Culture: Art: Sculpture
Knit the Worlds Biggest Jumper   (+7, -1)  [vote for, against]
The hard way!

Thinking up new presents to buy for your friends & family each year can be a traumatic exercise. As Christmas races towards us like a high speed train many of us, like an innocent young woman chained to the tracks, are helpless to save ourselves and when our cliché hero comes galloping to our rescue we are only too happy to leap into his baggy and oversized arms because, in this case, our bold rescuer is the Christmas woolly jumper.

In order to commemorate both the woolly jumper’s place in Christmas lore and the incredibly artificial and forced use of the speeding train simile above, I suggest that a project is undertaken to knit the world’s largest ever woolly jumper. A giant loom would also have to be constructed and the worlds biggest ever ball of wool would have to be assembled. A railway handcart travelling back and forth on a section of moveable track should be used as the shuttle.

That’s it really.
-- DrBob, Dec 14 2009

Giant Jersey http://images.trave...78340.12_jumper.jpg
Found in a peat bog,circa 4 million years ago. [skinflaps, Dec 14 2009]

Flying shuttle http://www.wallpape...pace_shuttle_13.jpg
[normzone, Dec 14 2009]

Looms are used for weaving. Knitting is done with knitting needles.
-- prufrax, Dec 14 2009

knit picker!
-- po, Dec 14 2009

If it is a woven cloth being produced, as implied by the description of loom and shuttle (as opposed to a knitted jumper which requires only needles as [pf] pointed out above), then the shuttle has to be free-floating so as to travel over and under adjacent threads, so I don't think railway tracks would work. Hence industrial looms using a flying shuttle.
-- pocmloc, Dec 14 2009

[skinflaps], how can you be sure that's not just a very small person?
-- pocmloc, Dec 14 2009

Very Alice In Wonderland-ish. And warm as well. Great visuals. As for the actual non-idea, a raving + for the well worded leap of consciousness.
-- blissmiss, Dec 14 2009

Yep, that would work much better [normzone]. Plenty of space in the big brown bit for the reel of yarn.
-- pocmloc, Dec 14 2009

random, halfbakery