Food: Farming: Water
Irrigate me to the corn   (+3, -3)  [vote for, against]
Humans are useless bags of water

We can feed dead humans to the lions [link]. Kudos to the lions.

Some people suggest using dead human biomass as a renewable energy source [see comments in that lion-link]. This is stupid, as you need a solar drying system to get all that water our first. Else you don't generate energy, you lose it. My solution to humans: use them fresh, immediately after their death, as a source to irrigate crops.

Design dead water-bag transporting mechanism on tractor. Put dead body water-bag on rack. Cut small holes in dead water bag. Let tractor roll across the field. Let blood (i.e. dead water) drip on the soil beneath or next to the crop.

Dead human water (i.e. blood) contains many minerals and proteins which micro-organisms in the soil will definitely like and turn into energy for crops.

This is the real solution to humans.
-- django, Mar 07 2011

Feed me to the lions feed_20me_20to_20th...when_20I_27m_20dead
This is not a solution for humans. This is a solution for lions only. [django, Mar 07 2011]

Church of Euthanasia http://www.churchofeuthanasia.org/
[JesusHChrist, Mar 08 2011]

youtube: fly me to the moon by sinatra http://www.youtube....watch?v=5C5twY6f-rU
good quality, and my death preference [rcarty, Mar 11 2011]

If you put the bodies through a shredder you could mulch at the same time. After corpse-spreading, the place would stink like a battlefield. Over time, teeth would start to build up.

Ravens would do well, though.
-- Loris, Mar 07 2011


I think that for reasons of disease this would be a bad idea.
-- RayfordSteele, Mar 07 2011


You would be ecstatic reading Hebert's Dune series, I think.

I'd like to be buried in a field of wheat, if we're gonna be honest, here. Some poem in a box I have says so.
-- Zimmy, Mar 08 2011


Mmmm, mmm. Corpse fed corn. Now that's good eatin'.
-- doctorremulac3, Mar 10 2011


Mark my words, someday that private's going to make kernel.
-- 2 fries shy of a happy meal, Mar 10 2011


The nutrients in a corpse have value, but there is only about 1 or 2 cents worth of water per corpse, at domestic supply prices. As irrigation water, the value is even less.
-- spidermother, Mar 10 2011


On the other hand cremating or burying a corpse has a significant cost. Even if you don't bother with the presentation case, theres a lot of burning or digging labour to be done.

On the gripping hand lion faeces have value; you can buy them from zoos to scare cats out of your garden.
People might be a bit reluctant to use them for that purpose when there might be human remnants in it, though.
-- Loris, Mar 10 2011


//when there might be human remnants in it//

This could also scare Jehova's Witnesses, door-to-door salesman and house robbers away, too.
-- MikeD, Mar 10 2011


You'd get a more even spread by using a wood chipper, Fargo style.
-- DrBob, Mar 10 2011



random, halfbakery