Fashion: Hat: Protection
Firewall Hat   (+5, -4)  [vote for, against]
To keep your brain safe from unnecessary/potentially dangerous information

Mostly to be used at meetings, the firewall hat is a brimmed hat about shoulder width all around. Upon hearing the beginning of any information that can immediately be recognised as personally irrelevent a button is pushed that ignites a ring of small jets positioned, pointing downwards, on the rim of the brim. This will create a ring of flame descending to approximately the level of the bottom of the ear so saving the wearer from further burdening an already over-burdened brain.
-- Mony a Mickle, Nov 17 2008

Is the gas to be provided by fermentation inside the alimentary canal of the wearer?
-- neelandan, Nov 17 2008

Or possibly from a secret underseat pipe from the chair of the Chair.

I'll get my coat
-- Mony a Mickle, Nov 17 2008

I'm a bit sad to see four fishbones on this, obviously people aren't imagining this fine hat in use, sobersuited and firewallhatted businesstypes, seated around a bland meeting room desk, each keen to pursue their own agenda, but each also aware that the moment their turn comes to speak, all other attendees will ingite their hats, leaving the speaker to drone on folorn and ignored about Q3 uptick into an air thick with the smell of gas and of burned eyebrows. Think of it as a phlogistonic and therefore more arresting representation of the now pandemic "Ignoring by BlackBerry" technique.
-- calum, Nov 17 2008

Dang—so all this time the aluminum foil wasn't enough?
-- Ander, Sep 02 2012

//Dang—so all this time the aluminum foil wasn

wonders is additional tinfoil chaff would help, especially if it's glued to mice and then ejected upwards by air cannon...
-- not_morrison_rm, Sep 02 2012

random, halfbakery