Fashion: Pattern
Cubicamo   (+14, -1)  [vote for, against]
No seeum, no workum

If having a job where accomplishing nothing bothers you, then you should set out from the beginning to accomplish nothing. Be there, but not there. How can you honestly claim to have been at work, but asked to do nothing?

Introducing Cubicamo(tm).

A smart suit of cubicle upholstery, nattily tailored and lined to prevent itchiness, would make you less of a target for more stupid assignments from middle management. Colour choice for the fabric is of course determined by one's work environment. Buttons for the outfit can be had in chrome, black, cadet blue or putty.

Where too much attention is still attracted, smart headgear can also be fashioned to further reduce your Boss Radar Cross-section.

To further increase your ability to blend in, the suit is available as a three-piece, with the vest styled to match your empty office chair (no vinyls, please), and shoes are available in a limited range of sizes in four different shades of carpet: Navy, Burgundy, Forest Green and Puke Tan.

Also available (pricing upon request) is Nonworker Invisibility Training: Resisting the Lunchcart, on VHS from Amslack Int'l.
-- elhigh, Jun 23 2005

You never know what you'll see. http://images.googl...en%26lr%3D%26sa%3DN
[2 fries shy of a happy meal, Jun 25 2005]

Underneath this suit you can wear a dirty white shirt with incoherent whiteboard scribbles, graphs and org charts on it.
-- hippo, Jun 24 2005

Make the transition to Bossblind complete with a remote office confusion noise generator. When the boss blunders within scent of you despite your disattractants, throw your voice to make it appear distant officemates have begun a dysfunctional quarrel. Your nemesis will scurry off in search of prey, and you may go back to your meditations.
-- reensure, Jun 24 2005

That is one of the dumber commercials.

I like the idea of a remote distraction generator. That shouldn't be too hard to make these days. How about putting the boss's cellphone on speed-dial?
-- baconbrain, Jun 25 2005

I like it. Maybe you could create the junior one, for kids in school. Everytime your teacher comes near, you press a button which makes a sound like your principal's voice just outside the door. Hey, it could happen!
-- CloakedBeauty, Jun 27 2005

[2fries], that's the funniest ad I've seen in some time. I'd never seen that one before, thx!
-- elhigh, Aug 02 2005

random, halfbakery