Product: Wallet
Flashbang Wallet   (+6, -4)  [vote for, against]
Permanent miniature flashbang grenade built into a wallet activates during theft

The wallet's owner wears a radio-frequency emitter so that the wallet can determine distance by signal strength. The wallet arms the flashbang grenade when the wallet is farther than 2 meters away or when a concealed switch is activated. When the thief opens the wallet, the flashbang grenade detonates. Increasingly, criminals familiar with the flashbang wallet might turn away or close their eyes while removing the money. During this time, the wallet sprays ink and heavy-scented cologne to mark the perpetrator while the victim looks for a phone, a heavy object, or a place many miles away.
-- Ketchupybread, Mar 15 2009

Oh, flashbang wallet!
What a picture!
What a picture!
What a photograph! [DrBob, Mar 16 2009]

[+]...but I feel sorry for the person that finds your real lost wallet someday.
-- 2 fries shy of a happy meal, Mar 16 2009

paranoia. you would think that an pandemic of pickpocketing identity thieves was plaguing the English speaking world. Not since the romance of the highwayman has the art of petty theft been so elevated and examined. If you are so terrified leave your wallet at home, carry a DEBIT ONLY card, lock your drivers license in your glove box and GROVEL IN A FREAKING HOLE. Worrywarts aren't going to buy something that might give them a fatal Bris if they shuffle their pocket the wrong way.
-- WcW, Mar 16 2009

Sir, hand over your pocket knife, bottle of water and your wallet, please.
-- loonquawl, Mar 16 2009

If you meet a real pro you never see them coming. I lost 300 euro's between the cash machine slot and getting it into my wallet, and only learnt this when I went to pay for dinner and discover my wallet was bare.
-- eight_nine_tortoise, Mar 16 2009

If you forget to pick up your wallet, you temporarily blind and deafen everyone around you. It would remind you to pick up your wallet though.
-- Bad Jim, Mar 18 2009

How big are these grenades? Because my ass has a deep wallet shaped dent already. Any deeper and I might be incontinent.
-- bungston, Mar 18 2009

you might discover a class of people who count on blinding themselves.

stun guns seem like recreation now.

you could deter flagrant spending by slightly altering this device.
-- vfrackis, Mar 18 2009

/stun guns seem like recreation now. /

you hang with a wild crowd, vfrackis. Please post video.
-- bungston, Mar 18 2009

So if I'm a pickpocket, I just open the wallet within the first 2 meters.
-- Smurfsahoy, Mar 20 2009

A good idea! Though it should be activated by the act of opining it. The wallet would not temporarily blind and deafen you if you opened it because it would be within 2 meters of you. The wallet probably only needs to make a loud noise (scream) to alert everyone to the theft. It will be simple enough to build, so I'll get right to it ASAP.
-- bluebeaversscrubbingourfloors, Mar 21 2009

random, halfbakery