Product: Cigarette
Fake cigarettes   (+1, -1)  [vote for, against]
Stop smoking today

This is just a way to stop people from going broke on buying cigarettes and dying of diseases. Just buy croissantz cigarettes with 9 mg of nicoting and 7 mg of tar. (That's what it will say on the box and commercial. There is no nicotine or tar at all. Insted, there is vitamins and artificial flavor so you can't tell the difference! Some hard-core smokers may smoke them for a while, but at least they won't get sick and diseased- it's healthy!) Get yours today!
-- croissantz, Aug 22 2004

breach of the Trade Descriptions Act
[po, Oct 04 2004]

Inhalator http://www.expressc...ette_inhalator.html
Odd looking nicotine replacement system. [stilgar, Sep 08 2006]

For numerous reasons, your idea wouldn't work.
-- cromagnon, Aug 22 2004

Like I said, foolproof. Name your 'numerous reasons' then.
-- croissantz, Aug 22 2004

Tar is a large component of the taste. Making artificial flavouring for food is difficult enough, I would imagine that finding a chemical that tastes of tar when burned without being as bad as tar itself would be almost impossible. A healthy version would surely be unobtainable.
-- stilgar, Aug 22 2004

Oh yes, and the lack of nicotine will cure their craving..

and you won't get sued for false advertising...
-- swimr, Aug 22 2004

sp. nicoting
-- 2 fries shy of a happy meal, Aug 22 2004

A 'hard-core' smoker would suspect something amiss half way through the first smoke and demand a refund.Surely.
-- cromagnon, Aug 22 2004

i kind of like the sp: "nicoting", sounds refreshing. "Marlboro Reds - Now With NicoTing!" certainly would solve that false advertising problem.
-- xclamp, Aug 22 2004

Wow, these cigarettes are loosing their flavour. I'd better switch to a harder brand.
-- dobtabulous, Aug 23 2004

Nicotine is the addictive thign.. why do you think it comes in patches/gum etc.? Plus it is supposed to increase intelligence, don't take that off those poor, poor smokers.
-- Cats Whiskers, Aug 23 2004

//it is supposed to increase intelligence//

Wrong. Nicotine attaches to the brain cells, and that's what makes it addictive. It dosen't make you smarter. It destroys the brain cells if you smoke for a long time.
-- croissantz, Aug 23 2004

I used to be a 4 stone apology! Now, with nicoting, I am two seperate gorillas!
-- harderthanjesus, Aug 23 2004

In what way does smoking croissantz brand cigarettes constitute stopping smoking?
-- calum, Aug 23 2004

its a chemical works on the brain, and youd be hella sued.
-- adaziz, Aug 23 2004

This won't un-addict people, but it WILL stop them from getting addicted in the first place, so it gets a bun.
-- FireElf, Jul 18 2006

If this could be made as described (I'd be hugely surprised) it could work. Some natural health stores sell herbal cigarettes for this exact purpose but I won't yell baked as they taste like a bonfire or arson in a herbalist's. Smoking does lead to nicotine addiction which is a major component of the compulsion to continue smoking but that isn't the whole story. The habit of smoking, using the hand for something when it would otherwise be idle and the oral sensation are also important parts. Nicorette make a device called an 'Inhalator', a plastic almost cigarette shaped thing that gives a small dose of nicotine mist when drawn upon like a cigarette. This is because they found that patch users missed the activity of smoking. I often find myself half way through a cigarette when I realise that I didn't want the nicotine but rather the experience.

If this works, please make faux joints next. I adore the taste of weed but am less and less keen on getting stoned as I age. I have smoked weed that has had most of the THC removed but without it the smoke tastes lame. Simulating the sweet taste of THC would probably be as hard as doing the same for Tar.
-- stilgar, Sep 08 2006

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