Culture: Language: Gesture
International Pub Sign Language   (+29)  [vote for, against]
I'd like a pint of guinness, two diet cokes and a slow screw against the wall...

...and all without saying a word.

You can picture the scene. It's a Friday or Saturday night, the bar is three deep and you can hardly make yourself heard.

"I'll have a pint of guinness."
"Do you want ice in that?"
"Down the hall first on the left."
[Points at tap.]
"Oh. Guinness."

If we developed a simple sign language for different generic drinks then, working with drinks manufacturers to get them on board, specific brands, you could walk into a noisy bar and, clearly enunciating with your fingers, accurately order the beverage of your choice.

More you the point, you could do it quite stylishly. In a quiet bar you could show your Pub Sign Language prowess (and multi-tasking ability) by chatting to the barman about the game while ordering your drinks.
-- st3f, Jan 12 2006

something similar? [po, Jan 12 2006]

define: slow screw

+1 excellent idea
-- po, Jan 12 2006

Sticks two fingers in the air at barman.

Promptly gets removed from pub by doormen.

"I only wanted a cider"
-- skinflaps, Jan 12 2006

Oh yes, the world needs this.

Of course it would have to cover bar snacks as well - imagine the carnage if there was confusion between a packet of Scampi Fries and a packet of dry-roasted peanuts.
-- salachair, Jan 12 2006

Simply brilliant.

I ordered a Harvey Wall banger. Not a Slow Screw against the Wall. The signs are so simular!
-- Flux, Jan 12 2006

A girl walks into a bar and asks the bar man for a double entendre. So he gives her one. (+)
-- neilp, Jan 12 2006

It is often my misfortune that the music stops and things get quiet whem I am ordering a slow comfortable screw. bun.
-- DVineMissEva, Jan 12 2006

Isn't the two-fingers-down-the-throat gesture already the international sign language for "I'll have a jug of the cheapest lager on the premises please"?
-- DrBob, Jan 12 2006

Didn't a Baileys ad try this with a woman in a tight dress fondling herself?
-- squeak, Jan 12 2006

I've done this regularly using hand signals for letters: two fingers + both hands together at wrist pointing up and out (in a 'V') + one hand with fingers together, cupped with an opposable thumb (in a 'c' shape) follwed by a horizontal stroke and then a clenched fist.

Double vodka and coke, no ice.

Effective - but not as good as the Baileys ad.
-- Jinbish, Jan 12 2006

Love it!
-- Ponies for Parties, Jan 12 2006

(jumps up and down)

"Oh, you want that shaken, not stirred".
-- normzone, Jan 12 2006

They did this in a Rolling Rock commercial. As a bartender I still have to give it a +, because I can't hear a damn thing people say half the time.

As an added bonus you would have to know what you want before I ask you. Nothing is worse than a customer staring you down with impatient looks, and then when you finally ask them what they would like, they have to think about it- as if they had nothing else to do in the two minutes they stood waiting for you. (Customer: "Uhhhhh..... What *do* I want.... huh...... What do you make good???..... Ummm...I guess I want something sweet but not to sweet.... No, not that, I don't really like shots.... Uhhhh..."

As long as there will be no symbol for Frozen drinks, I'm gonna try to bake this at my bar.
-- Pac-man, Feb 02 2006

Why not incorporate pictures of the hand symbols into the bar decor? Beer and liquor makers already distribute promotional signage to their vendors. The patrons could practice together before ordering, a great ice breaker. It could even be expanded to a theme concept for a pub with names like "The Silent Server" or "Deaf Drafts." I'm holding up four fingers and I want a Fosters!
-- Cube, Feb 03 2006

Post some photos would you [Pac-man]?
-- wagster, Feb 03 2006

Yes I will. I'm gonna ask the person who actually wants the drink to come up with the sign. This won't be an easy task, because the bar I work at is at a resort, so I see my "regulars" only 4 or 5 times (at the most) per year. Still though I will post some picture of my patrons with drink in one hand and bar sign in the other. Maybe we will get this ball rolling.
-- Pac-man, Feb 03 2006

I agree with DVineMissEva because I have been embarassed MANY times trying to order something embarassing right when the room gets quiet. "Yes waiter, make it a light beer because guiness MAKES ME FART REALLY BAD" and then the next thing I know everyone is looking at me.
-- Jscotty, Feb 04 2006

Everybody knows what your talking about when you place a pinched thumb and forefinger up against puffed lips and inhale with your eyes closed. Should bars in Amsterdam devise another set of hand signals to order other controlled substances?
-- Cube, Feb 04 2006

random, halfbakery