Science: Health: Hospital
Mum-staffed A&E   (+6)  [vote for, against]
or "Mom-staffed ER" for the Americans

To a mum, no injury is life-threatening. 40% burns? Break out the Savlon. Sleeping-pill overdose? Half a pint of cod liver oil, then make 'em wash all the ambulances to keep 'em awake. Profuse bleeding from a dog attack? More Savlon, and the big plaster from the Elastoplast variety pack. Cranial trauma? Ice in a tea towel applied to the wound, and a quarter of chocolate mice.

[Suggested category - Health: Hospital]
-- friendlyfire, Dec 29 2002

Would there also be stern lectures about the dangers of playing with matches/pills/dogs/cranial traumatisers?
-- egbert, Dec 29 2002

That's where Dad comes in.
-- friendlyfire, Dec 29 2002

Tighten your belt another notch, and put bicycle clips round your ankles, Sleepygrass.
-- friendlyfire, Dec 29 2002

I know where there are plenty of rat's asses awaiting transplant patients. Seems you can't give them away these days.
-- egbert, Dec 29 2002

Questions asked by A&E mums:

1) Are you allergic to any medication?
2) Did you think it was clever?
3) And if your friend jumped off a cliff, would you copy him then?
-- friendlyfire, Dec 29 2002

4. don't come running to me when you break your leg
-- po, Dec 29 2002

So, after what [IVni] said, is this baked? Because I don't care if it is, it still gets my croissant. And a chocolate biscuit.
-- egbert, Dec 29 2002

5) So, you had to learn the hard way.
-- FarmerJohn, Dec 29 2002

<spits on hanky and wipes patients face> "there all better, now"
-- po, Dec 29 2002

"I'll give you something to cry about" instead of "The doctor will see you now"
-- Count Vermiculae, Apr 02 2005

6) And you can pick up ALL those fingers before you come crying to me, young man.
-- Basepair, Apr 02 2005

"A quarter of chocolate mice"???????? What???
-- 37PiecesOf Flair, Apr 04 2005

A 4 oz. bag of sweets, made of chocolate (the sweets, not the bag), shaped like little mice (again - the sweets, not the bag). The mainstay of my confectionary youth.

(Yes, confectionary with an A. Confectionery, being a noun, is unsuitable for use as a qualifying adjective. No idea if it's a real word though.)
-- friendlyfire, Apr 12 2005

The best we have are gummy rats.
-- 37PiecesOf Flair, Apr 29 2005

random, halfbakery