Science: Health: Immortality
Death Credits   (+19, -2)  [vote for, against]

A tube in every oriface, the life support system in your hospital ward beeps slowly and sporadically - this may very well be your last few minutes before you slip away. Your family surrounds and the nurse wheels in the plasma screen to show your closing credits. Sad romantic music plays in black and white and the names of all the key players in your life - primarily those with speaking parts, listed with their roles, scroll there before you.

This bitter sweet final reminiscence is so timed that you can let go when the titles end, and can be later copied for friends and family to keep when they ever wish to know more about you and those you associated with.

Organised initially during the will process, all those important to you in your past can be listed in brief point form and updated on your deathbed to pay your final respects to this world.
-- benfrost, Feb 02 2005

Fatal Auto Collision Song Fatal_20Auto_20Collision_20Song
A less languid closing. [bristolz, Feb 02 2005]

Final Cut http://www.rottento...final_cut/about.php
Re: out-takes of your life. Would have made a better halfbaked idea than it did a movie. [Worldgineer, Feb 02 2005]

Snopes http://www.snopes.c...iscues/bitedust.asp
Snopes says that "Another One Bites The Dust" is requested at funerals. [hippo, Nov 17 2009]

//Sad romantic music plays in black and white//

Can I opt instead for Queen's 'Another One Bites The Dust?'
-- Detly, Feb 02 2005


Can it include crazy out-takes to encourage people to stay and watch?
-- zen_tom, Feb 02 2005


"Don't die, yet - The computers crashed!"
-- Ling, Feb 02 2005


//Can it include crazy out-takes to encourage people to stay and watch?//

I would hate to be told I'd left the deathbed to soon to see the really funny part...

[+]
-- photojunkie, Feb 02 2005


So as the credits are rolling up, a small rectangle appears to one side and we see the deceased holding a lightsaber arguing animatedly with Yoda.
"We must hurry, clones are storming the facility."
"Hurry we must, hmmm? Much patience you must learn. Yes"
"..." <deceased cracks up> "<bleep>-king <bleep>"
<off-camera laughter as the crew join in the hilarity>
etc...
-- zen_tom, Feb 02 2005


Yes, definitely outtakes.

I can just see all the different versions of my efforts to complete a stunt that looked so smooth in the main body of the video.

Although, Jackie Chan, who's two years older than myself, has announced he will let some people do some of his stunts now. I may have to follow suit soon....any volunteers?
-- normzone, Feb 02 2005


//...a stunt that looked so smooth in the main body of the video//

Or maybe the one that put you in hospital...
-- Detly, Feb 03 2005


Can't wait to see family's reactions during certain credits:
Drug Dealers #1-10
Stripper(s) at Bachelor(ette) Party
Prostitute in Alley
Dominatrix
Molester
Arresting Officers
Cellmate
Cellmate with Vaseline
Cellmate without Vaseline
-- AfroAssault, Feb 03 2005


Can't wait to see person's reaction during certain credits:

Parents
Biological Parents
-- Detly, Feb 03 2005


* That's it *
No, you stay. I know, but this is a tv reality program, and if you go so do the ratings. Bye.

<added> BTW. sp. orifice
-- reensure, Feb 03 2005


hahaa
-- benfrost, Feb 03 2005


Yes, I was thinking recently that, when you die, even the villans in your life are characters in your personal movie that could come out at the end and take a bow. [+]
-- Mustardface, Feb 05 2005


Mr. Ben Frost,

The day you stop amazing us, with either your gross humor, or your lack there of, will be the day the bakery goes butt side up.

This one isn't so bad. I tried to punch holes in it, and use the hospice nurse thing as a shield, but I gotta give it to ya, I have never heard of such an absolutely silly, but perhaps useful idea. +
-- blissmiss, Feb 05 2005


thankyou blissmiss, that's a very nice thing to say - you've made my day
-- benfrost, Feb 05 2005


Love it. [+] for the idea [ben] and a mental [+] to [zen_tom] for thinking of the bloopers reel.
-- Machiavelli, Feb 06 2005


The Earth would most certainly implode with all that hot air added to the already noxious gases caused by embellished, sung and unsung, hero's of past history. Lots of friends and family are already telling falsehoods about me and I am not yet dead.
-- outloud, Nov 17 2009



random, halfbakery