A spoon or blade shaped thing is mounted on the end of a horizontal rod about a foot above the centre of the table. The rod is rotated on its axis by some mechanical means at a slowish rate (one revolution every few seconds).
To start with, the rod tips forward into a jar of runny honey and draws onto the blade or spoon thing a sizable gob. Then, after returning to horizontal, the rotation of the rod should keep the honey perpetually about to drip off onto the table... but not quite!
A control knob allows the speed to be adjusted depending on honey viscosity. To help yourself to some honey, hold your toast underneath and either press the button marked B or hold your finger against the turning rod to slow it down and allow some honey to dribble down.-- pocmloc, Oct 22 2011 Clarification: is the spoon- or blade-shaped thing itself in line with the shaft or perpendicular to it (when in the default position)?-- Alterother, Oct 22 2011 what does button A do again?-- po, Oct 22 2011 The same thing it did before, of course!-- pocmloc, Oct 22 2011 [Alterother], it is articulated so that the user can experiment to find the optimum position.-- pocmloc, Oct 22 2011 Oka-ay... So, is this a sort of mechanized novelty honey- dipper? There remains a distinct possibility that I'm missing the point.-- Alterother, Oct 22 2011 //what does button A do again?//
Actually, A is not a button but a spoon (or a blade), as you can see in paragraph 1.-- swimswim, Oct 22 2011 ah, A spoon!-- po, Oct 22 2011 Didn't they settle that in one of the Matrix movies? There is no spoon.-- normzone, Oct 22 2011 There's a flaw in it somewhere. No-mess honey is like perpetual motion: the violation of Physics may be cleverly hidden, but you know it must be there.
In this case, probably something to do with A being both a spoon and a control knob, which is imposible with baryonic matter.-- mouseposture, Oct 22 2011 There's something funny with this runny honey, sonny.-- swimswim, Oct 22 2011 Do you think that the honey would gradually work its way up the spindle? Perhaps it should be angled down a few degrees.
And yes, //a sort of mechanized novelty honey- dipper// is exactly the point.-- pocmloc, Oct 22 2011 Ah, good. Thank you for that.-- Alterother, Oct 22 2011 it needs a button C to control a swisher that keps the flies off.-- po, Oct 23 2011 I think it sounds a bit magical to be able to keep the honey from dripping with a control knob. All honey varies in consistency and viscosity...-- xandram, Oct 23 2011 Then clearly it needs a camera focused on the drip feeding into an image recognition system, which controls the speed of the motor to keep it at its optimum value.-- Wrongfellow, Oct 23 2011 Do flies like honey? Wouldn't bees be more of a threat?
I am thinking that the dipping is inelegant. Perhaps the honey could be fed in along the hollow shaft.
Yes, a camera would be good, or a discreet flunky.-- pocmloc, Oct 23 2011 flies like honey? why the f**k not?-- po, Oct 23 2011 I think we can safely say that this would be the first mechanized novelty honey-dipper to incorporate a potentiometer speed control, but the flies vs. bees problem may require an experiment involving fewer variables. There are just too many things going on here for us to determine conclusively whether flies are more attracted to honey than bees, and, regardless of the outcome, which species poses a bigger threat/annoyance. Occam's Razor, people!-- Alterother, Oct 23 2011 We should also consider examining if the existence of honey attracts bees to a location or if honey is the *result* of bees being in the location. Where is Winnie the Poo when you need him?-- swimswim, Oct 23 2011 We are all in agreement then, there is no spoon?-- 2 fries shy of a happy meal, Oct 23 2011 The button should probably be marked 'H' for Honey. Otherwise, you run the risk of people expecting the device to release Bees. (There remains the danger of the device being used on its side, in which case people may anticipate something beginning with I, like Ice, Ink, Ice Cream, or Influenza)-- zen_tom, Oct 26 2011 Needs more control variables.
1) temperature control - reticulate coolant through the dipper head at a controlled rate to vary the viscosity of the honey.
2) angle control - vary the angle of the dipper head - vertical will "drip" more freely than horizontal.
3) speed control - vary the rotational speed of the head.
4) 5 feed rate - as per [pocmloc]'s anno - honey is conveyed to the head via internal tubing.
controls 1-4 are manipulated to get the desired dispensation rate onto your chosen recepticle.-- Custardguts, Oct 27 2011 random, halfbakery