Home: Moat
Moat of Doom   (+3, -6)  [vote for, against]
Moat of Hell

A moat. A harmless thing? Protects you from anyone invading (though why anyone would want to invade ME is another question, I would've thought they'd be invading in another direction...), but could be a death trap if you wanted them to.

A moat which, instead of water, it has MOLTEN LAVA (for those who are lucky to get it on the cheap from local volcano dealers...), or, if molten lava is too expensive (I blame the inflated costs for evil geniuses. Ripoffs. When I take over the world, I'll get rid of the lot of 'em), then it would be boling water, covered by a metal plate, which you can't pass unless the drawbridge is brought down. The moat would keep running via thermo-electricity, or plain solar panels, and it will keep all opposing evil geniuses out, and your slaves in.

Mwah hah hah hah hah!

[edited later]: It doesn't have to be molten lava, it would be molten chocolate, or boiling oil (despite the fact it would probably get siphoned off by the government in years to come).

P.S. Happy Easter to everyone at the Halfbakery. I am now going to collapse into a coma because of sugar overload from too many Lindt chocolate bunnies, and choccie eggs.
-- froglet, Mar 26 2005

A'a http://volcano.und....ii//hazards/aa.html
Or ah ah! [DesertFox, Mar 27 2005]

http://fm.hisurf.co...ction=list&_start=1 pahoehoe looks smooth, and in hawaiian, means "satin" [DesertFox, Mar 27 2005]

lava moat Lava_20Moat
I'd fill my moat with nacho cheese, and have tortilla boats to float around in. [jaksplat, Mar 27 2005]

If the moat were really cold, that might keep people out too. Because when they went in it, they would get really cold, just like the moat water.
-- bungston, Mar 26 2005

To make this work with lava (going out on a limb here) you'd have to build your castle in a volcanically active area and somehow blast your way down into a magma chamber to fill the moat. Assuming this didn't trigger a huge volcanic explosion, living this close to the earth's raw power would be somewhat risky. Stick to the cheap option of keeping a huge moat with a large surface area constantly at boiling point.
-- wagster, Mar 26 2005

You write maniacal laughter? Who takes the time to write maniacal laughter? (The Ghost from Pratchett's "Maskerade", of course)
-- DesertFox, Mar 26 2005

What exactly is non-molten lava?
-- Basepair, Mar 27 2005

Limitless possibilities. A moat of happiness...filled with molten chocolate fudge. Or a moat of despair, with little speakers blasting the voice of Gilbert Gottfried. Or a moat of ecstacy...lined with black velvet and cushy pillows. All of these would slow down invaders, too.
-- natewill, Mar 27 2005

Anything igneous, I think, [Basepair]. Freshly cooled lava has a couple of different names depending on it's appearance. If it is glassy surfaced and ropey in structure the Hawaiians call it "pahoehoe" and if it's got a finely serrated surface with loads of razor sharp edges it's called " 'a'a ".
-- bristolz, Mar 27 2005

I read some place that a'a is called that because when walking over it, the people said Ahh! Ahh!.

My first link agrees with that.

pahoeohe means "satin" because pahoehoe looks smooth.
-- DesertFox, Mar 27 2005

Finally [froglet] reveals herself as a megalomaniac.

I think that would be Pahoihoi?
-- zeno, Mar 27 2005

I'd guess that's true, [Desert]. Phoneticism and all that.

I've spent a lot of time in Hawaii, [zeno], and I've only seen it as pahoehoe, including USGS references.
-- bristolz, Mar 27 2005

[zeno] I thought you had to be a megalomanic to be a part of the halfbakery. Coincidently, I've just finished reading Maskerade by Terry Pratchett.
-- froglet, Mar 27 2005

<I thought you had to be a megalomanic to be a part of the halfbakery.> That's right, welcome to the club.

[Bristolz], do you pronounce pahoehoe as pahoihoi? I was there for a month two years ago and did a day of hiking to get close to the lava. It was awsome. we threw copper coins onto the pahoehoe and pushed it in with a stick. After a while it would sprout green flames. The heat alone was an immense experience! We walked in places where you could not stand still or your shoes would melt. The lava river makes tunnels, the top cools off but underneath the lava keeps flowing. We crossed one of those rivers. The rush was great, look down and see red between the stones you walk on, the hairs were nearly fried of my legs.
-- zeno, Mar 27 2005

[zeno] Hey, that would make a great halfbaked idea - going close to lava to get rid of the hairs on your legs, the newest beauty treatment.
-- froglet, Mar 27 2005

random, halfbakery