Vehicle: Airplane: Security
Goose Catcher   (+8, -2)  [vote for, against]
Grids to keep frozen chickens and other high speed avians out of jet engines

In the same way that locomotives crossing the Plains are fitted with cow catchers to ease the lazy bovines out of the way without entangling the train wheels, I wonder if it would be possible to fit a slanted grid in front of jet engine intakes to keep birds out. The grid would not impede the flow of air, but would hustle impacting geese, pigeons, short-sighted superheroes, etc. off to the side.
-- DrCurry, Nov 26 2004

who comes out best? (for etherman) http://www.birdstri...g/events/signif.htm
I think the answer is no one, or possibly the bird who dies a sudden death [dentworth, Nov 26 2004]

Your basic 'other high speed avians'
[2 fries shy of a happy meal, Jan 18 2009]

[ The grid would not impede the flow of air ]

I suspect it would, but it would certainly look damn cool to have four cowcatchers on the wings. Put a small one on the nose as well, to balance out the look.
-- normzone, Nov 26 2004

short-sighted superheroes, heehee!

I wonder how many smaller birds are minced so finely that we don't hear about it. is this where the UK sparrow population has gone?
-- po, Nov 26 2004

To a certain extent baked on the F- 117 Nighthawk Stealth mean looking mofo plane. Although it has more to do with cutting down the radar profile than preventing bird strike. It would be interesting to know if any F- 117's have had a bird stike on its intake grills, and who came off best.

<edit> sorry last bit was stupid, clearly the bird lost but you know what I mean.
-- etherman, Nov 26 2004

Perhaps just dangle a bird feeder from the underside of the plane. This will divert the bird's attention.

Warning - the bird must be extremely quick witted.
-- spiritualized, Nov 26 2004

I went out with a quick witted bird once- big mistake.
-- etherman, Nov 29 2004

on her part? ;)
-- po, Nov 29 2004

of course po. you mind me alot of her :o)
-- etherman, Nov 29 2004

//A jet flying at 500 MPH or so //
Gee, Brau, I'm not sure I've ever seen a goose flying at 36,000 feet. And if your plane is going 500 MPH close enough to the ground to need this, a goose hit is the least of your problems.
-- krelnik, Nov 29 2004

Thinking about this one again. It seems like a good idea to me. At the very least these things could be folded against the plane body and be deployable when birds are sighted nearby, as was apparently the case with the recent collision in New York.

Alternatively, a scoop which folded out and diverted air would slow the plain but could provide a crosswind in front of the engine mouth that might help divert an incoming bird and avoid impact altogether.
-- bungston, Jan 18 2009

//Alternatively a scoop which folded out//
Russian fighterjets close their regular scoops and open alternate ones on top of the fuselage specifically to avoid ingesting crud when taking off from the rough strips they usually operate from.

Problem ("problem") on passenger jets would be expense: the alternate scoops aren't near as efficient.
-- FlyingToaster, Jan 18 2009

random, halfbakery