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Business: Music
Joyful Noise Crane   (+11, -5)  [vote for, against]
Joystick + Crane + You + CD = Entertainment

Put Money in Slot
Sign release form
Step into cage
Strap on Hoist Jacket
Take hold of hydraulic joystick controller
Watch/squirm as Crane Claw you are controlling with joystick maneuvers towards you
Crane Claw locks on genitals
Scream
Release Crane Claw
Crane Claw makes lock with Hoist Jacket
Airbone
While airborne , notice as you wobble your way towards selection rack, the jukebox has grabbed CD which was selected by previous player (such as your elf and was playing selection which has now finished - all the while you've been airborne) from player and replaced it in appropriate, clearly marked spot.
Pick new CD
wobble
Put new CD in Player slot.
Press Play*
*By default - Press Play not only plays CD, but also releases the airborne participant to a chute and the participant emerges clutching a dime-a-dozen troll of some description.
-- thumbwax, Jul 29 2002

Inspiration http://www.halfbake...rabber_22_20Jukebox
[sctld] [thumbwax, Jul 29 2002, last modified Oct 05 2004]

Sounds kinky.
-- polartomato, Jul 29 2002


so with a bit of practice this thing might actually leave your genitals alone? hopefully.

shirley, you get dumped down a little chute at the end clutching a teddy bear prize.
-- po, Jul 29 2002


Modified last paragraph - teddy bears are too expensive though
-- thumbwax, Jul 29 2002


Airborne - brings to mind a new birthing method with the pregnant mother jumping from the crane with a bungee cord attached to her upper back.
-- FarmerJohn, Jul 29 2002


what music would accompany that? Farmer.
-- po, Jul 29 2002


po: Well maybe "Rock-a-bye Baby" would be fitting as the newborn bounces on its own bungee, navel cord.
-- FarmerJohn, Jul 29 2002


there would be absolutely no need to slap the baby's back then.
-- po, Jul 29 2002


Why does it sound painful, bliss?
-- thumbwax, Jul 29 2002


And you would want to do this WHY?
-- Aurora, Jul 30 2002


how can you ask such a dumb question?
-- po, Jul 30 2002


Really easily... I just type it. See?
-- Aurora, Jul 30 2002


bilssmiss - she was calling me dumb dear, not a dump.
-- Aurora, Jul 30 2002


just the question that was dumb - its what we in the business of "light relief inc." call FUN!
-- po, Jul 30 2002


Um... so (po) does that mean you want one of these claws to the genitals?

And thanks for the clarification. I was starting to get a complex.
-- Aurora, Jul 30 2002


I refer you to my first anno.

"so with a bit of practice...."
-- po, Jul 30 2002


Actually, shipmate, events 7-9 are of the accidently optional variety. I don't understand the negative votes - by default, I'll attribute those to trolls/Autoboner/ignorant mofo's.
-- thumbwax, Jul 31 2002


Some clarification needed: you're operating the remote control for the claw, trying to pick yourself up, pick your CD, plop it down into the player, and drop yourself down a chute instead of one of those stuffed animals, right?
-- RayfordSteele, Aug 01 2002


I believe you are one who enjoys to blatantly harrass machinery with crude remarks and slang of tongue.

glory give me a doll.
-- rubyissues, Aug 01 2002


Rayford - Yes to what you stated - only clarification would be that once CD is in the slot, the Crane automatically takes over and does the dirty deed. This is a preventative measure - releasing ones elf at an inappropriate angle or height might be disastrous. Motion detector activates the troll-drop-into-elf's-hands.
-- thumbwax, Aug 01 2002


sex
-- josejay, Nov 21 2003


why am I getting the picture of a genital controled jukebox?

must be said though,I am still in stitches at the thought thumbwax
-- Loft Nuthouse, Feb 19 2004



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