Business: Telephone: On Hold
Fighting Fantasy on Hold   (+15)  [vote for, against]
It was all so obvious really…

“Welcome to Mega-Evil Corp’s Customer Services helpline. Press 1 to listen to some inoffensive but subtly soul destroying muzak. Press 2 to speak to a real human being. Press 3 to pick up the shiny sword & shield. Press 4 to pick up the Colonial Marines’ M41A Pulse Rifle. Press 5 to pick up the picnic basket. Press 6 to leave a message.”
-- DrBob, Mar 16 2012

Zork http://www.newgroun.../portal/view/188334
Zork, but online in flash, rather than on the DOS command line [goff, Mar 20 2012]

[calum, Mar 20 2012]

"six hours later,defeats the Goblin King and in return a massive phone bill arrives"
-- skinflaps, Mar 16 2012

<presses '4', chalks own blood type on chest armor, prepares for orbital drop, and pulls the pin on a hi-ex bun>

-- Alterother, Mar 16 2012

Ah! We have a taker! Well done Alterother.

"4. You try and pick up the rifle but it seems cemented to the floor by some sticky goo. You sense movement in the dark shadows around you. Press 1. to run away in a blind panic. Press 2. to struggle with the obviously useless weapon. Press 3 for customer services."
-- DrBob, Mar 16 2012

I'm a Colonial Marine, right? I'll grab a flamethrower and take my chances with the Xeno Queen at customer service.

<Ripley> "Let me speak to your supervisor, you bitch!" </Ripley>
-- Alterother, Mar 16 2012

"You swear and shout as you pound uselessly on the customer service button, the electronic tones of the [3] button seem to have no effect and sound increasingly like a desperate morse code message. Suddenly a cold chill runs up your spine and you feel the presence of something large behind you. You turn to stare straight into the drooling, snarling maw of a huge alien monster! It has very bad breath and appalling table manners. For you this phone call is over. Click."
-- DrBob, Mar 16 2012

Can't wait for the sequel.
-- Alterother, Mar 16 2012

"You are standing in an open field west of a white house, with a boarded front door. There is a small mailbox here. Press one to head East. Press two to head West."
-- RayfordSteele, Mar 17 2012

-- zen_tom, Mar 19 2012

It is very dark in the mailbox. You might get eaten by a grue.
-- phundug, Mar 19 2012

Or play the original on your computer while you are waiting...see link
-- goff, Mar 20 2012

"Welcome to Zork Enterpises. Press 1 to "look at mailbox", Press two to "look in mailbox", Press 3 to "try mailbox", Press 4 to "Use Mailbox", Press 5 to get a hint on what the hell you should do next..."
-- goff, Mar 20 2012

-- zen_tom, Mar 20 2012

-- DrBob, Mar 20 2012

Genius [+]
-- marklar, Mar 21 2012

press seven to call Newscorp and ask them if you've had any voicemail
-- not_morrison_rm, Mar 21 2012

Love the Falconhoof link, calum. Classic!
-- DrBob, Mar 21 2012

random, halfbakery