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Product: Cigarette Paper
Free Range Rolling Paper Farm   (+4)  [vote for, against]
For the concerned smoker

Do you ever wonder whether or not the rollie that you're making is supporting battery farmed rolling papers? Have you ever taken the time to check out this horrible method of rizla production?

Fear not! With a simple loan to me of anywhere between £1,000,000 and £100,000,000* you can help to solve this problem.

Your money shall be going towards the construction of huge plastic domes with enormous fans on the floor beneath safety grilles to prevent any nasty accidents involving people and fast moving blades.
These plastic domes shall be home to many thousands of rolling papers, floating and fluttering upon the artificial currents created by the fans. Obviously there shall be separate domes for different breeds of rolling paper.
These many different domes shall be the 'farm' as it were.

Upon arrival at the farm, you shall pay a small fee for the loaning of a special suit with fabric stretched between the legs and arms to increase surface area, and a small winch with a large amount of safety wire attached to a carabina. You shall also be issued a hoover like device with a see through receptacle.
You will then be lead to an entrance area to the dome of your choice, where your safety line will be clipped somewhere sensible and you will then step out and into the air, to be carried amongst the rizlas where you shall ensnare them with your hoover.
When you deem the receptacle full enough, you can follow your safety line back to the ground and hand over your suit and hoover. Your rolling papers will then be ironed, folded and packaged, and you will be charged according to amount caught or similar**.

* Money is liable to never be returned and may well be used to 'live it up' as opposed to the suggested purpose.

** No smoking allowed on site.
-- kaz, Jun 28 2005

Anybody got a suggestion for a better catergory?
-- kaz, Jun 28 2005

product: cigarette paper?
Not that I'm anybody.
-- 2 fries shy of a happy meal, Jun 28 2005

Ah ha, I didn't think of looking for something like that. Consider it moved.
-- kaz, Jun 28 2005

My wife purchased "free range chicken broth"...

...I don't know if that is as funny to other people as it was to me, but I almost peed my pants.

In keeping with how inane people can be, I award a bunnie.
-- James Newton, Jun 28 2005

We're talking pine beetle infested country-sides everywhere.
-- mensmaximus, Jun 28 2005

random, halfbakery