Fashion: Hair: Accessory
Ikebana Epiphytic Orchid Fascinator   (+21, -5)  [vote for, against]
Nice hat. Ta. Grew it meself.

The Ikebana Epiphytic Orchid Fascinator is an intriguing combination of house plant, accessory and spiritual focus.

Following the time-honoured Japanese tradition of Ikebana, this arrangement of living flowers, leaves and twigs (O.K., roots) will form a stylish asymmetrical millinery highlight for any festive outfit. The casually draped aerial roots and placement of the fascinator are essential elements of the arrangement.

The combined haircomb and orchid mount is made of hardwood and lacquered in a sumptuous hue which harmonises with your chosen bloom.

When not in use as a fascinator, the orchid comb rests on a handmade matching stand where the arrangement will bring a sense of peace and spiritual calmness to your lounge or bedroom.

Over time you will build up a relationship with your fascinator as with a favourite hat. In contrast to a standard immutable hat, however, the Ikebana Epiphytic Orchid Fascinator changes and grows with you, providing a new sartorial sensation every time you wear it.

Epiphytic orchids require no soil but live on trees stuck into handy crevices. All nutrients are absorbed through the aerial root system. As houseplants, they require only minimal care. Just spray the roots occasionally with the special nutrient solution provided.

As an additional plus, the name of the product fits perfectly into the title line of the song Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious.
-- squeak, Jul 19 2007

Ikebana http://www.ikebanahq.org/whatis.html
[squeak, Jul 19 2007]

Ikebana - Wiki http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ikebana
[squeak, Jul 19 2007]

Fascinators http://www.bespokem...scinators/index.php
[squeak, Jul 19 2007]

(?) Epiphytic orchids http://www.hilozoo....nts/PE_eorchids.htm
[squeak, Jul 19 2007]

The name alone is worth two croissants - here's one of them to cancel the pathetic autoboner.
-- xenzag, Jul 19 2007


Absolutely right, and a second bun for anything that can be sung to the tune of Supercalifragilisti cexpialidocious !
-- batou, Jul 19 2007


Yeah, miserable misanthrope. May you rot in your stinky fish hell.

Great name, great idea, I will dispense with my "standard immutable hat" forthwith.
-- wagster, Jul 19 2007


Might require some specialized environment for optimal health. I have an orchid rehab center on my patio (more of an orchid hospice I fear). I can keep the greenery alive but to get them to bloom again I have to keep them in the shower windowsill.

Humidity might have to be high in your bedroom.
-- normzone, Jul 19 2007


lovely.
-- po, Jul 19 2007


Lovely idea. Some sort of plant food shampoo may be in order to keep the orchids in tip top condition while on your head.
-- moomintroll, Jul 20 2007


+ oh yes, I want one.
-- xandram, Jul 20 2007


It seems to me that you are likely to be followed around by a cloud of buzzing, biting, stinging insects wherever you go. Nice idea but I'm not going to have you standing next to me.
-- DrBob, Jul 20 2007


I always do have a cloud of buzzing, biting, stinging insects around me. I must taste nice.

And where am I going in August, at the height of the midge season?

Scotland. Brilliant timing.
-- squeak, Jul 20 2007


Ikebana Epiphytic Orchid Fascinator,
Could there be a [squeak] idee that was any bit greater?

+
-- csea, Jul 20 2007


Three autoboners now.

<shrugs> (+)
-- 2 fries shy of a happy meal, Jul 20 2007


Must be in government.
Filed in triplicate and all that.
-- 2 fries shy of a happy meal, Jul 21 2007


Spartacus is the Autoboner.
-- xandram, Jul 21 2007


Hmmm. Teeny tiny orchids would be great but larger varieties would get pretty weighty. Maybe some kind of wire should be wrapped around the head to hold the comb in place. If you put the orchid on an elastic sweatband you could also jog in it. The wire would only be for reinforcement or extra pizazz.
-- JackFLTrds, Jul 21 2007


what [batou] said [+]
-- pertinax, Jul 22 2007


I just can't believe anyone would bone such a lovely idea! Each to his bone.
-- xandram, Jul 22 2007


[DrBob] The Ikebana Epiphytic Orchid Fascinator is truly a fascinating product. When combined with the BuggyWhip it will provide years of elegant, bug-free enjoyment, changing and growing with the seasons and availability of bugs.
-- minoradjustments, Jan 12 2024


//years of elegant, bug-free enjoyment,//

At a family wedding I was sat ~2 rows behind some distant family member who'd decided that an elaborate fascinator complete with fake butterflies on invisible wires was the ideal head gear for the day. My cousin slinked out of the seat next to me and disappeared, only to return 5 mins later with a child-sized net. The photographer couldn't resist catching a suited man totally focused on capturing a fake butterfly with a child's net.
-- bs0u0155, Jan 12 2024



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