Product: Toilet Paper
Flass   (+3, -7)  [vote for, against]
Butt floss.

Dental floss with soft toilet paper around it, wrapped like rope around a spool. Easier to manipulate for "inside jobs" when you aren't keen on getting down 'n dirty. Probably not flushable unless made without floss. Comes with handle for no-touch operation.

Or a reusable stick that can be covered in a TP sock...
-- polartomato, Aug 11 2002

HalfBaked- Butt Floss! http://www.fallsoff...falls/buttfloss.htm
Awww dammit, someone has somewhat more eloquently proposed the very same thing... [polartomato, Aug 14 2002, last modified Oct 21 2004]

What, you don't use the rope on your hanging shower soap?
-- FarmerJohn, Aug 11 2002

I am not going to dignify this idea with a response.

Oh well, croissant.
-- BinaryCookies, Aug 11 2002

Sigh. O MFD, where art thou? There is probably no dignifying this idea- but as a public service I have posted it anyway. I know it sounds gross, but I really think there could be a very large, discreet market out there for this product. It might be a little embarrassing to buy at the checkout counter... but I think this could really revolutionize ass-wiping as we know it. I would appreciate this at those times when you cannot wash your hands after using the restroom. If I could only pry my tongue from my cheek... anybody ready to post an idea for a tongue crowbar?

Btw- UB, g-strings are clothing, not a hygienic device, despite their flassy appearance. They are the washable version of flass, perhaps?

As for sope on a roap, I don't use it. I will keep that annotation in mind the next time I pick up a soap on a roap.
-- polartomato, Aug 12 2002

polartomato: "If only I could pry my tongue from my cheek" - H*** M*** M***** of G** - I hope you weren't that desperate to wipe your backside...
-- DrCurry, Aug 12 2002

Oh, ugh, yuk .... I think a new HalfBakery category is needed: "Juvenile Obsession: Toilet", then all the stuff like this and Bathroom Slippers and suchlike can be dumped in it.

Oh, and a stinky fishbone ..... just flush it ...
-- 8th of 7, Aug 12 2002

Blissmiss: But you're paranoid about people peeking at your feet under the partitions in case they identify you as the source of a sound and/or smell ? Yeah, right ...

UnaBubba: " I think of G-strings as *un*hygienic devices. " Well, I think of them as components of musical instruments, actually. What's so unhygenic about that ? Can you get diseases from sharing Cellos now ?
-- 8th of 7, Aug 12 2002

+1 on the strength of the name and two-word summary alone. This just cracks me up.
-- iuvare, Aug 12 2002

Ewww icky pun iuvare
-- Helium, Aug 12 2002

Geez. This really is a serious idea. We've gotta have something more technically advanced than a mis-directed drinking fountain or a roll of paper.

Also, DrCurry, I didn't really think about the 'cheek' pun for some reason....

Hee hee... "cracks" me up...

Blissmiss: this is a dead serious idea. Toilet paper is so... pedestrian. Hemhorroid cream is icky, but necessary. And we must all be subjected to overly-descriptive ads for feminine moisturizers on TV.
-- polartomato, Aug 12 2002

Corn cobs.
-- pottedstu, Aug 14 2002

Shake with the right, wipe with the left.
-- zigness, Mar 04 2004

// a reusable stick //

That's baked. In communal toilets like they had in ye olde days, they used this - apparently, it's where the phrase "getting the wrong end of the stick" originates...
-- saker, Mar 05 2004

Could we have automated flassing machines that worked the flass back and forth for us? Would this maybe be something you only saw in Europe?
-- egads, Mar 05 2004

random, halfbakery