Product: Decoy
Make everyone think you're a secret agent.   (+8, -6)  [vote for, against]
"You're forgeting one thing, Goldfinger."

A kit to fool people into thinking your life is cool. Comes with a tailored tuxedo for men, or a slinky red gown for women, a ten pack of folders labeled classified, and a suit case full of sophisticated-looking fake electronics and "important" documents for you to leave lying around in the open. Wait for someone to open the case, then sneak up behind them and slam it shut as they open it, telling them not to ask any questions for their own good.

Also comes with a handbook of handy tips for making people suspicious, like going on vaction and refusing to say where you went, arriving late to all events dressed in singed clothing, and ending every phone call with the phrase "As you wish, (two second pause) Mr. President."
-- notmarkflynn, Feb 27 2006

Halfbaked to a blackened crisp in this film http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0111503/
[DrCurry, Feb 27 2006]

Reverse Baked. http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/1697862.stm
All you need is a plane spotter's notebook and a Greek airport. [egbert, Feb 27 2006]

Rather horribly baked http://en.wikipedia...bert_Hendy-Freegard
[spinglespangle, Feb 27 2006]

This would be of no help to me - I spend my life trying to convince everyone that I'm not a secret agent.
-- normzone, Feb 27 2006


It should come with crazy purple knock-out gas.

Sorry, vague Family Guy reference.
-- DeliveranceRiverBoatCaptain, Feb 27 2006


Sorry. I'm so secret, I forgot who I was/am. (This reminds me of the "Turtle Ninja" era.)
-- blissmiss, Feb 27 2006


They're on to me...

...again.
-- 2 fries shy of a happy meal, Feb 27 2006


//Wait for someone to open the case, then sneak up behind them and slam it shut as they open it, telling them not to ask any questions for their own good.//

Or you could just leave it at a Tapas bar...
-- zen_tom, Feb 27 2006


Are you Red Squirrel?
-- wagster, Feb 27 2006


No, but I am looking for Grey Fox. The artichokes are in season early this year, no?
-- zen_tom, Feb 27 2006


How do you know about Grey Fox? No one knows about Grey Fox. I will eat your artichokes.
-- wagster, Feb 27 2006


"The name is Flynn. Not Mark Flynn."
-- coprocephalous, Feb 27 2006


Just run shady websites and travel back and forth between Massachusetts and London. That's enough for Neil Entwistle's relatives, apparently.

//Are you Red Squirrel?//

Shhh! Call me Secret Squirrel.
-- Shz, Feb 27 2006


You ain't seen me, right?
-- Jinbish, Feb 27 2006


The cabbages have landed in [xenzag]'s sling but the paper has jammed the pasta machine.
-- po, Feb 27 2006


[ub] No, no, no - you've got the touch the side of your nose when you say it, and say it with a Brummie accent..
Like this <touches nose><brummie accent> You ain't seen me, right? </ba></tn>
-- coprocephalous, Feb 27 2006


Sounds like one of the plot lines of True Lies, where a car salesman pretends to be a secret agent in order to bed bored housewives. So this is probably a "Wasn't it cure that thing I saw in a film?"
-- DrCurry, Feb 27 2006


Wait. Endless photos of daily life in New York; pathetic attempts at writing in code; Curry's been playing the game for years!
-- egbert, Feb 27 2006


I could bun this [notmarkflynn] ... but then I'd have to kill myself.
-- ConsulFlaminicus, Feb 27 2006


Yeah my friend said that True Lies thing, too. To be fair, I only saw the end of it, and I didn't like it. Come on, a harrier?

On a side note, we are missing our Grey Fox.
-- notmarkflynn, Feb 27 2006


But if everyone thought I was a secret agent, that could compromise my entire operation.
-- AbsintheWithoutLeave, Feb 27 2006


All vacations are like this: "I'm filling in."
-- reensure, Feb 27 2006


Baked, with rather hideous methods and consequences, in the UK (see link). How he did it I have no idea.
-- spinglespangle, Feb 27 2006


One wonders if some of his marks are still out there, diligently keeping their cover now that his is blown. It amazes me what people will believe, but I have always wondered how you would tell a real secret agent from a false one (ever since watching "Charade," actually).
-- DrCurry, Feb 27 2006


Well, if they are as conspicuous as described here, they are either a fake, or will be dead very soon.
-- Shz, Feb 27 2006


Have you ever wondered why you never see Dr. Curry and Dr. Bob in the same room?
-- notmarkflynn, Feb 27 2006


cos they're on different continents, twit!
-- po, Feb 27 2006


Seems awfully convenient to me [po], if that is your real name.
-- hidden truths, Feb 27 2006


no, I'm dipsy!
-- po, Feb 27 2006


The who, or what is La La?
<off-topic> Dipsy always struck me as sounding more like an effeminate member of the seven dwarfs than a teletubby.
-- hidden truths, Feb 27 2006


The name's Fox, DesertFox.

I may or may not know the whereabouts of the person who may or may not be called Grey Fox, who may or may not be the person that you may or may no be looking for.

Maybe.
-- DesertFox, Feb 28 2006


Pssst - don't look in the envelope!
-- DrCurry, Feb 28 2006


We can neither confirm nor deny the existence of the envelope...
-- neutrinos_shadow, Feb 28 2006


We neither confirm nor deny that we confirm nor deny the existance of the envelope.
-- DesertFox, Feb 28 2006



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