Improve a motorcycle's exhaust note with the addition of a bagpipe. The exhaust is plumbed into the bagpipe bag, and escapes through one of several "drones" or a pipe-organ-like attachment with computer control of valves on key holes to simulate playing. Additional sound isolation panels around the engine and manifolds ensure that the primary exhaust note is that of the bagpipe. The speed and revs of the motorcycle determine which of several preselected bagpipe songs the computer plays. To maintain engine performance despite the restricted exhaust flow, a turbo-charger is fitted to the engine. An add-on option is a third blower fan attached to the turbo- charger (in addition to the typical intake and exhaust fans) running from the same shaft, so that at high revs this third fan blows large quantities of atmosphere air directly into the bagpipe bag, for extra loudness, intended to improve safety at highway speeds by making the motorcycle's presence clear to nearby vehicles. Loud pipes save lives.
-- sninctown, Sep 17 2020

Reversing Bagpipes Reversing Bagpipes
As long as there's a clear distinction in tone between moped bagpipe acoustics and these fine warning sounds, there should be no problem. [zen_tom, Sep 17 2020]

// Loud pipes save lives. //

Not yours. You're going to die for this, slowly and in excruciating pain. preferably something involving bagpipes.
-- 8th of 7, Sep 17 2020


<Braveheart voice> They may take away our lives, but they'll never take our freedom!
<plays bagpipes>
-- sninctown, Sep 17 2020


Your life will be entirely sufficient, in the circumstances; all that remains is to determine the exact means of demise.

Immolation atop a pyre of bagpipes is a favoured method, but others are under consideration.
-- 8th of 7, Sep 17 2020


Better to have a vehicle with a loud engine noise run through a CVT or even generator/electric motor drive train so that the constant engine note provides the drone. Then the suggested exhaust blower (or better a PTO turbine blower) could be used the play the tune.

I see no reason why the handlebars or steering apparatus should not be fitted with finger pads or sensors to allow the driver to play the tunes as they roar along.
-- pocmloc, Sep 17 2020


So, bagpipe pyre for two, then.
-- 8th of 7, Sep 17 2020


Doing anything with bagpipes that does not involve destroying them utterly is just plain wrong.

However..... [+]
-- whatrock, Sep 17 2020


We're going to need a bigger pyre ...
-- 8th of 7, Sep 17 2020


A much better idea would be for them to ride around a wall of death carrying an orchestra of rear facing passengers playing the bagpipes.....
-- xenzag, Sep 17 2020


Much, much bigger ... in fact, vast.
-- 8th of 7, Sep 17 2020


This is how you get tried for war crimes.
-- bs0u0155, Sep 17 2020


//This is how you get tried for war crimes// Oh come on, bagpipes are not that bad!
-- pocmloc, Sep 17 2020


"And with that admission, we submit that the case against [pocmloc] is proven beyond reasonable doubt, and request that Your Honour passes a sentence of immediate summary execution without the right of appeal".
-- 8th of 7, Sep 17 2020


Several genres; the question being "Since when do bagpipes qualify as musical instruments ?"
-- 8th of 7, Sep 17 2020


Don't all of your children look just like miniature bagpipes as they're running around, waving those spidery limbs in the air?
-- xenzag, Sep 17 2020


"Oh, the inhumanity ..."
-- 8th of 7, Sep 17 2020


No.
-- blissmiss, Sep 17 2020


No.
-- blissmiss, Sep 17 2020


Seconded. Twice.
-- 8th of 7, Sep 17 2020


Wow. How the hell...?
-- blissmiss, Sep 18 2020



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