Product: Cutlery
Lovecraftian Table Settings   (+12)  [vote for, against]
Fhtagn! Shub-Niggurath! The Black Goat of the Woods with a Thousand Young!

At the very center of the table lies Azathoth, The Nuclear Chaos, the Demon Sultan. Horrible tentacles radiate from this writhing mass and grip the sides of the revolving Lazy Susan that it rests on.

Cthulhu himself rests next to Azathoth. Ph'nglui! The god-priest sits on his vast stone throne, gripping a great basin in his evil claws. Anyone who lays their eyes on this eldritch water jug skirts the grip of madness.

Yog-Sothoth himself serves as plate and saucer for the screaming diners. Every bite of food eaten off his gleaming skin increases their desperate blubbering.

Nyarlathotep has taken the form of man, and his arms extend far above his grinning face. Use them as tongs at your own risk--for you may never escape his grasp once you are within his reach.

The Deep Ones fill with your drink. Will you raise your lips to them? The Elder Things, with their freakish five-pointed heads, lie in different positions for you to skewer, slice, and scoop your food using their shriveled bodies. The Mi-Go, ghastly fungoid intruders from the planet of Yuggoth, dispense salt and pepper.

Pass the Shoggoth!
-- DrWorm, Sep 25 2009

dagonbytes http://www.dagonbyt...elibrary/lovecraft/
The Lovecraft Mythos [8th of 7, Sep 26 2009]

H.P.Lovecraft http://en.wikipedia.../wiki/H.P.Lovecraft
Biography [8th of 7, Sep 26 2009]

Eldritch Baseball Eldritch_20Baseball
F***n' Ftagn! [bungston, Sep 29 2009]

Fiction by yours truly http://www.beerhall...s/Bungston/one.html
It takes a while to get to the shoggothy bits. [bungston, Sep 29 2009]

The Gastronome Codex The_20Gastronome_20Codex
Perfect accompaniment. [DrBob, Oct 01 2009]

Pah! A writer of adolescent piffle.
-- MaxwellBuchanan, Sep 25 2009

(Howie Lovecraft, that is, not Dr.W.)
-- MaxwellBuchanan, Sep 25 2009

As a great fan of the Mythos, I must object, [Maxwell].
-- DrWorm, Sep 25 2009

Well, fair enough. I don't see it myself. Anyone who can seriously say "We live on a placid island of ignorance in the midst of black seas of infinity, and it was not meant that we should voyage far." is not in my good books, frankly.

He always struck me as the sort of thing you'd get if you crossed an angstish goth with a rural vicar.
-- MaxwellBuchanan, Sep 25 2009

//the sort of thing you'd get if you crossed an angstish goth with a rural vicar.//

Wait; I can feel an eldritch Ealing Comedy coming on.
-- pertinax, Sep 26 2009

..... the whole grim scene being illuminated by the eerie , purplish light emanating from the "Shining Trapezohedron" low energy light fitting ....

-- 8th of 7, Sep 26 2009

Is this anything to do with 'World of Warcraft'?
As a 4 year wow vet, I have no idea what you are talking about!
-- MikeOliver, Sep 26 2009

-- 8th of 7, Sep 26 2009

//a 4 year wow vet//

So that's where you've been. Are you in rehab now?
-- pertinax, Sep 26 2009

Yeah, cravings occasionally return, but I have been 'clean' 3 months now!
-- MikeOliver, Sep 26 2009

Is this the dinner service used at Miskatonic University faculty convivia ? If so, it should include a sprayer (of chased silver) suitable for dispensing the Powder of Ibn Ghazi.
-- 8th of 7, Sep 29 2009

But of course. The main course is devolved human quadruped flesh (a la "The Rats in the Walls"). After dinner we will be enjoying a thematic reading of the Necronomicon by none other than William Shatner himself.
-- DrWorm, Sep 29 2009

You know those devolved human quadrupeds must have been super tasty, because goats would have been a lot less trouble.
-- bungston, Sep 29 2009

//Wait; I can feel an eldritch Ealing Comedy coming on.//

'Oh, Mr Cthulhu!' perhaps?
-- DrBob, Oct 01 2009

// none other than William Shatner himself //

"The Horror, The Horror........"
-- 8th of 7, Oct 02 2009

There was a book, "Samurai Cat", that I found amusing. It mentioned a god called Thpaghetti-Thoth.
-- baconbrain, Nov 01 2010

That book sounds really interesting after a cursory google—I'll have to check it out. It's just that the title reminds me a bit too much of the dreaded Samurai Pizza Cats.
-- DrWorm, Nov 01 2010

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