Sport: Fighting: Martial Arts
House of Flying Pucks   (+12)  [vote for, against]
Martial arts training for ice hockey goalkeepers.

Snow falls softly on ground of ice. There is burning cold when wind blow through courtyard. The snail, he only emerge in folly. Wise man say, "When goalkeepers train, there is martial beauty in clumsiness." The snail stays. He frozen.

In House of Flying Pucks, shifu squats tall in front of class. He ready. Behind mask; his eyes ready. Class squat in courtyard; this frog stance. Thirty trainees, full padding; warm in cold. Snowflakes collect on tree branch. When they fall, class begin.

Shifu can feel the snowflake, the last one, falling from sky. He knows. He feel it drift down from the heavens. It comes closer to branch. It whips in wind, closer still. Wise man say (I think he same guy), "When you know how powder fly, it never startle when in face." He wise.

Snowflake tickles branch; then snow fall! Suddenly, all in unison; Broken-leg horse manoeuvre, into split-trouser gymnast! Thrusting knee, to twisted-ankle shrew begs-in-market! Elephant's-trunk leap, basic roly-poly, shift into monkey-falls-from-tree flailing-limb attack! Twisting matrix-catch, sliding gator-save, into baby-sits-on-ice!

Shifu pulls hockey stick from back-strapped scabbard. Shing! It shines, reflects sun through clouds. Then, hits pucks at trainees, Puck! Puck! Puck! Puck! Each one adopts stance to catch puck: Cowering beaver face-catch! Twisted-snake-on-oil dive! Gasping- fish thrusting-pelvis! Shifu pleased.

Now – for 10 minutes – all punch each other in face.

It inspires to see from clumsiness, flowers such beauty.
-- theleopard, Jun 08 2011

The spirit of goalkeepers was irrepressible!
Imagine some of these moves, performed by 30 people in unison, with no puck. It's not like you can see the puck anyway. [theleopard, Jun 08 2011]

HHWWWWOOAAAAAARRR!!!! http://upload.wikim...ockey_team_1921.jpg
1920s Ice Hockido [theleopard, Jun 10 2011]

House of Flying Daggers
[normzone, Jun 15 2011]

a gift!
-- po, Jun 08 2011

Auspicious notion [theleopard]!
-- zen_tom, Jun 08 2011

Ice hockey? Random, senseless ultra-violence against strangers… [+]
-- 8th of 7, Jun 08 2011

leopard manage to make ugly sport beautiful. Next he conquer levitation and world energy crisis. I watch for gasping fish thrusting pelvis block to acknowledge master's influence on sport.
-- RayfordSteele, Jun 08 2011

Truly, the leopard always wanted to change his sports.
-- theleopard, Jun 08 2011

Isn't this a scene from Kung Fu Panda?
It should be...
-- goff, Jun 08 2011

No idea. Ask [po]?
-- theleopard, Jun 09 2011

So that's how the Panda got two black eyes- ice hockey.

Suddenly it all begins to make sense…
-- 8th of 7, Jun 09 2011

//a gift!// Is [po] saying that [theleopard] gives a flying puck?
-- spidermother, Jun 09 2011

ahem! :)
-- po, Jun 09 2011

[po] obviously doesn't...
-- goff, Jun 09 2011

//gives a flying puck?//

Was wondering when that one was gonna hit...
-- theleopard, Jun 09 2011

I'm too subtle for this place LOL.
-- po, Jun 10 2011

Either I mistake your shape and making quite,
Or else you are that shrewd and knavish sprite
Call'd Robin Goodfellow: are not you he
That frights the maidens of the villagery?
-- DrBob, Jun 10 2011

One of Shakespeare's power plays?
-- theleopard, Jun 10 2011

A Midsummer Night's Dream - first appearance of Puck!
-- DrBob, Jun 10 2011

At the end of a hard day's knee-twisting lunges, the class retire for hot-dogs and pepsi, but not before bowing in lofty silence to their rumbling idol, the wise and all-smoothing great Zamboni.
-- theleopard, Jun 13 2011

It's hard not to imagine this idea being narrated by the Cookie Monster. Which is not a bad thing.

I must take issue with the phrase:
// shifu squats tall//

Other than that, brilliant [+].
-- DocBrown, Jun 15 2011

When you hear the sound of one hand clapping, then you will understand how shifu squats tall.
-- mouseposture, Jun 15 2011

Mean to say, his squat is so imposing, so majestic, as to give the impression of august height.
-- theleopard, Jun 16 2011

Is August the tallest month of the year?
-- Twizz, Jun 16 2011

February is the shortest.
-- po, Jun 16 2011

They do talk about the height of summer as well.
-- pocmloc, Jun 16 2011

...and the depths of winter (and despair).
-- DrBob, Jun 16 2011

Rest assured, he's got a Spring in his step.
-- theleopard, Jun 16 2011

random, halfbakery