Culture: Amusement Park
Dark Park   (+10, -1)  [vote for, against]
Less looking around, more screaming!

I can't help but feel that I am constantly regaining my sense of normalcy when I am on a rollercoaster, looking around frantically to keep up with the world around me. I am cheating, and so are you, fellow visionary.

This is an idea for an amusement park with one slight modification. Everything takes place in the absolute dark. Now, some may call this baked after attending the glorious Space Mountian at Disney's World. That is the right idea. But, this idea extends a little further, it does.

No lights, no lighters, no cellphones! Everyone gets one glowstick and a flare and a first aid kit. Good luck!

The park is totally enclosed, and has really fun rides. There are some carnival style shooting ranges and stuff, but mostly rides. There are many places to eat around the park, and the most touted foodstuff is the legendary Dark Burger. What is it? Feels like a fish stuffed in a sock. Tastes like a dream!

The haunted house rides are some of the best in the world! But, some people find them redundant with the rest of the park. See, screaming around in a rollercoaster in the absolute dark is qualified as a terrifing experience by most. Not by all.

At any rate, watch for falling bodily excrement as you stroll around the park lazily lapping away with your glow in the dark ice cream cone! Yep, that's right, glow in the dark cones. And, that's not all. This park sells all sorts of cool glow in the dark stuff. It helps people adjust.

The bathrooms are well lit. Legal issues, bah.

The actual structure shapes would be kept top secret. People would have fun trying to figure out the exact shapes from riding the rides. They would figure it out too, and their efforts would be praised.

At the end of the day, there is an enormous fireworks display at the heart of the park. It's the perfect climax for this type of park!

Dark Park. Accept no substitutes.
-- daseva, Mar 21 2007

Exploratorium: Tactile Dome http://www.explorat...ile_dome/index.html
A completey dark crawlspace. If you're not sure whether you're claustrophobic, you'll find out. [jutta, Mar 22 2007]

This idea is down. I mean, this shit is down. Like a blunt with yayo. [+]
-- monk, Mar 22 2007

Um excuse me, but would you please get your tentacle off of my ass.
-- Galbinus_Caeli, Mar 22 2007

[bigsleep] Western world? Link please.
-- jaksplat, Mar 22 2007

great. the rides are terrific but... how do you find them?
-- lilsis, Mar 22 2007

Just follow the rattling and screaming!

On a well-banked roller coaster, closing one's eyes is actually a good way to make it *less* scary.

I like this already, but my preferred version of this park would lay off the glowy things. It would just be completely, utterly dark. Many of the employees would be blind.
-- jutta, Mar 22 2007

//And I would also cite like to making personal possessions goals that or of a peer lifestyle and induced basically nothing to do with reality c.f. foreign labour exploiting to make shipping crap, it from one side of world the to another only to throw it in the bin.// So, you'd rather not have the lighting in the bathrooms, [Bigs]?
-- MaxwellBuchanan, Mar 22 2007

Insightful annos by all, appreciation is due. I did levy some saftey requirements in hopes of gaining your praises, though now I feel I've overdone it ([jutta]).

If an amusement park is your only opportunity to attach an archetypal setting to capitalism, then so be it. Ride The Bush!
-- daseva, Mar 22 2007

//Insightful annos by all// I resent the implication that I have been insightful.
-- MaxwellBuchanan, Mar 22 2007

Given the inability to see one's fellow park-goes, combined with the proliferation of comestibles from the "deep-fried-on-a-stick" food group, you may want to issue safety goggles, too.
-- nick_n_uit, Mar 23 2007

That's not a problem. You'll be too busy being totally freaked out!
-- daseva, Mar 23 2007

That we have a thriving export business?
-- MaxwellBuchanan, Mar 23 2007

Just make sure you stay far away from the shooting gallery.
-- croissantz, Mar 24 2007

In New York there is a hotel. The bathroom in the lobby of said hotel, is completely dark. The walls are all mirrors. Accept for one wall. the wall is a stead stream of water, undetectable to the eye.

There is one give-away as to which wall is for peeing... a clever way to make peeing interesting again.
-- ColonelMuffins, Mar 25 2007

I don't get where all the screaming would come from. Can't help to recall a movie called "SILENCE of the lambs". I think DarkPark is an inverted amusement park, since all the thrills you usually get in a classic amusement park are caused by the fact that you feel you can die by a train crash/killed by a zombie/freefall etc. and don't die. On the other hand, in this case, you don't feel any peril while walking childishly with your happy-glowing icecream (apart from hearing innocent screams in the distance) but get killed by an anonymous maniac. The reason I'm giving it a [+] is my sensibility for anarchy and those things which anarchy implies. But I see many other buns apart from mine. Maybe we could, I don't know... maybe we could plan something, hang around for a cup of tea, or just find people to help us load couches.
-- sweet, Mar 25 2007

All park attendants would remain well monitored while attending, there would be no heightened risk of maniac attacks, one can hope. Of course, people won't be reminded of this once inside the gates.
-- daseva, Mar 25 2007

Why stop with conventional rides? Why not open manhole covers all over so that people fall into the sewage system and wander amongst the rats and spiders (and the occasional alligator). Call the place Mugger's Paradise.
-- JSand, Mar 25 2007

UV lights in the bathrooms, please, combined with high-pitch electrical whine.
-- calum, Mar 26 2007

random, halfbakery