He sat up in bed and unboxed his beauty,
A powered-by-battery, vulcanized bootie.
Stroking each velvety soft latex limb
From its reservoir tip to its rotary rim,
He admired its fine figure, hardly obscene,
Lubricated and painted a lush evergreen.
Stretching and pulling, his fingers in a blur,
He quickly erected the pointy penile fir.
A switch twixt two balls, he turned on with a grin,
Making it tingle and jingle, shimmer and spin.
Under each tiny branch, faux-covered in snow,
Hid a led, blue blinking or with steady red glow.
Twinkling and turning like a lighthouse in fog,
It made him quite merry, his rubbered Yule log.
Then Santa said, “Ms. Claus, wake up and see,
My uncommonly comely condom Christmas tree!”
-- FarmerJohn, Nov 17 2004

Draw a picture.
-- skinflaps, Nov 17 2004


Sorry, 145 words will have to do.
-- FarmerJohn, Nov 17 2004


Oh my...But what about the elves?
-- blissmiss, Nov 17 2004


They'll have to do it them elves.
-- FarmerJohn, Nov 17 2004


Ahhhh, we're off to a great start for the holidays.
-- Machiavelli, Nov 17 2004


Christmas wrapping for your package? Seems pricy for a one-time-use item. Please tell me it's a one-time-use item.
-- Worldgineer, Nov 17 2004


Once only, one for the road, on the night before Christmas.
-- FarmerJohn, Nov 17 2004


Wha, no mistletoe?
-- 2 fries shy of a happy meal, Nov 18 2004


Reminds me of a joke I heard in kindergarten; "Know why Santa has such big balls? You would too if you only came once a year". Sorry, blame it on my older brother.
-- blissmiss, Nov 18 2004


Just a couple of chipmunks.
-- FarmerJohn, Nov 18 2004


tripple? three shots of Ripple...

anyway, I'm all for romantic adventure, but I think this tree thing would be very painful.
-- dentworth, Nov 18 2004


Great nog. I'm wicked buzzed.
-- Machiavelli, Nov 18 2004


A Trippel Sec (sic) (Hic!) tipple!
-- gnomethang, Nov 18 2004


Make mine a triple salko; no ice.
-- angel, Nov 18 2004



random, halfbakery