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Sport: Spectator
Electric Vuvuzela   (+6, -3)  [vote for, against]
For those with limited lung capacity.

Continuous trumpeting of a plastic vuvuzela for 90 minutes will leave most people short of breath, not to mention cut into time better spent drinking beer, shouting at the ref or other random acts of football specatorship. The electric vuvuzela has a small electric compressor and a silicone embouchure. Simply turn on the device and the 6V lantern battery will provide 90 full minutes of head-stuck-in-a- giant- beehive goodness!

This is also good for people who have COPD, emphysema, or asthma, as it will allow them to participate in the 'cheering'.
-- Cedar Park, Jul 03 2010

Pursed-lip breathing http://adam.about.c...ports/000070_10.htm
Why vuvuzelas are _good_ for you. [mouseposture, Jul 03 2010]

Logo of Emory University
[bungston, Aug 15 2011]

oooh, beaaaannnn.....
-- daseva, Jul 03 2010

//good for people who have COPD, emphysema, or asthma// To the contrary,people with restrictive lung disease find it _easier_ to exhale against resistance than normally*. Patients with really severe emphysema purse their lips when they exhale, almost like playing the vuvuzela, except without vibrating the lips <link>. Perhaps vuvuzelas could be a form of incentive spirometry. Imagine asking a vuvuzelist to shut up, and being told "Sorry, doctor's orders."

*This is counterintuitive, but it actually makes sense, in terms of pulmonary physiology.
-- mouseposture, Jul 03 2010

Are you sure than an electric vuvuzela is not made by putting a mic on a kazoo, and running the signal through a massive amp?
-- pocmloc, Jul 03 2010

I was pondering something similar to this. One could fit the vuvuzella with a compressed air tank, then pump it up like a super soaker or a pellet gun. The benefit here is that the higher pressure will allow a louder sound which is what the world needs now.
-- bungston, Aug 15 2011

My invention (sorry, it's purely derivative and not worth its own post): the electric vuvuzela alarm clock. When it shuts off, it's time to get up.
-- lurch, Aug 15 2011


I'll get me own coat thanks.
-- FlyingToaster, Aug 15 2011

Why would you need a coat ? It's damned hot in Hell, and you're going to be roasting there for all Eternity ... hopefully with two demons continuously blowing vuvuzelas into your ears.
-- 8th of 7, Aug 15 2011

For vendors, the ultimate would be a vuvuzela with a built-in co2 cartridge. That's where you get your return business, in single-use novelties.
-- Alterother, Aug 15 2011

... with a massive carbon footprint.

Why not just sit under a ladder and smash mirrors over a black cat ?
-- 8th of 7, Aug 15 2011

I have been pondering the logo of Emory University and Alterother's comment brings it into focus. Clearly one of those things on the logo is a vuvuzela. The other is a compressed gas vuvuzella running on propane, with a wire in the bell containing copper and magnesium salts to color the flame gold and blue.
-- bungston, Aug 15 2011

Annoy the shit out of people with less effort, I love it!
-- Brian O'Blivion, Aug 15 2011

[The Alterother] is Charter Alumni at Emory University. The propane-powered self-blowing disposable vuvuzela is a herald borrowed from his personal coat-of-arms.

He doesn't know where the other one came from.
-- Alterother, Aug 15 2011

random, halfbakery