A motorized rotating drum, surfaced in "chalk board" material, on which those with long fingernails can blunt their talons while annoying those around them.

A typical model could consist of a horizontal rotating drum, mounted on a pedestal at armrest height. One could then sit in her armchair, raise her feet up, play some Bach through headphones, and relax as she gives herself a manicure that sets all around her on edge. As a bonus, the other hand is left free to hold a cup of tea, or a gun with which to defend herself from enraged neighbors.
-- Guncrazy, Nov 20 2001

Just thinking about this makes my teeth hurt.
-- bristolz, Nov 20 2001


Is there a china plate version for fork prongs that are too long?
-- angel, Nov 20 2001


"Ve haff vays to make you talk..."
-- phoenix, Nov 20 2001


To comply with HalfBakery engineering principles, the rotating drum should be clockwork-powered.
-- hippo, Nov 20 2001


{{{{{{shudder runs down spine}}}}}}

This is just cruel, Guncrazy. Cruel.
-- Guy Fox, Nov 20 2001


I have a feeling this wouldn't be as annoying as the real thing - something about the complex control required to just barely overcome friction - but I've no intention of testing the hypothesis.

I believe the noise is made by principles similar to a violin bow, where the sliding thing catches and releases hundreds of times a second.
-- pottedstu, Nov 21 2001



random, halfbakery