Product: Metaphor
Hell's Thermometer   (+10, -3)  [vote for, against]
For when hell freezes over.

"Can I borrow a tenner?"
"When Hell freezes over"

This seems to make things rather difficult. What if Hell actually does freeze over, and I won't know about it? What I propose is Hell's thermometer, a thermometer to figure the exact moment of Hell freezing over, and then I can borrow my (theoretical) tenner.

My 'thermometer' is just a statistics machine, and will measure things such as:
How many kids passing high school (over an estimate of how many children who are meant to be in high school)
Rate of crime
Number of teachers
Death rates (those who died from violence, drugs, war, etc, over number of people dying overall)
Number of people in prison
Employment rates

And so on.

The 'Thermometer' will have a scale where the 'temperature' will rise for the amount of crime, etc, but they can be cancelled out by number of doctors, etc

Once the temperature has sunk to 0C, Hell (in theory) will have frozen over.

It could make a good website, you could just sit there and watch the temperature increasing and decreasing, with discussions on what caused it to go up (or down).
-- froglet, Aug 25 2005

Hell does freeze over http://www.forgotte...ummit/helltown.html
Hell Town, Ohio, actually. Most years. [Ling, Aug 25 2005]

Weather forecasts
Baked, not as a thermometer but a weather forecast [fridge duck, Aug 26 2005]

(??) Thermodynamics of Hell http://www.people.v...rjh9u/hellthrm.html
Damned hot [csea, Aug 26 2005]

(??) Thermodynamics of Hell 2
Pretty cold [csea, Aug 26 2005]

//The 'Thermometer' will have a scale where the 'temperature' will rise for the amount of crime, etc, but they can be cancelled out by number of doctors, etc//

Ever heard of Harold Shipman?

Like the idea b.t.w.
-- squeak, Aug 25 2005

I love this idea! It should be done now. I imagine a long complicated formula to work it out, but yes, absolutely there should be a website. Also, maybe something about the aerodynamic properties of Sus scrofa?
-- nineteenthly, Aug 25 2005

Hell freezing should coincide with Sus scrofa’s ability to demonstrate aerodynamic properties, so you could just gauge that.

I read an excellent piece years ago on the odds of hell freezing. I’ll link it if I can find it.
-- Shz, Aug 25 2005 is for sale, 7,500$
-- my-nep, Aug 25 2005

There are a couple of versions of "The Thermodynamics of Hell" - see [links]
-- csea, Aug 26 2005

Until today, I'd never heard of Harold Shipman.

But now Ive seen the name twice on the HB.
-- DesertFox, Sep 21 2005

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