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Business: Housekeeping
Mobile Transmogrifacator   (+10, -1)  [vote for, against]
Pressure and resin lamination technology to your doorstep

The Mobile Transmogrifacator combines several technologies, based on a large flatbed truck, to convert your non-perishable household rubbish into useful items.

The truck houses machines that can slice your unwanted furniture into thin layers, which are then pressure resin laminated into useful items of your choice (choose from our extensive catalogue of moulds prior to calling us).

Garden waste is chipped and pressed into heating briquettes.

That old can of sump oil is pressure filtered into a fresh bottle of lubricant you can use on your bicycle chain or garden tools.

Any old metal rubbish or furniture parts can be pressed into brick sized pieces and resin coated for safety and durability. Build that brick outhouse you've always wanted!

Your old newspapers are pulped, de-inked and formed into fresh sheets of card that have a thousand uses.

Best of all, our service to you is subsidised by City Hall, because they save money on rubbish collection and landfill contracts.
-- ConsulFlaminicus, Sep 10 2005

Similar idea, but not the same Elevator_20Doors_20...strial_20Revolution
[dentworth, Sep 10 2005]

Thermal depolymerisation http://encyclopedia...al_depolymerization
Extremely useful, turn biomass into oil. [fridge duck, Sep 10 2005]

I like it, sounds very useful if not magical +

another + for the pressed metal bricks.
-- dentworth, Sep 10 2005

it could be cool if it drove through your suburban streets - playing a delightful jingle - much like 'greensleeves' played over loud speakers of the ice cream truck. all the children in the neighbourhood would then rush to it carrying old pieces of crap to see what the transmogrification man can make with it.
-- benfrost, Sep 10 2005

green sleeves for an ice cream jingle?, perhaps in your bizarro world [benfrost]

ohohoh! The Candy Man for a jingle for the transmogrification trucks...perfect.
-- dentworth, Sep 10 2005

Dentworth, genuinely, all the ice cream trucks round here blast dodgy versions of greensleeves through knackered sound systems.
-- david_scothern, Sep 10 2005

Strikes me as a 'makeover' effort combined with an antique roadshow. "Pennies to washers -- while you wait"
-- reensure, Sep 10 2005

Would it carry a nuclear reactor for the conversion energy?
-- bristolz, Sep 10 2005

Alternatively, have rubbish collected as usual - and have most of it converted into fuel (see link).
-- fridge duck, Sep 10 2005

"Interesting smoked flavor. Is that mesquite I taste?"
"Probably poison ivy."
-- RayfordSteele, Sep 10 2005

ever since i was knee high ive always started salivating upon hearing 'greensleeves' - perhaps this explains my unnatural attraction to robin hood.
-- benfrost, Sep 11 2005

I am aghast. we had Mr. Softy, every summer for 20 years.
-- dentworth, Sep 11 2005

//Would it carry a nuclear reactor for the conversion energy?//

It could run it from enriched uranium extracted from common household garbage.
-- Detly, Sep 11 2005

Can't find any references to it - but I once came across a machine (well, a box, really) that took grass clippings in one end, compacted them down, and extruded a bench out of the other.
-- moomintroll, Sep 11 2005

random, halfbakery