Sport: Billiards: Table
Duvet Snooker   (+12, -2)  [vote for, against]
Duvet that becomes a snooker table

Many people would like to be able to play a game of snooker at home, but lack the room needed to accommodate the large table. To solve this problem, and simultaneously bring an additional element of skill to the game, you will need one of my new Duvet Snooker Covers.

It's like a conventional cover, except that it has 4 snooker pockets that hang down at each corner, with another 2 equidistantly located on the long sides.

The surface of the duvet is of course printed to look like green felt, and marked out accordingly. The final components are the sets of padded telescopic rods, which must be inserted like tent poles along the sides of the duvet to form the cushions. Once in place the cover is stretched by the rods to become a more even, but not perfect surface.

Everything is now ready for the game to begin.
-- xenzag, May 27 2008

This is half-baked. No question.
-- theNakedApiarist, May 27 2008


This would be very good for practicing breaks. The balls would all pool into the centre, you would break with the cue ball (striking it quickly before it rolls away) and the pack would separate briefly before pooling back into the middle again. If you were lucky you might pot.

This would also be useful for explaining Einstein's view of gravity.
-- wagster, May 27 2008


Duvet snooker - sounds like a euphemism.
-- zen_tom, May 27 2008


I hate to make another "The Young Ones" reference, but if anyone knows the character of Mike, played by Christopher Ryan, I think he would definitely be into this. From the episode "Demolition", just after Mike chalks his poolstick/cue and then eats the chalk. MIKE: You know the French for duvet? I'm talking a hundred-percent cotton. Mmmm! I'd like to find your duckdown stuck to the soap."
-- plynthe, May 27 2008


// sounds like a euphemism//

And the bedroom is hushed, as [zen-tom] attempts to sink the pink...
-- Jinbish, May 27 2008


Cue the maid.
-- 2 fries shy of a happy meal, May 27 2008


what's a duvet?
-- r_kreher, May 28 2008


// And the bedroom is hushed, as [zen-tom] attempts to sink the pink...//
I seem to recall that Finbarr Saunders (and his Double Entendres) got there in Viz Magazine a few years ago - I understand that Mrs Saunders was eying up "A long, hard Pink" (Possibly belonging to Mr Gimlet)
Fyak, Fyak!
-- gnomethang, May 28 2008


//Duvet snooker//

It wasn't until the third reading of "A ClockWork Orange" that I finally understood all the slang. Little did I know a fit of literary perseverence a decade ago would pay of like this.

{munches on some eggy-weggys and lomticks of toast}
-- MikeD, May 29 2008


//Fnark!// I suggest starting by pocketing my red balls, before giving my end a really good polishing and finishing with a long screw off the exposed pink and into the brown. //Fnark!//
-- zen_tom, May 30 2008


ooh, a rebound off the cushion!
-- hippo, May 30 2008


It's not very often you see a player get out the swan neck...
-- Jinbish, May 30 2008


<Mitchell&Webb>"...and that's a bad miss"<M&W>
-- hippo, May 30 2008


...two options for the next shot: a stun-run-follow through with a little top spin, or a deep screw into the pack...
-- Jinbish, May 30 2008


You guys are gross. This was a good idea till ya'll got yer dirty hands on it!!! ;-)
-- blissmiss, May 30 2008


true, let's change it to mini-golf: much less opportunity for innuendo there.
-- FlyingToaster, May 30 2008


woof! hole in one sir?
-- DenholmRicshaw, May 30 2008


I think someone somewhere just got a birdie!
-- ye_river_xiv, May 31 2008


"...a wood, I think, for this hole..."
-- hippo, May 31 2008


Man1: So you proposed to your wife on this very hole did you?
Man2: Oh yes, it was right here on the eitheenth - the engagement ring was all prepared. She tee'd off, and managed to put a little spin so as to make it around the curve in the course, but landed in the sand-traps. <finbarr>I made a good hard drive on her inside, before finally giving it to her in the bunkers.</finbarr>
-- zen_tom, May 31 2008



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