Vehicle: Airplane: Adventure
Intake Risk Shifter   (+2, -2)  [vote for, against]
Protect the intakes of jet engines with a fearsome guardian

Birds can damage a jet engine, which i imagine is due to chunks of flesh and bone impacting with the speedily rotating blades of the turbine. I guess a smattering of frikkassée will not disturb the workings of the machine.

I therefore propose high explosive to be placed on a stilt sitting on the axis, pointing forward. The rim of the turbine has sensors in it that will detect anything massive coming towards it. As the bird passes the explosive, it is blown to innoffending pieces (Most of which might even be dispersed so far they won't reach the intake anymore)

Having the stilt break off and be sucked into the engine would make quite a magnificient end, too.
-- loonquawl, Feb 25 2009

Birds of pray
[pocmloc, May 30 2011]

This, obviously http://ryan.delariv...Bird_of_Prey_01.jpg
bird of prey [Voice, Jun 01 2011]

This is a job for lasers.
-- phoenix, Feb 25 2009

Lasers were my first choice too, but to really pack a punch, lasers have to be mounted on sharks. Those, on the other hand, are not easily mounted on jet engines.
-- loonquawl, Feb 25 2009

This would inevitably lead to complaints from the bird kindness union, and the substitution of diversion and containment systems.

High speed reactive waldos would grab and feed interlopers to cages mounted on the wings.

Of course, to offset the increased fuel costs the airlines would divert these inside, and for an extra fee pluck, cook, and serve.

Hell, it's an idea all in itself.
-- normzone, Feb 25 2009

sharks, sharks with frikkin lasers. One MILLION DOLLARS.
-- WcW, Feb 25 2009

On the other hand why not have the hyperactive kids play a digitized version of Centipede and actually gun down the fowl at a distance. Planetigoose.
-- WcW, Feb 25 2009

[WcW] This would lead to airlines trying to maximise on hyperactive kids, so i can't support that.
-- loonquawl, Apr 21 2009

Birds can damage a jet engine

not half as much as a jet engine,can damage a bird! paint an oversized bird of pray on the wing above the engine, and the birds will try to stay clear.
-- j paul, May 30 2011

// bird of pray //

Like an angel or something ?

[+] for highly dangerous and ill-considered employment of high explosives.
-- 8th of 7, May 30 2011

No, not like an angel at all! <link>
-- pocmloc, May 30 2011

One of those in your turbofan is going to be waaaay worse than a goose ....
-- 8th of 7, May 30 2011

random, halfbakery