Culture: Movie Theatre: Captions
E.Z. Watch Superhero Movie   (+1)  [vote for, against]
Shot of giant arm with wristwatch rises in front of the screen every 10 minutes to show you how much longer until movie is over.

Today's superhero movies can cause arm fatigue by one having to look at their watch constantly to see when this piece of crap will be over.

Not any longer.

"Super Hero Marvel vs D.C. All Star Team Final End Game Reboot Part 6" will feature a projected arm with a wristwatch that will rise up to the center of the screen every ten minutes to show you how much longer you'll need to endure this hack piece of Hollywood garbage.

Say goodbye to cramping and soreness arising from having to look at your watch constantly through the next hack, unoriginal 70 year old comic book turd reboot.
-- doctorremulac3, Apr 30 2019

Or you can walk out the FIRST time you check the time, demand your money back: "False advertising! Billed as a 'movie', it was discovered to be a form of recycling/garbage/dreck. I already pay taxes for garbage removal, I'm not paying for yours too"
-- Sgt Teacup, Apr 30 2019


I love movies and hoped that Hollywood might someday get back to risky artistic endevors, but I heard that this latest movie (which to be fair, I haven't seen, but have heard scathing reviews from trustworthy sources) made a billion dollars in one weekend so superhero movies are here to stay.

My hope is that somebody creative will come along and do something original with the genre that's worth watching. I know brilliant people in the past have navigated the Hollywood money game rules successfully.

Gene Roddenberry, one of my heroes, wrote screenplays for western TV shows, a genre that was formulaic to say the least. He had an idea for a TV show set in the future that obliquely addressed social issues in a non preachy or condescending manner with positive messages and a philosophy of overcoming hardship with grit, creativity and competence.

Of course he was smart enough to not say any of that to the knuckleheads in Hollywood who green lit TV shows like Gilligan's Island. He sold it as "Wagon Train To The Stars.".

Dumbed down for the little Hollywood minds to comprehend, I guarantee he brought in numbers to sell the idea. "Gun Smoke mades X millions per season, this will be the same thing but they'll be shooting laser guns at aliens instead of rifles at stage coach robbers."

Even then they let the show run only three seasons before cancelling it for some un-known god awful piece of junk, but it got enough of a run to start the longest running sci fi franchise in history.

If anybody knows what show replaced Star Trek I'd be curious to know what it was.
-- doctorremulac3, Apr 30 2019


//overcoming hardship with grit, creativity and competence.// and phasers. Don't forget the phasers.
-- MaxwellBuchanan, Apr 30 2019


Well phasers, goes without saying. The prime directive was to not interfere with other civilizations unless your phaser phinger got itchy. (That's how they'd spell it if it were a thing) Photon torpedos too.

Also Kirk's fearless willingness to mate with completely different species. Forget about diseases they might be carrying, has he done any research into the... uh... mechanisms involved? Green skin might not be the only differences between a gal from Earth and one from Gamma Hydra 7.

Which reminds me of a joke. Picture of a woman sitting in bed patting a man on the back as he sits on the edge of the bed obviously dismayed.

Woman: "Honey, it's OK, there's nothing wrong with having a small penis."

Man: "Yea, but I'd prefer it if you didn't have a penis at all."
-- doctorremulac3, Apr 30 2019


^ Ahhh, Bangkok.

I am more interested in the new Firefly series, strangely called "The Expanse". Hell of a typo.
-- not_morrison_rm, Apr 30 2019


The Expanse was brilliant - I'm yet to watch Firefly - I particularly liked the social dynamics between old-world Earthers, pragmatic Martians and the proletariat Belters who speak in a dialect all of their own (a kind of South-African mixed with Welsh by the sounds of it) - stir in some space-noir and you've got yourself a highly entertaining series.
-- zen_tom, May 01 2019


There must surely be better ways for you to find out how much of a movie is left:
1. The bottom of the screen has a progress bar;
2. The white coated assistant counts down each time they put the drops in your eyes;
3. Zeno's paradox airhorn blasts.
-- calum, May 02 2019



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