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Hamster's Corkscrew Wheel   (+8, -1)  [vote for, against]
controlled exercise device for hamster

Hamsters have been known to keep running on an exercise wheel until they die of exhaustion. Hamster's Corkscrew Wheel solves this problem.

The wheel operates in the same way as the conventional device apart from one main difference, that being the corkscrew variation.

This means that the wheel is much longer than it is tall, and as the hamster turns it by running forward, the corkscrew forces it to also travel sideways, traversing the width of the device until it is gently ejected out the other side.

It can of course run back round to the entry point, but the still spinning wheel will prevent it from entering until the speed declines, compelling it to take a short rest.

Greyhound racing version under consideration.
-- xenzag, Oct 07 2010

Have it at an angle, and have a little chute for the hamster to be ejected into, to slide it down to the bottom again.
-- pocmloc, Oct 07 2010


Ohhh..... Nice... Until a poor little fella gets lost and confused in there and dies... Slim chance but... hamsters definitely obey Murphy's law. Still like it though. + Now someone needs to try and find one, shirley?
-- daseva, Oct 07 2010


This could simply be a disc that is on a threaded axle. As the wheel spins, the disc makes the wheel narrower until it is impractical for the hamster to use. The hamster would then have to go round the other side and run in the opposite direction.
-- marklar, Oct 07 2010


Do hamsters always run in the same direction?
-- pocmloc, Oct 07 2010


Yes they do. It's called "forwards".
-- xenzag, Oct 07 2010


// to keep running on an exercise wheel until they die of exhaustion. //

It's called "Natural Selection". Any creature that's that stupid doesn't deserve to live.
-- 8th of 7, Oct 07 2010


Brilliant but I'd play up being able to watch the hamster do a sideways moonwalk effect more than keeping Skittles from popping a gasket. (That was my hamster's name) Skittles, not gasket.

You could also do an Archimedes screw effect that raises it from one level to another.
-- doctorremulac3, Oct 07 2010


Hamster gaskets...hmm, some ideas in there, methinks.

My pet hamster, Gasket (we called him that after he got stuck in the sink drain), died from popping Skittles. But, his wheel kept on going around for a couple of hours...the 'motor effect' thing. Sad.
-- Boomershine, Oct 07 2010


Don't make us come over there, [bigs].
-- 8th of 7, Oct 07 2010


In case of hamster jam you could have a hamster jam dislodge motor to run up the system and purge it clean. Two, three horsepower should do it.
-- doctorremulac3, Oct 07 2010


//...a hamster jam dislodge motor...//

Where was this motor when poor Gasket (previously known as Gobbles) got caught in my sink? All we had back then was a manual hamster blaster and a shoe horn. It was the Skittles what kilt him, though.

I think two horsepower should do it [doc].
-- Boomershine, Oct 07 2010


How about a hamster wall of death?
-- MaxwellBuchanan, Oct 07 2010


Ran it by marketing, they want it called: "The Hamster Wall of Glory"
-- doctorremulac3, Oct 07 2010


[MB] I'd say "hooray for this" except, as I explained above, my hamster cannot attend.

Wait...the wall of death is not for dead hamsters, is it? I doubt it.

How about a hamster dumpster for fat dead hamsters?
-- Boomershine, Oct 07 2010


Incidentally, should this not be "Hamsters' Corkscrew Wheel" ?
-- MaxwellBuchanan, Oct 07 2010


[MB] Probably, but at least it wasn't "Ass Toasters."
-- Boomershine, Oct 07 2010


//hamster dumpster// A wicker hamster dumpster: hamster hamper.
-- mouseposture, Oct 07 2010


//A wicker hamster dumpster: hamster hamper//

I dunno. Wicker can be a bastard in the hamster dumpster. Perhaps one of those Amsterdam Master plaster hamster hampers?

(I have a headache.)
-- Boomershine, Oct 08 2010


A hampster dumpster clearly belongs on a wall. Quite possibly on a wall of death. All the two horse-power and all the King's men can't quite round off the joke properly.
-- pertinax, Oct 08 2010


[pertinax]//A hampster dumpster clearly belongs on a wall//

I believe you mean Humpty Dumpster belongs on a wall.

Hmm...the Humpty Dumptser Plaster Hampster Hamper.
-- Boomershine, Oct 08 2010


What? Who's humping Dumpy?
-- MaxwellBuchanan, Oct 08 2010


Mmmm... hamster jam...

Perhaps the wheel could simply be mounted on threads and unscrew itself after awhile?
-- RayfordSteele, Oct 10 2010



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