To a mum, no injury is life-threatening. 40% burns? Break out the Savlon. Sleeping-pill overdose? Half a pint of cod liver oil, then make 'em wash all the ambulances to keep 'em awake. Profuse bleeding from a dog attack? More Savlon, and the big plaster from the Elastoplast variety pack. Cranial trauma? Ice in a tea towel applied to the wound, and a quarter of chocolate mice.
[Suggested category - Health: Hospital]-- friendlyfire, Dec 29 2002 Would there also be stern lectures about the dangers of playing with matches/pills/dogs/cranial traumatisers?-- egbert, Dec 29 2002 That's where Dad comes in.-- friendlyfire, Dec 29 2002 Tighten your belt another notch, and put bicycle clips round your ankles, Sleepygrass.-- friendlyfire, Dec 29 2002 I know where there are plenty of rat's asses awaiting transplant patients. Seems you can't give them away these days.-- egbert, Dec 29 2002 Questions asked by A&E mums:
1) Are you allergic to any medication? 2) Did you think it was clever? 3) And if your friend jumped off a cliff, would you copy him then?-- friendlyfire, Dec 29 2002 4. don't come running to me when you break your leg-- po, Dec 29 2002 So, after what [IVni] said, is this baked? Because I don't care if it is, it still gets my croissant. And a chocolate biscuit.-- egbert, Dec 29 2002 5) So, you had to learn the hard way.-- FarmerJohn, Dec 29 2002 <spits on hanky and wipes patients face> "there all better, now"-- po, Dec 29 2002 "I'll give you something to cry about" instead of "The doctor will see you now"-- Count Vermiculae, Apr 02 2005 6) And you can pick up ALL those fingers before you come crying to me, young man.-- Basepair, Apr 02 2005 "A quarter of chocolate mice"???????? What???-- 37PiecesOf Flair, Apr 04 2005 A 4 oz. bag of sweets, made of chocolate (the sweets, not the bag), shaped like little mice (again - the sweets, not the bag). The mainstay of my confectionary youth.
(Yes, confectionary with an A. Confectionery, being a noun, is unsuitable for use as a qualifying adjective. No idea if it's a real word though.)-- friendlyfire, Apr 12 2005 The best we have are gummy rats.-- 37PiecesOf Flair, Apr 29 2005 random, halfbakery