Product: Kitchenware
Garlotine   (+6)  [vote for, against]
Wiseguys cut garlic with a razor, kapeesh?

Cutting garlic with a razor blade for that authentic Italian American pasta taste is a very difficult task.

The Garlotine is a contraption that looks like a very small guillotine, but with a mechanism to push a clove of garlic through in the tiniest increments possible. The clove is held in place by a small rubber knob that moves out of the way just as the razor reaches it. As the spring-loaded razor moves back up, the rubber knnob moves back into place and the clove is pushed forward a fraction of a millimetre.

Get Goodfellas-thin garlic for your sauces with the minimum of fuss.

Can also be used on someone's little pinky, if the need arises.
-- theleopard, May 23 2012

Dinner in prison
[theleopard, May 23 2012]

[Loris, May 23 2012]

The_20Pit_20and_20t...dulum_20Egg_20Timer [xenzag, May 27 2012]

You mean a microtome?
-- AbsintheWithoutLeave, May 23 2012

You can't use a good chef's knife for this? I'd lend you one of mine but you probably wouldn't send it back.
-- UnaBubba, May 23 2012

The precision required to get the garlic thin enough requires mechanical assistance. Unfortunately, precisely like a microtome, but for garlic.

I'm assuming that means it's redundant?

Bloody scientists.
-- theleopard, May 23 2012

Why not use a mandolin? (And no, not the stringed instrument.)
-- MaxwellBuchanan, May 23 2012

//Why not use a mandolin? (And no, not the stringed instrument.) //

Is that a type of marsupial?
-- theleopard, May 23 2012

It's a vicious kitchen implement consisting of a very sharp (possibly serrated) blade set into a board, over which a potato (or other similarly sized food) is passed rapidly, back and forth, taking a slice each time of a fixed width equal to the projection of the blade from the board, until such time as the potato runs out and bits of fingers/hand are introduced to the blade's edge.
-- zen_tom, May 23 2012

//Unfortunately, precisely like a microtome, but for garlic.//
To be fair, the microtome I used at school required the specimen (garlic) to be embedded in wax, which could, I imagine, severely bugger-up the flavour of your spaghetti con vongole.
-- AbsintheWithoutLeave, May 23 2012

how thin do you want it? one cell thick? or were you hoping that you could split the atoms inside it, and open a window to another dimension that you could throw your food scraps into?
-- erenjay, May 23 2012

Multidimensional garlic recipes... mmmm the possibilities are endless.

What's clearly needed here is laser microcutting technology.
-- RayfordSteele, May 23 2012

Water jet. With a ganged rig you could cut the whole thing in one pass,nothing to clean ever.
-- WcW, May 23 2012

//I'm assuming that means it's redundant?//

You mean it's widely known to exist ~ Bloody chefs.
-- Loris, May 23 2012

You can do this with a one of those rotating knives they have in delis. They can be set very thin. I have thought about purchasing one for exactly this reason. Sometimes the deli will slice up some garlic or onion for you if you ask nicely and have already bought some prosciutto.
-- bungston, May 23 2012

All I can picture is the bloody end of the Ancien Vampire Regime
-- oscil8, May 25 2012

I think this is quite an original idea. Is there a large scale version under development to convert potatoes into crisps? [+]
-- xenzag, May 25 2012

I like the name. +
-- blissmiss, May 25 2012

I'd buy a multi-blade mandoline. Useful.
-- UnaBubba, May 27 2012

Cool. I would like to see an evil villain pendulum-axe version as well.
-- 2 fries shy of a happy meal, May 27 2012

just for you... fries... see link
-- xenzag, May 27 2012

Thinking about it (though not very hard), "Garlotine" sounds like a toothpaste you shouldn't use before a first date,
-- AbsintheWithoutLeave, May 29 2012

random, halfbakery