Science: Health: Personality
Nerds Anonymous   (+1)  [vote for, against]
Cos Im a nerd and I need help

At parties Ive often found myself sitting on a sofa with a load of my (guy) friends, talking about films and quoting lines. I then look around and find that everyone else has been spending the night getting drunk, and most have found 'friends'. Yes, I have found Im a nerd.

I need a nerds anonymous, where fellow nerds can, with the help of a reformed nerd, learn in 12 steps how to avoid the humiliation of nerd-dom. Obviously there would be different levels, from computer nerds, to people who dont mind wearing somthing that their mum bought for them even when shes not around. The course would involve becoming less nerdy, whilst still retaining individuality and intelligence, helping the ex-nerds become part of normal society again, whilst earning computer chips for attending the meetings.
-- miasere, Apr 10 2003

Are You A Nerd?
[my face your, Oct 05 2004, last modified Oct 21 2004]

Nerd Pride Pendant http://www.onlinesp...I,LGA-MIT005-G.html
It all started at MIT, apparently. Not the logo I saw. [st3f, Oct 05 2004, last modified Oct 21 2004]

? "geeks anonymous"
[waugsqueke, Oct 05 2004, last modified Oct 17 2004]

Geek or Nerd?
Definitions of Geekyness and Nerdyness [Minimal, Jul 13 2005]

I know some pretty darn amazing people who describe themselves as nerds. I think it's an asset.
-- bristolz, Apr 10 2003

My point is that nerd socialise with other nerds, and its time to spread the love
-- miasere, Apr 10 2003

Speak for your self. I'm a society girl.
-- bristolz, Apr 10 2003

No comment, although I got the idea whilst looking throught the computer section.

I have friends, but sometimes i just stop, look around, and go;...what the hell am am talking about?
-- miasere, Apr 10 2003

It's good that you want balance, miasere. So do this - balance the time out so you're not feeling shortchanged at the end of an evening, and that your habitual buddies don't feel just as shortchanged by you going to the dark side during the evening. Remember, wimmenfolk leave a very small window of opportunity, so don't ignore it. If you find your elf in a *should I or shouldn't I make my move* situation, imagine you hear the voice of your mentor, Obi-Wax Thumbobi, saying “Use the Force, miasere."...
-- thumbwax, Apr 10 2003

I knew someone who got involved with a movement called 'Nerd Pride' quite some years back. Hey, she may even have started it. The logo was a pair of horn-rimmed glasses with a sticking plaster over the bridge. I'll do some digging...
-- st3f, Apr 10 2003

I dunno - most nerds are quite happy being nerds, particularly those that made millions from their stock options during the high tech market bubble of the late 90's.
-- hippo, Apr 10 2003

If you think that hanging around with fellow nerds is going to help you meet non-nerds, which I take to be your main goal here, then think again.

The next party you're at, take a deep breath and go up to the first girl you see and talk to her. When you're done talking to her, go over to the next girl you see and talk to her. And so on. Sooner or later (and most likely sooner), you will find a girl you like talking to, and who likes talking to you. And then you'll have made a friend who isn't a male nerd. Continue process.

You don't need a support group. Just balls. And you have those.
-- DrCurry, Apr 10 2003

Just like "The Wizard of Oz" (not Unabubba, the movie!)
-- snarfyguy, Apr 10 2003

"...become part of normal society again, whilst earning computer chips for attending the meetings."

err... wouldn't that be like in AA, whenever someone celebrates 3 months "on the wagon"... giving them a beer??
-- :-), Apr 10 2003

[:-)] nerds anonymous, alcoholics anonymous...notice the similarity?
i personally take pride in being a nerd...those who mock me are jocks and fail their classes, so i don't see a need for NA. I'm perfectly happy being nerdy, i have fun, and i've never felt much of an urge to go get drunk at parties. i have nothing against parties, friends or risktaking, just stupid decisions.
-- igirl, Apr 10 2003

miasere, there are two girls over here who would very much to talk with you (looks like) (of course, they're a little underage, but you at least practice your social skills).
-- DrCurry, Apr 10 2003

just go for it.
-- Eugene, Apr 10 2003

Hi, I'm Will. I was a nerd.

I started wearing glasses at the age of 13. Hated every minute of it. I was a small kid, much smaller than everyone else in my class, and i didn't play football. The glasses just sealed the deal.

Every second was painful. I lived a mile from the largest council estate in Europe, so while I was spending my weekends watching Red Dwarf and reading sci-fi, the council scallies were out getting drunk and knocking up 16 year old girls. I felt like a loser.

The turning point came when I started college. I was finally old enough to wear contacts, and I had a growth spurt during the summer (taking me to a more respectable 5' 8''. Bought a few nice clothes and stopped quoting TV shows. Found my way into a cool group of friends, started playing football, and the rest is history.

The problem is that being 'cool' comes with its own set of problems. You spend more money - hey, dating is painfully expensive. The worst thing is that you open yourself up to a whole host of vices. I started smoking, drank more and ended up with a severe gambling problem (trying to win money so I could be more 'cool' with a car and better clothes).

The trick is to find a balance. You shouldn't go through life shut inside your bedroom reading Terry Pratchett. You can still do it, but not all the time. On the same token, you can't spend all your time in pubs and clubs. That's not healthy.

I like this idea. It would be much easier for us nerds to assimilate into society with a support group :) +
-- sambwiches, Apr 10 2003

i don't define 'cool' as popular...i define it as being your own person.
-- igirl, Apr 10 2003

My thought is that these 'nerds anonymous' meetings would quickly turn into shouting matches over trivia knowledge.

Bringing a bunch of nerds together to 'discuss' their problem is like serving beer at the AA meetings.
-- lawpoop, Oct 06 2003

Can you really claim to be a nerd if you don't even have a basic grasp of the apostrophe?
-- Tabbyclaw, Jul 13 2005

at nerds anonymous you will first learn how to MFD on HB
-- benfrost, Jul 13 2005

<rant> The term 'Nerd' is often used as an anti-intellectual swipe. Anyone who shows a dedicated interest in anything is classed as a 'Nerd'. Stephen Hawking is a 'Cosmology Nerd', Bill Gates is a "Computer Nerd" etc...All of these people have excellent social skills, else they wouldn't have got where they are. Nobody calls people who only talk about cars, or sports ot beer "Sports Nerds" or "Car Nerds" or "Beer Nerds" and some of these people definitely lack social skills. I am all in favour of helping people with their social skills, whether they are interested in stuff or not....</rant>
-- Minimal, Jul 13 2005

I'm with sambwiches.

I left nerdom, but still read sci-fi, play games, etc but I realized that the problem I had was that I just had poor social skills and that caused too much anxiety when dealing with people. Its way too easy to latch on the same two or three people and depart from society.

I dated a fairly nerd girl recently and saw myself fall into some pretty bad habits like eating fattening foods and sitting on our asses playing video games all night. Every night. No live music, no bars, no nothing. You gotta mix it up. Have different interests.

What you need is balance, new interests (not just geek approved stuff), and the effort to be more outgoing and assertive in life. It doesnt have to be parties, but anywhere. In fact, I would say parties are probably the worst place to meet people.

Of course, YMMV, some people are very content in the role youre in, but it sounds like youre not.
-- lowbot, Jul 13 2005

//I know some pretty darn amazing people who describe themselves as nerds. I think it's an asset// I'm with Bristolz on that one. The history of mankind has never been changed significantly by a well-adjusted, integrated member of society.
-- Basepair, Jul 13 2005

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