Home: Pet: Monkey
Chimp Boat   (+10, -4)  [vote for, against]
so easy, a monkey could do it.

We say “monkeys”, but these are properly called chimpanzees, trainable, perhaps already trained in some tasks.

This is my ship, and a fine vessel is she. A tall ship, she flies with the wind under full sail. Yes, I have an excellent human crew, and they handle many important tasks. For example, the monkeys won’t be good at reading a chart, nor cooking. But they can climb, fit into small spaces, and each is stronger than a man.

We’ve sailed from port to port, waiting for a period of time for a monkey who longs for the sea. If he chooses to stay, he shall be welcomed as a member of the crew. Currently, we’ve brought on no boarders, but we’re not here to capture a crew. It will be easier after two or three monkeys arrive, I think, since other passing monkeys will be eager to join the group. Once loaded with monkeys and monkey provisions, we will set our course for ports unknown. I’m optimistic about this plan, and I’ve had nothing but admiration for the patience of the crew thus far.

The monkeys will select their own outfits, to become true seaworthy crewmen. We’ll train them in swash-buckling derring-do.

I’ll shout “Ahoy There” as we pass other ships, “I am the captain of the sailing monkeys!”
-- Amos Kito, Feb 06 2008

Damnit, these need to be *ninja pirate* monkeys. then you will get my bun.
-- Custardguts, Feb 06 2008

First primate, reporting for duty.
-- 2 fries shy of a happy meal, Feb 06 2008

<sings> chimp boats are a'coming <sings>
-- po, Feb 06 2008

Excerpt from Captain's log book: "Day 17 - Picked up new crew member in Costa Rica, our first volunteer monkey, claimed his name was "Bradypus". 2 weeks out of port and he still hasn't come down out of the rigging. First mate believes Brad's actually a sloth and not a chimp after all. Will consult zoologist next port of call".
-- Canuck, Feb 06 2008

[sings along with po]

You could try macaques - the ones we saw in Thailand know the tides, which is about half what you need to be a sailor.
-- DrCurry, Feb 06 2008

"...while the Louisiana moon floats on high,
and they wait for the day they can cry..."

//ninja pirate//
[Custardguts], it will take longer to amass a crew, if the Captain is waiting for specialitsts. Unless, of course, ninja pirates blend into their surroundings. Then he can assume he’s got a large crew, and set sail already.

[DrCurry], I'll mention macaques to the Cap'n. By now, he's probably open to suggestions.
-- Amos Kito, Feb 07 2008

sp: swash-buckling derring-poo
-- ConsulFlaminicus, Feb 07 2008

//direct hit with a monkey turd//

Naturally, but I find that Banjeau cancels out Crappa-Ferro. Don't you?
-- Amos Kito, Feb 07 2008

The U.S. Navy's already crawling with deck apes. Why don't you ask them about their secret.

I trust you'll get a babbon or a bonobo to serve as the boatswain.
-- ye_river_xiv, Feb 08 2008

random, halfbakery