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Dogboards   (+9)  [vote for, against]
[fat long dogs need your help]

Many a mind has been agitated with the long standing issue of how to prevent the inevitable grounding of fat long dogs. I believe Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche (1844-1900) was permanently vexed with the issue and died just days after proposing dog stilts as a solution.

As readers will know, I'm just a humble free thinker, but I propose the dogboard solution to this age old issue. A small wooden platform, equipped in each corner with a caster is the primary plan. With a tape measure, accurately assess the distance between front legs and paunch and cut pieces of string of the same length. Attach the same strings to the dog's front legs and to the dogboard and you've got your elf a solution.

For longer dogs, build a longer platform.
-- jonthegeologist, May 19 2008

skateboarding is good exercise... http://www.greyhoun...ateboarding_dog.jpg
[xandram, May 19 2008]

I think this is the same dog in the link above http://www.youtube....watch?v=CQzUsTFqtW0
[jaksplat, May 19 2008]

Rolling Dog Ranch http://rollingdogra...s/images/timmy1.jpg
[Klaatu, May 19 2008]

Pet carrier http://www.uel.ac.u...kes/cat-carrier.jpg
Don't know if this would work for dogs [Klaatu, May 19 2008]

You could try feeding 'em less, but on balance I prefer this solution.
-- wagster, May 19 2008

"I believe Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche..."
I'm pretty sure that was Henrik Ibsen you're thinking of. Don't forget to articulate it for better cornering.
-- phoenix, May 19 2008

I thought he articulated it pretty well.
-- baconbrain, May 19 2008

Oh, [jonthegeologist] will bend over backwards to help a canine.
-- phoenix, May 19 2008

I could swear that I've seen someting similar to this in an old cartoon. A super long dachshund comes running around a corner and there is a roller skate straped to it's middle. Possibly Looney Tunes or Merrry Melodies.
-- jaksplat, May 19 2008

It's at times like this that I'm not sure whether I miss the 'Bakery or not
-- hazel, May 19 2008

My wife despairs of me ...
-- jonthegeologist, May 19 2008

Hi Hazel! Did you miss us?
-- wagster, May 19 2008

I thought this might be a new controversial and legally-grey torture technique used by the US government at Guantanaamo Bay involving stuffing peoples mouths with puppies so they can't breathe.
-- theleopard, May 20 2008

(sp.: "breathe")
-- hippo, May 20 2008

(I'm supposed to be a sub as well. Thanks [Hippo].)
-- theleopard, May 20 2008

sp: "help but spill the beans on Bin Laden's whereabouts"
-- wagster, May 20 2008

(That's OK - no idea is complete without at least one pedantic spelling or grammar correction.)
-- hippo, May 20 2008

Aha, I thought that this would be a must-have breed-cum-accessory for your top-snazz spats-sporting silk-scarved Prohibition gangster playboy: a shiny coated pooch to loll draft-excludingly along your town-car's running boards, the dog's pink tognue flapping placidly in the breeze as you hare around Harlem corners on two wheels, your tommy gun blazing.

Still, croissant, cos (inter alia) "fat long dogs" is fun to say.
-- calum, May 20 2008

An encasement for the dog might work to keep the sag from reaching the ground. The encasement could easily be made from of short section of a cow intestine to span from the nose to end of tail. If that doesn´t work, you could tighten up the encasement by twisting the ends and then, after grilling, satisfy hunger. That´s what is served in baseball stadiums to fans that drink too much beer.

el dueno
-- el dueno, May 22 2008

random, halfbakery