Science: Health: Memory
Kato Memory Helper   (0)  [vote for, against]
Not now, whats-yer-name!

I subscribe to the theory that you use your mind, or lose it. The more I try to do with my brain, the better my ability becomes. Actually, that's not strictly true. The more I use my mind, the more slowly my ability deteriorates.

The Kato Memory Helper (a lithe and menacing looking chap) would ensure that my mind stayed on its toes. Based on Inspector Clouseau's manservant, who kept him physically alert by jumping out and attacking him physically, the Kato Memory Helper would jump out at utterly inconvenient moments, and make sure you were firing on all of your mental cylinders.

Picture yourself at a party. You've been nodding away while listening to a stranger's particularly dull anecdote. Suddenly, Kato would jump out and confront you. "You have no idea of this woman's name, do you? What is it? Also, what is the square root of 961?"

Imagine your relief as you shout the answer within 4 seconds, and avoid the embarrassing clout on the back of the head which Kato dishes out for each of your incorrect answers. With a courteous and slightly bizarre bow, and leave the room destined to crash back into your life to test your mental agility at some undisclosed future point.

In fact, he'd be slipping off into the night to pose his next question to one of his other 100 employers, each paying a small monthly fee, aggregating to a good living for our heroic Memory Helper.
-- Fishrat, Nov 15 2003

Inspector Clouseau
I suggest you count your bees, you may find that one of them is missing. [Fishrat, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 21 2004]

Strangely enough, a search for "Not now, Kato"... http://www.halfbake.../idea/Mockassassins
All roads lead to the 'bakery. Apparently [half, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 05 2004]

I do this with my older daughter every morning to make sure she's awake before I head downstairs.
Me:"Honey, time to wake up."
Me:"What's 17 times 22?"
She:"I have no idea."
Me:"Okay. I'll see you downstairs in a sec."
-- phoenix, Nov 15 2003

Whats your favorite color? quickly now.

blue, no wait, r- AAAAAAH!
-- HalfwayHebrew, Nov 15 2003

You have a daughter that's older than you, [phoenix]?
-- benjamin, Nov 15 2003

No, I have two daughters and one of them is older than the other. Oddly enough, the other one is younger than the first.
-- phoenix, Nov 16 2003

Ah, so you meant your eldest daughter.
I appear to be wearing my pedantic hat today.
-- benjamin, Nov 16 2003

kato: Older or eldest?
[phoenix]: erm...
kato: He-arghahahuuurh! <lunge>
-- Fishrat, Nov 16 2003

Expected a device that would help you remember the names of obscure footnote people in news stories.
-- waugsqueke, Nov 16 2003

I like the idea. It's very good.. It prepares you for the upcoming things. There can be programmed to do such things before you meet a person, it will put all the information about that person or that type of person in computer and you are almost ready. Then use your common sense to go further..
-- artist, Nov 16 2003

Oddly enough, my dog is named Kato. He's very good at reminding me to do things as well...mainly feed him, and take him outside before he craps on the rug.
-- Overpanic, Nov 16 2003

"You have no idea of this woman's name, do you? What is it?"

That could really come up at inconvenient times.
-- Detly, Nov 16 2003

[Overpanic] Somehow the idea of my dog crapping on the rug would be some much nicer if I knew that it was presenting an opportunity for me to shout "Not Now, Kato!"
-- Fishrat, Nov 17 2003

Kato: "Name an oriental stereotype depicting a combination of martial arts and peculiar behaviour in a cinematic context NOW!"
-- dobtabulous, Nov 17 2003

I'm becoming increasingly frustrated that [klaatu] hasn't posted anything on this idea, as I'm desperate to write "Not now, [klaatu]"
-- Fishrat, Nov 17 2003

not now, hippo - does not have the same ring about it.
-- po, Nov 17 2003

I could imagine getting some odd looks if Kato was your imaginary friend ...
-- Letsbuildafort, Nov 17 2003

If he was stealthy enough, your Kato could simply *appear* to be an imaginary Snuffleupagus.
-- Overpanic, Nov 17 2003

<ansaphone> Overpanic? It's Fishrat... I need to know which TV show Snuffleupagus came from... quick! Aaagh! Not now Ka...<line goes dead>
-- Fishrat, Nov 18 2003

Sunny day,sweeping the
Clouds away. On my way
To where the air is sweet!
Can you tell me how to get,
How to get to...

-- Overpanic, Nov 18 2003

I imagine him appearing in the corner of the shop, as if by magic, like the shop keeper in the fabulous UK childrens' show, Mr Benn.
-- Fishrat, Nov 20 2003

[Fishrat]. Thanks for mentioning Mr Ben. I can now annoy everybody in the office (more than usual) by humming the theme-tune all day long and refusing to name the programme it came from (unless Kato appears and demands the answer).
-- dobtabulous, Nov 20 2003 states that eldest is merely an archaic form of oldest. Since phoenix only has two daughters, older would be the more appropriate adjective
-- dbsousa, Nov 20 2003

In the original statement:
// I do this with my older daughter //
There is one subject (I), one object (daughter), thus the comparative adjective older must compare the above subject and object.

Here's where I get way out of my depth as far as grammar goes, but I believe that using either eldest or oldest implies a possessive relationship, thus the object becomes {oldest daughter} rather than just {daughter}.

PS: Merriam-Webster is an "American English" resource, so its opinion can and should be discounted.
-- benjamin, Nov 20 2003

This reminds me of those 11+ IQ and logic tests:

[Phoenix]'s daughter is three years older than him, and her sister is half her age. Their dog was born when Phoenix was 31, and is 6 years younger than their pet snake. If Phoenix is 40, how old does this make the postman?
-- Fishrat, Nov 21 2003

-- dobtabulous, Nov 21 2003

[ravenswood] - Exactly. Either that, or it implies that Fred is a woman. I can cope with objects that are declared beforehand or at point of use, rather than some other object (the original, non-another woman) being declared later or not at all.
My logic might not be the most reliable method of parsing English.
-- benjamin, Nov 21 2003

[dobtab] 27, Quite right. My logic might not be the most reliable method of passing your 11 plus.
-- Fishrat, Nov 22 2003

random, halfbakery