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Science: Health: Deep Vein Thrombosis
Littlest Library Lectern   (+3, -2)  [vote for, against]
The Privvy Pantograph

Reading for more than a few minutes while on the toilet usually involves the elbows placed just above the knees, supporting much of the weight of one's upper body. This position leads to 'dead legs' quite quickly and, for pasty skinned Anglos, two red splotches which persist for some time. The bent forward position is also not the best for defecating and places unhealthy pressure on lungs, liver and heart.

I propose the fabrication of a pantograph which fits flat (when folded in) behind the toilet door, at about chest height when seated. Attached to the pantograph is one of those metal frame lecterns that concert musicians use. Extra arms are available that swing out to a span suitable for a tabloid newspaper (one does not read 'The Times' in the toilet).

Books and c. can then be read with the back straight and circulation and peristalsis uninhibited.
-- ConsulFlaminicus, May 15 2004

Never heard the word pantograph before. http://www.cim.mcgi...res/Pantograph.html
[2 fries shy of a happy meal, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 05 2004]

Something more like this, perhaps... http://www.sandman....ges/oldbracket2.jpg
But not exactly a pantograph [ldischler, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 05 2004]

If anybody gives Consul a crappie for this...
-- thumbwax, May 15 2004

This produces an unfortunate mental image of a TV tray joined to a toilet—the Homer Simpson dining chair.
-- ldischler, May 15 2004

That's a lovely link [2 fries] but unfortunately those pantographs bear no resemblance to my proposed pantographs.
-- ConsulFlaminicus, May 15 2004

I was having a hard time picturing how this would mount...I guess I still am.
-- 2 fries shy of a happy meal, May 15 2004

Aircraft chairs that face a bulkhead have trays that pull out of the armrest. Perhaps your toilet could have armrests (a marvelous advance in itself) and those neat trays.
-- ldischler, May 15 2004

[2fries] It's like this, from the back of the door;

-- ConsulFlaminicus, May 15 2004

A heroically concise description, but not a pantograph.
-- ldischler, May 15 2004

It might be better to have it attach to the wall somehow. If, say, your library also contains the shower, sink and bath, and thus your door is a couple of feet away.
-- Detly, May 15 2004

Great idea! I think I will install one of these. Except my privvy lecturn will have an embedded tablet computer, wirelessly connected for surfing while on the throne.
-- booleanfool, May 15 2004

Why wireless? If you're really gung ho, you'll show your support by wiring your throne with cat6.
-- bristolz, May 15 2004

Good point. The throne needs the fattest pipe possible.
-- booleanfool, May 15 2004

Perhaps it should be "The Littlest Lavatory Lectern." I see no reason to limit this to library restrooms.
-- nick_n_uit, May 17 2004

The 'little library' is one of many antipodean slang references for the home toilet. This idea is for the home toilet.

"Where's dad?" "He's in the little library"

Of course, as the McMansion spreads across our suburbs, separate toilet rooms are being replaced with large ablution rooms incorporating bath /spa shower, toilet, washbasin, bidet, orgy couch etc. so the future market for this is rapidly eroding.
-- ConsulFlaminicus, May 17 2004

Nice one, welcome to the bakery. (WTAGIPBAN)
-- krelnik, May 20 2004

Considering the nature of your privvy reading material, no wonder you're so hot for a hands-free device. Just kidding.
-- igirl, Jun 23 2004

random, halfbakery