher// The service company should make up a name for all their clients to use.
-- FlyingToaster, Mar 27 2016

[+] for trying to save innocent inanimate objects from destruction.
-- notexactly, Mar 30 2016

random, halfbakery