Fashion: Hat: Shape
Janitor Hat Designed To Anger People Who Take Hats Seriously   (+7)  [vote for, against]
Civilization is built on two pillars: agriculture and hats that denote authority.

This would be the first stage in my proposed revolution, the second stage being my losing interest which is actually happening now as I type, but I'll attempt to finish.

Give janitors the below linked hat. Instead of a skull with wings I'd propose a crossed broom and mop, but leave the wings.

People would see a person in a position of not authority wearing a hat of authority and do something. Maybe get upset, maybe you'd see a news story, certainly some would say "What's with these weird fascist janitor hats? Are we in danger?"

This would be a thing that may or may not cause stuff to happen.
-- doctorremulac3, Oct 16 2018

Janitor Hat https://vignette.wi...t?cb=20171205193610
[doctorremulac3, Oct 16 2018]

Baked! https://s3-eu-west-...29/main/4/79007.jpg
[doctorremulac3, Oct 16 2018]

Not a baked hat https://www.youtube...watch?v=nhc1iSr_52w
Although I looked for a baked hat, I found baked beans in a party hat. He pronounces it potty, but that's what he meant. [pashute, Oct 18 2018]

You wanted a baked hat? https://www.google....arch?q=bread+helmet
[notexactly, Nov 07 2018]

By the way, it's good to be back. Hello everybody and please excuse my exuberance and goofyness but I really love this place. Please move on to the more serious posts. This was just a test to see if my fingers still worked.
-- doctorremulac3, Oct 16 2018


+/-
-- Voice, Oct 16 2018


I can see this quickly leading to the phrase "all hat, no broom."
-- RayfordSteele, Oct 16 2018


New fad sweeps the nation.
-- AusCan531, Oct 16 2018


I would, personally, like to go further than this. I'd like to see the complexity and elaboratenessness of uniforms be in inverse proportion to social status, across the board. Rough- sleepers would be given free uniforms with colossal hats and multi-tiered epaulettes. Generals, presidents and popes would go stark bollock naked.
-- MaxwellBuchanan, Oct 17 2018


No, no one needs to see that. A bag of cheetos is more appealing.
-- RayfordSteele, Oct 17 2018


//I would, personally, like to go further than this. I'd like to see the complexity and elaboratenessness of uniforms be in inverse proportion to social status, across the board.//

There's a bit of that here in Silicon Valley. The billionaire CEOs of Google, Facebook, Apple etc NEVER, and I mean NEVER wear a suit and tie. Started by Steve Jobs I believe, the statement is "I'm a billionaire, I wear what's comfortable and don't care what you think. I'm wearing loafers when I get into the limo taking me to my private jet so you can enjoy your expensive suit on your way to fly first class along with all the other cattle."

It's a weird kind of reverse (or not reverse) snobbery. Steve Jobs himself lived down the street from my parents, in the decidedly more expensive side of town, but it was just a well off man's large beautiful house, not an ostentatious manor like he could have easily afforded.

If you want to see self appointed royalty, you'll have to go to Hollywood down south. Those houses are jaw dropping palaces and they act the part.
-- doctorremulac3, Oct 17 2018


Incidentally, I've always posited that the suit was not so much for decoration as for primary physical dominance trait indicator equalization of men to allow easier business negotiation without distraction.

When men do business, there's a primitive part of them that compares physical traits of dominance. Height, musculature etc.

The suit obscures several parts of the body equalizing the parties so they can get down to business without being distracted by primitive instincts to associate dominance with physical characteristics. These parts of the body that are obscured are:

1- Neck. A skinny neck indicates low musculature and weakness. This is why we have a tie, to cover the neck with a high collar cinched with an adjustable knot.

2- Belly. A pot belly compared to a flat washboard ab belly points to age and weakness. Suits hang such that the belly, flat or bulging is largely covered up.

3- Lower body. Loose pants cover large leg muscles and other parts whose size may be judged larger or smaller by comparison. Use your imagination. Or don't. Don't is probably better.

4- Arms and shoulders. These are probably the biggest indicators of who would win in a physical fight and they are, again, covered and obscured, even so much as having fake muscles added to the most important part, the shoulders in the form of shoulder pads.

5- Finally, height. You can wear shoes with heels up to 1.5 inches thick. Just a few inches can make the difference between two males being distracted by primary dominance characteristics or getting down to business unhindered by such distractions.
-- doctorremulac3, Oct 17 2018


You don't think that suits represent career length potential in a price range ... subsets ... accessorized or not ... ?
-- reensure, Oct 17 2018


// shoes with heels up to 1.5 inches thick //

What about 10cm stiletto heels ... ?
-- 8th of 7, Oct 17 2018


I think the new way is showing how much you can get away with at a board meeting without impacting your company's stock price. If you can wear a loin cloth while chewing on raw meat without people saying anything your CEO game is strong.

Assuming you're talking about a guy, in this political climate I'm not going to criticize.

That's another thing about Silicon Valley. We might not have invented political correctness but we suuuure enforce it.

Uh... and as worker in Silicon Valley, I for one welcome our new high tech thought police and digital overlords and could be of great assistance in rounding up wrong thinkers and negative Nellys that are an impediment to the revolution!

(Phew, that was close.)
-- doctorremulac3, Oct 17 2018


//1- Neck. A skinny neck indicates low musculature and weakness. This is why we have a tie, to cover the neck with a high collar cinched with an adjustable knot.//

I thought that neck ties were invented by folks who only liked to bathe like twice a year to keep body odors trapped. I'm pretty sure it was the same folks that invented perfume...
-- 2 fries shy of a happy meal, Oct 18 2018


I was worried at first that this discussion was a monolog. Glad to see y'all back!

The fact that the hat exists is not even half of this great idea which is mostly about a possible bloodless revolution, and about giving.
-- pashute, Oct 18 2018


LOL! The video is worth watching for the introduction alone.

Hey Pash, good to see you again.
-- doctorremulac3, Oct 18 2018


// I thought that neck ties were invented by folks who only liked to bathe like twice a year to keep body odors trapped. I'm pretty sure it was the same folks that invented perfume...//

You are very close. The people of Croatia claim to have invented the neck tie, along with the fountain pen, but could they not be trying to keep perfumes from Venice trapped in the system?

It begs the question what Trump is trying to keep trapped in his hat. The hair is the obvious answer, but he may be losing brain waves too.
-- 4and20, Oct 18 2018


What does this say about those ridiculous hats that shriners wear?
-- RayfordSteele, Nov 08 2018


The correct answer, if anyone's interested, is that the suit and the tie convey almost opposite messages.

The suit says "Never mind what I look like; let's get down to business". It is supposed to convey the puritanical virtues of the high-Victorian English businessman.

The tie says "Check this out; I probably stole it (while serving as a marauding mercenary Hrvatski light cavalryman): what are you going to do about it?"

IIRC, one of the more notorious woodcuts from the 30-years' war bore the caption "Croats eat children", so stealing scraps of colourful silk was quite endearing by comparison.
-- pertinax, Nov 18 2018



random, halfbakery