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Science: Health: Eye: Glasses
God's Glasses   (+6, -3)  [vote for, against]
A periscope helmet in a mirrored room.

The subject wakes up on the floor of a dark room. His head is heavy, but is comfortably nested in soft padding. He raises his hands and feels the hard smooth shell of the helmet that confines his head. Feeling claustrophobic he pulls, and lifts at any available hold. Eventually he accepts the helmet cannot be removed. A light flickers on and his eyes adjust. He sees someone lying on the floor just as he is, and that person is also wearing a helmet. When he stands to approach the person, he cannot understand what he sees.

There is no longer another person lying on the floor, but only a single person standing alone in the room wearing a helmet. He is looking down at that person. He again grabs at the helmet in panic, and sees the person below also grabbing at the helmet. It does not take long before he realizes he is watching himself from above. Again he raises his hands and feels the entire surface of the mask. He sees his fingers when his hands pass over the top, and reasons it is some sort of periscope.

Encouraged by this discovery he paces the small mirrored room, looking down at himself banging upon the walls. Eventually his foot scrapes something against the white floor, and he kneels down to find it is a sheet of crisp white paper. Turning it over he sees from above that it contains text illegible from that distance. He raises it as high as he possibly can but it still cannot be read. He finally places the sheet over the top of the helmet and sees the mirror image of blurry letters. No longer able to see himself he slowly lowers the paper, and just before the letters become clear everything goes dark.
-- rcarty, Jan 06 2013

Put these on a chicken http://www.gizmag.c...-upside-down/21595/
not at all the same but similarly inspired [Brian the Painter, Jan 06 2013]

"First thing you should do is put a breathing hole in the helmet."
-- FlyingToaster, Jan 06 2013


I read the idea and then everything went dark.
-- xandram, Jan 06 2013


Aside from the implied abduction element, I see no reason not to make this idea a reality.
-- calum, Jan 06 2013


I would like you to consider the reality of abduction and alienation, and alienism.
-- rcarty, Jan 06 2013


Does the helmet have a compartment for the bees?
-- MaxwellBuchanan, Jan 06 2013


I think you'll find that there has been a certain nihilism in understanding human subjectivity.
-- rcarty, Jan 06 2013


Don't knock nihilism. Ernst Nihil was one of the most productive philosophers of his time, making many useful discoveries on which daily life still depends to this day.
-- MaxwellBuchanan, Jan 06 2013


Deconstruction is just realizing how your life or some sort of object was put together.
-- rcarty, Jan 08 2013


If travelling through space that fast is wasted time then everything else must be garbage.
-- rcarty, Jan 08 2013


//you're actually talking to a fuckwit. My previous annos deleted.//

Damn - I missed it. What fuckwit was [rc] talking to?
-- MaxwellBuchanan, Jan 08 2013


Deconstructing one's life is a bit like deconstructing a cat. It's never quite the same after you put it back together. Whether this is good or bad is moot.
-- MaxwellBuchanan, Jan 08 2013


OK you too don't make me pull over!!!! I'll pull this fukin' car over right now!
-- Brian the Painter, Jan 09 2013


You TWO? Do you mean the 2 [rcarty]s?
-- xandram, Jan 09 2013


rcarty yelling at himself and possibly Maxwell I dunno. This invention is way out there but I'd like to sneak it onto a friends head sometime for giggles.
-- Brian the Painter, Jan 10 2013


Why does everything go dark right before he is able to read the paper?
-- EdwinBakery, Jan 10 2013


//yelling at himself and possibly Maxwell//

I'm sorry, was someone yelling at me? I wasn't paying attention.

While I'm here, I might revise my comment: // deconstructing a cat. It's never quite the same after you put it back together//. Recent advances in the microsurgery wing have been most impressive and, whilst the cat is not quite the _same_, I think it's fair to say that it's an _improvement_.
-- MaxwellBuchanan, Jan 10 2013


//yelling at himself and possibly Maxwell//

I'm sorry, was someone yelling at me? I wasn't paying attention.

While I'm here, I might revise my comment: // deconstructing a cat. It's never quite the same after you put it back together//. Recent advances in the microsurgery wing have been most impressive and, whilst the cat is not quite the _same_, I think it's fair to say that it's an _improvement_.
-- MaxwellBuchanan, Jan 10 2013


/ Why does everything go dark right before he is able to read the paper? — EdwinBakery, Jan 10 2013 /

I think he has occluded the lens atop his helmet with the paper. The paper is between the light and the lens.

Or he has fainted; blood loss from the leeches.
-- bungston, Aug 14 2016


Pretty limited view of god.
-- wjt, Aug 15 2016


/limited view/ With the upgrade, your feet are like bronze glowing in a furnace.
-- bungston, Aug 15 2016


Glowing feet [shakes head]. I wonder what it would be like to have a mind based on all the photon interactions of the universe.
-- wjt, Aug 17 2016


^ Universes...

//Why does everything go dark right before he is able to read the paper?//

To build hype for the sequel of course.
-- 2 fries shy of a happy meal, Aug 17 2016


How do you get around the problem that one has fractions? God only knows.
-- wjt, Aug 18 2016


The helmet part of this has been baked several times. The one whose name I remember is "Topshot Helmet", though that's not the best-known one.
-- notexactly, Aug 18 2016


Sounds like something that would be in the book "The Narcoleptic Dialectic".
-- lepton, Aug 22 2016



random, halfbakery