1/12th of the people who read their horoscope will be in for a funny prank. All the other horoscopes say standard BS about how great they are, how wonderful everything's gonna be, but one month is extremely nasty.

Aries: You're a wonderful person and this is your month.

Leo: Your inner beauty shines as you find true love this month!

Sagittarius: You're smelly. Very very smelly. Use some soap for Christ sake. You smell like a damn goat.

Capricorn: Like beautiful flowers, you're really blooming and great things await you.

Etc.

The sagittarius would of course read the other horoscopes and see that only theirs was singled out. Now I assume NOBODY would take this seriously and jump off a bridge, they'd see that all the other sagittaria got pranked too and everybody would laugh and have a good time.

Of course, this would change every month so everybody gets a chance to be part of the fun.
-- doctorremulac3, Jan 25 2020

Anteater Attacks https://www.youtube...watch?v=31vXN7NYpl8
[Voice, Jan 26 2020]

In the novel "Dirk Gently's holistic detective agency", the protagonist always has a terrible horoscope in his local paper, because he'd once riled up the mystic.
-- Loris, Jan 25 2020


"Pisces: Several people you haven't seen for decades unexpectedly show up at your memorial service".
-- 8th of 7, Jan 25 2020


"Taurus: your post-mortem reveals that your claim to being immortal was an exaggeration."
-- MaxwellBuchanan, Jan 25 2020


"Libra: When you tell your friends and family 'I feel really ill' you will be entirely correct, and at your funeral they will be racked by remorse".
-- 8th of 7, Jan 25 2020


//Have one month be very insulting and nasty. (in a fun way)//

You see, [doc], this is the mistake you keep making lately. You begin with a potentially evil idea, but then somehow veer off into niceness.
-- MaxwellBuchanan, Jan 25 2020


Off with his head. Oh wait, maybe we could get by with just a few fingers and toes, or to make things simpler we could just give him a hair cut, or brush his teeth for him, or something like that...Right???
-- blissmiss, Jan 25 2020


Wrong. "RELEASE THE ANTEATERS !"

(Anteaters have huge claws, but no teeth - and an enormously long tongue. They can, therefore give you an extremely nasty lick.

Terrible way to die ... )
-- 8th of 7, Jan 25 2020


//They can, therefore give you an extremely nasty lick... Terrible way to die ... //

I hadn't realized [doc] was so toxic - you mean like a cane toad?
-- MaxwellBuchanan, Jan 26 2020


More like a cross between a Fugu fish and a Basilisk, but basically yes.
-- 8th of 7, Jan 26 2020


Poison wouldn't enter into it but yes, attempting to lick me (or anybody without being invited first) is probably not a good idea. Could lead to... trouble.
-- doctorremulac3, Jan 26 2020



random, halfbakery