Food: Restaurant: Ordering
Duck   (+2, -5)  [vote for, against]
Pick your own baby duck.

Five star restaurants should have a pen where they keep the ducks (could be applied to other small food) and you pick your own before dinner. The process has been used for lobster for years with great success. Option of plucking your own. If nothing else the number of vegetarians should increase.
-- rbl, Feb 20 2002

OK, so perhaps open a vegetarian restaurant next door to this place? Thanks for making me laugh.
-- rbl, Feb 20 2002

The horror! Do you heare the carrots screaming when you eat them?
-- rbl, Feb 20 2002

Sadly, I think ducks take too long to pluck and cook for this to be practical (do you hang them like game birds and nice beef?). I'm not sure what's involved in butchering a tofu, though.
-- pottedstu, Feb 20 2002 the vegetable kingdom only the potatoes have eyes......
-- rbl, Feb 20 2002

pottedstu is right - most meat is not going to taste its best when just slaughtered. For best results, you are going to have to hang the duck for a while, which would require one hell of a slow starter -maybe taking a couple of days to eat. I'm not sure if I have enough small talk to fill the time.
-- mcscotland, Feb 20 2002

I saw the name of this idea and thought it was an imperative...
-- calum, Feb 20 2002

This would work if they prepared and served the duck the same way lobster is done. Boiled alive, dropped into the water head first, served tail-up, on a plate with some melted butter. Yum.
-- waugsqueke, Feb 20 2002

do I feed the ducks for this, oh dear I feel ill.
-- po, Feb 22 2002

Is there any meat on a baby duck? Really?

I always wanted to select my own shrimp and crawdads while they were still alive....oh, wait, I already do that. ;-)
-- runforrestrun, Feb 22 2002

crawdads? that sounds perfectly disgusting
-- po, Feb 22 2002

my dear, crawdads are spectacular....think little lobsters with a slightly different taste. I'd invite you down to cajun land for the big party...but alas it is now over for this year. you do have a standing invitation for my restaurant in N'orlens....
-- runforrestrun, Feb 23 2002

I used to participate in Crawdaddy races - well, not as a crayfish...
-- thumbwax, Feb 23 2002

So Rods, are you saying this is an ultimatim to vegitarians; come to our restaurant and eat our expensive vegitarian dishes, or we'll kill Daffy? I think someone ought to clone woolly mammoths Jurassic Park style, just so they can open a restaurant with a woolly mammoth pen so people can choose the mammoth they want slaughtered for their dinner. There could also be an Iron Chef special: battle woolly mammoth. An unfrozen and revived cave man could be the challenger.
-- JakePatterson, Feb 24 2002

A vegetarian version... select your own potato.
-- waugsqueke, Feb 25 2002

Jake - halfbaked once upon a time by PeterSealey's "Cro Mignon".
-- CoolerKing, Feb 25 2002

Every time I see this idea title, I dive under my desk, expecting a steel ball to come crashing through the window.
-- pottedstu, Feb 25 2002

I'm sure in China they already have this for every creature you can name.
-- phundug, May 21 2007

It would work for sushi.
-- marklar, May 21 2007

JP, I think he means that people would be so appald by this barbaric practice that they would become veggers as protest. I like the idea of picking your own vegtables. have a garden near the restrant where patrons could get their hands dirty.
-- the great unknown, May 21 2007

While you were waiting you could chuck little bits of bread into the pen.
-- mecotterill, Apr 29 2008

In a small town in Mexico, in a "restaurant" in the front room of a house, we ordered fried chicken. We heard a boy running off down the street, and soon heard him running back accompanied by squawking and flapping noises. He didn't ask us to approve the bird, but we were all giggling uncontrollably by then, so it's just as well.
-- baconbrain, Apr 29 2008

Yeah, that's common practice, I guess, in lands where refrigeration is not as common as it is here and there. Store it live.
-- normzone, Apr 30 2008

random, halfbakery