Train a monkey to collect dog poo in little plastic bags, and reward him with one banana for every piece of crap he retrieves.

Acquire a number of such monkeys, drive them around in a van that says “Monkey Dog Poo Team” on the side, and dispatch them where needed (dog park, soccer field, Paris, etc.)

Fees can be assed* on an hourly or per acre basis.

*or "assessed", your choice
-- AO, Dec 19 2003

Bathroom Monkey http://hillison.com...bathroommonkey.html
Saturday Night Live skit. [phoenix, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 05 2004]

Hairless Poo Monkey http://www.livejournal.com/users/r4ncid/
[phoenix, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 05 2004]

And who cleans up the monkey poo?
(Do you really call it "poo," [AO]? I have trouble believing that!)
-- k_sra, Dec 19 2003


Who is to police the police - wait, thats pigs.
-- Letsbuildafort, Dec 19 2003


monkeys like throwing stuff, don't they?
-- po, Dec 19 2003


LOL... Uh oh!
-- k_sra, Dec 19 2003


Monkeys LOVE to fling things ... Look at my good buddy po, for example
-- Letsbuildafort, Dec 19 2003


They might go ape-shit.
-- FarmerJohn, Dec 19 2003


The monkeys are also trained to dispose of their own waste properly and not to throw anything. And no, [k], I don’t usually call it “poo,” but I wouldn’t anticipate doing much business if I had “Simian Shit Service” painted on the side of the van.
-- AO, Dec 19 2003


...well, you never know! : )
-- k_sra, Dec 19 2003


... you might always have a team of Simian Poo Robots cleaning up after them ...
-- neelandan, Dec 20 2003


Bah... bloody slave helper monkeys thing again. Why does that keep cropping up here? I'm surprised more people haven't read "Rendezvous with Rama".
-- waugsqueke, Dec 20 2003


Benfrost gives it TWO THUMBS UP!! ; )
-- k_sra, Dec 20 2003


Dog poo .. for that +
-- skinflaps, Dec 20 2003


I would happily overfeed my dogs with hot indian curries daily just to get to see these monkeys at work more often. Hee Hee!
-- dobtabulous, Dec 22 2003


yup cool idea, or as an extra money makin service they could sell the dog poo for to people who wanna get their revenge buy smothering their worst enemys house with dog poo! woo!
-- nethinbutaverage, Feb 25 2004


"Fees can be assed on an hourly or per acre basis."

But...I thought the team was being paid to take care of things that were assed in the first place?

Couldn't resist.
-- Eugene, Feb 26 2004


Thanks, Eugene. Any typo that survives this long deserves to stay.
-- AO, Feb 26 2004



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