Public: Pedestrian Crossing
Crosswalk Pirates   (+13, -11)  [vote for, against]
Help granny cross the street...then slash her throat and steal her wallet

Pirates in electric golf carts modified to resemble a pirate ship help people cross the street. That's all. Sorry.
-- AfroAssault, Jul 22 2002

The Crimson Permanent Assurance http://bau2.uibk.ac...rimson/crimson.html
A band of insurance cut-throats sailing on the wide Accountant Sea. [DrBob, Jul 25 2002, last modified Oct 21 2004]

Nicotine Eye Patch the_20Nicotine_20Eye_20Patch
Earliest "pirate" reference in the 'bakery? [AfroAssault, Apr 19 2005]

National Talk Like a Pirate Day http://www.talklikeapirate.com
AKA How to have the best birthday ever. [disbomber, Apr 19 2005]

The Jolly Gorogers http://www.jollygarogers.com/
An Austin, Texas band that plays in pirate garb [normzone, Apr 19 2005]

Arr... I cut ye neck if ya don't come off that purse, ya landlubber!
-- Mr Burns, Jul 22 2002


Crossing guards are quite Baked in Britain and the US, helping people across the road, especially near schools. I fail to see the advantage of equipping them with golf carts (just how wide are streets in your area?).
-- DrCurry, Jul 22 2002


really blissmiss? some of my ancestors as well
-- technobadger, Jul 22 2002


Gotta have a flying mermaid on the front of that cart
-- thumbwax, Jul 23 2002


I'm sorely disappointed, young man.
-- phoenix, Jul 23 2002


A life on the cross walk,
A-home on the rolling street!
Where the scater'd walkers talk,
And the winds their revels bleat.
Like an eagle caged I pine
On this dull, unchanging cart.
Oh give me the flashing sign,
The spray and the tempest's fart.

Refrain:
A life on the cross walk,
A-home on the rolling street!
Where the scater'd walkers talk
And the winds their gasses seep,
|: The winds,..... the winds...
The winds their gasses...seep. :|

2. Once more on the hull I stand,
Of my own swift, gliding cart.
Set sail, farewell to land,
The gal's wallet tears apart.
We shoot thro' the yellow line,
Cut the pigeon bird - said tweet.
Cut the pigeon bird with twine,
We'll find far out on the street.
Refrain:

3. The purse is no longer in view,
The crowds have begun to frown.
But with a stout golf cart and crew,
We'll say : Let the cash rain down!
And the song of our heart shall know,
While the cell and walkman's talk:
A life by the heaving wino,
A-home on the cross walk!
Refrain:

-- thumbwax, Jul 23 2002


'Twas enough to make a grown man weep.
-- FarmerJohn, Jul 23 2002


Croissants for location and helping the elderly but fishbones for murder and poorly disguised golf carts.

<aside> I was watching a TV programme about pickpockets a little while ago, and they (the pickpockets) said that the best place to practice their nefarious trade was in the London Underground next to the warning sign about pickpockets. Apparently everyone who reads it automatically checks that their wallet is safe, thus telling the pickpockets exactly which pocket to pick. Doh! </aside>

[48 hours later and feeling rather less smug] I just had my bag nicked on Liverpool Street Station. Double doh!
-- DrBob, Jul 24 2002


I really really reallly wanted to croissant this but my croissant was intercepted by rogue pirates shouting the letter R very loudly. I don't get it. So I grabbed a fishbone off of one of their sea-stanky tunics and put it on this idea. How about pirates that take over golf carts? That would be awesome.
-- polartomato, Jul 25 2002


Now that's a good idea! A sort of executive arm of the Crimson Permanent Assurance Company.
-- DrBob, Jul 25 2002


Up until about 2 minutes ago, I never noticed the whole "Aye, narr" voting on this. I'm afraid I'll actually have to vote, now.
-- AfroAssault, Mar 18 2005


I can see them all living on a traffic island.
-- benfrost, Mar 18 2005


//I was watching a TV programme about pickpockets a little while ago, and they (the pickpockets) said that the best place to practice their nefarious trade was in the London Underground next to the warning sign about pickpockets. Apparently everyone who reads it automatically checks that their wallet is safe, thus telling the pickpockets exactly which pocket to pick. Doh! </aside>

I remember hearing a while back that the London subway (or whatever) changed the lights in their bathrooms to UV-powered or somesuch so that junkies couldn't see their veins in there, and therefore couldn't push off--so the junkies started taking highlighters with them to the subway, and marking their vein lines with highlighter which glowed once they got under the UV light.

Misplaced ingenuity, I guess.
-- disbomber, Apr 18 2005


Surely this would lead to a lot of wrongful persecution of pirates everywhere. Whenever a person would get mugged or stabbed, the police would round up all the local pirates and charge the first one without an alibi.
-- hidden truths, Apr 18 2005


"Did you steal that ship?"

The crosswalk has officially been "1984ized" by an unchecked government, and it's time to take a drink.
-- disbomber, Apr 19 2005


Another landmark in my quest for the earliest pirate idea.
-- wagster, Apr 19 2005


[wagster] - see link for the earliest one I know of. Not necessarily a "pirate" idea, but it has the word in the summary.

Otherwise, I may be partially responsible because of my website (Piratous Fiend, used to have a lot of pirate references but has taken the low road into sheer, unadulterated stupid. Started it in 98, and it's had [little] influence on a few people here).

On a related note, I discovered in 2001 that yelling "YARRRR!" is a highly effective way to get annoying girls to stop whining.
-- AfroAssault, Apr 19 2005


My birthday is on Talk Like a Pirate Day. How fucking cool is that? Link included.

//On a related note, I discovered in 2001 that yelling "YARRRR!" is a highly effective way to get annoying girls to stop whining.//

Yar, they say a hook in th' eye works wonders as well!
-- disbomber, Apr 19 2005



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