Culture: Profanity
New Curse Words   (+68, -19)  [vote for, against]
The obscenities and vulgarities currently in use are stale.

<ramble>
I am the only one who is tired of hearing the same old phrases and words used when people want to vehemently express themselves? They're constantly bleeped on TV and Radio and some publications won't even print them. Yet almost every person who is supposed to be protected from them (kids?) probably know what they are and subliminally fill in the blank anyway.

We need some new curse words that have some real cojones. Words that frighten old ladies and make the infirm pee their pants. Words that are wielded like a broadsword or a dagger. Jab, spin, parry, thrust.

We need a new fuck. We need fuck' (fuck prime). A variation on a theme. Or maybe not. Lately I've taken to using network news broadcasters when I cuss. Tom Brokaw, Dan Rather and Peter Jennings sound naughty if you bark them out with just the right gruffness.

Maybe I'm just pissed that they're giving us shit about cursing in the work place. I need some curse words that fly under the radar of the establishment but still carry the same import. Spastic colon, anyone?
</ramble>
-- dgeiser13, Sep 08 2000

(???) Etymology of Fuck [urbanlegends.com] http://www.urbanleg...ogy/fuck/index.html
Refutes some common misconceptions about 'fuck' [dgeiser13, Sep 08 2000, last modified Oct 04 2004]

Maledicta - The International Journal of Verbal Agression http://www.sonic.net/maledicta/
Uncensored language research [dgeiser13, Sep 08 2000, last modified Oct 04 2004]

Definition and etymology of Fuck [dictionary.com] http://www.dictiona...n/dict.pl?term=fuck
[dgeiser13, Sep 08 2000, last modified Oct 04 2004]

Links to 2000AD web sites http://www.angelfir...in/dredd/links.html
A brave, new world of brave, new expletives. [DrBob, Sep 08 2000, last modified Oct 04 2004]

Jesse Sheidlower (Editor): The F-Word http://www.amazon.c...75706348/halfbakery
The "also bought" list here looks like a fairly good reading list for those in need of linguistic inspiration. The editor of "the F-word" has recently been hired as editor in charge of North-American English by the Oxford English Dictionary; you might have read about that in the paper press. [jutta, Sep 08 2000]

British BSC Current Rude Word List http://www.theregis...ntent/28/15418.html
Rudest words in Britain for 2000 from the Broadcasting Standards Comission [dgeiser13, Sep 08 2000, last modified Oct 04 2004]

Smeg ("Tecnologia che arreda", as they say.) http://www.smeg.it/
I have a Smeg hob in my kitchen. [hippo, Sep 08 2000, last modified Oct 04 2004]

Foreign profanity exchange http://www.halfbake...rofanity_20exchange
Why add English swear words when you can import them? :) [arghblah, Sep 08 2000, last modified Oct 04 2004]

Cassell Dictionary of Slang http://www.amazon.c...102-0358037-5060114
The definitive paper resource for all those obscure swear words and insults [-alx, Sep 08 2000, last modified Oct 04 2004]

Roger's Profanisaurus http://www.viz.co.u...saurus/profanis.htm
Fine collection of the dirtiest swear words you have ever heard. [stupop, Sep 08 2000, last modified Oct 04 2004]

"F.U.C.K stands for fornicating under consent of the king, if anyone was interested" http://www.straight...assics/a2_268b.html
No, it doesn't. [StarChaser, Apr 06 2002, last modified Oct 04 2004]

List of Fictional Expletives http://en.wikipedia...ictional_expletives
A nice list of fictional curse words from our friends at Wikipedia. [dgeiser13, May 30 2005, last modified Jul 26 2006]

Biblical Curse Generator http://www.ship-of-...es/Curses_body.html
[dgeiser13, Jun 24 2005]

Snopes: F.U.C.K. ? http://www.snopes.c...e/acronyms/fuck.htm
False. [jutta, Oct 23 2007]

Merriam-Webster: fuck, verb http://www.m-w.com/dictionary/Fuck
Dutch? [jutta, Oct 25 2007]

Ohio State Public Law Working Paper No. 59 - Fuck http://papers.ssrn....?abstract_id=896790
I'm only 5 and a half years late with this one but hey! I got here in the end. [DrBob, Jun 03 2013]

PG-rating curse words https://www.esquire...-a-christmas-story/
Some serious contenders in here. Batten-house nickle fiffer! [whatrock, Apr 26 2020]

Unfortunately, this would require both a great deal of historical linguistic education and creative thinking, and I can't imagine anyone who posses knowledge and skills such so would use them for such mundane, amusing means. *sigh* Acadamecians are so boring.

[edit]: That is to say, really *authentic*-sounding ones would require much more... I like "Thrack" and "Feldercarb", though!
-- absterge, Sep 08 2000


Good, hard consonants are necessary for an effective swear-word, which is why "Bollocks!" is so good (This is also a good one to use in the US where many people don't know what it means).
Politicians' names would make good swear-words too: "Clinton!", "Kinnock!" (for UK HalfBakery listeners).
-- hippo, Sep 08 2000


I thought Battlestar Galactica said "Frack." "Feldercarb" was a good one from that show, too, bringing to mind some smelly, black, machinery residue.
-- centauri, Sep 08 2000


How did "fuck" become a bad word anyway? Was it because it's short for a much nastier phrase?
-- centauri, Sep 08 2000


"Smeg" has been around for a short time, but seems to be gaining popularity.

As far as the politicians' names idea goes, Robert Anton Wilson does this in his "Schrodinger's Cat Trilogy," where "dirty" terminology is replaced by the names of United States Congresspersons and Supreme Court Justices.
-- bookworm, Sep 08 2000


Gee, a girl used to call me a smeghead...I thought it was a compliment...

Anyhoo, a friend I know generally uses swear words from other languages, including ebonics. "Schiezer", "Foke" and "Biatch" are a little corny, but they work.
-- quanta, Sep 08 2000


I think instead of giving someone the finger we should reintroduce the Medieval throwing figs (clenching your thumb between the index and middle fingers making a fist and throwing them heavenward...see Dante's Inferno for proper useage) or even the Elizabethian biting the thumb.
-- ncherill, Sep 08 2000


Smeg and Belgium work for me... I have been known to use Shiesse occasionaly, and then there's always shat (past tense of shit?)....
-- davros42, Sep 08 2000


I had a teacher in Jr. High who convinced me that cursing was intellectual laziness. I agreed, but still tend to overinteract with inanimate objects in this fashion, and Yosemite Sam is one of my my heros. "Drat", and simply "curses" have served me well in mixed company. 'Poo" is kind of cute, coming from a woman. An all purpose phrase I learned on a job once, is to substitute appropriate names in the following exchange, thus: "where you going?" "Gotta take a Limbaugh". "Dont forget to flush the Ken Hamblin, and wipe your Mike Reagan ".
-- Scott_D, Sep 11 2000


Robert Anton Wilson did this in one of his books. "Rehnquist" (a supreme court judge) stood for "Penis". I was a teen at the time and had never heard the names before. Reading dissenting opinions will never be the same.
-- jutta, Sep 11 2000


I thought of a new one ala Mork from Ork..."Shazbot!" By the way I think cursing might be lingustic laziness not intellectual laziness.
-- dgeiser13, Sep 11 2000


Never mind the Bollocks, here come the infested smootbags, you smegma sucking assmunch with dickbreath, that's a nice tongue blister, you intellectual midget, Oprah's on, girl, hey boy, you used to be so cute, you're still a little slow, but you look like Conway Twitty, hey hockey puck, how come your farts don't make a sound?
-- thumbwax, Sep 15 2000


2000AD (home of the mighty Judge Dredd) is a good source of bold, new expletives. If you want to know some, then drokking well read it yourself!

And thanks for the explanation on Rehnquist jutta!
-- DrBob, Sep 15 2000


centauri, absterge and waugsqueke: I just checked out the Battlestar Galactica curses again (the Space Channel has the series in reruns). The curses are actually 'Frack' and 'Felgercarb', not "Thrack' and 'Feldercarb'.

I still like 'pillock', 'bollocks', 'cobblers', 'hairy ring piece', 'spug', 'dreck' (and 'drokk' from Judge Dredd), 'burk' (sp?) , 'poopnoddy', 'ninnyhammer', 'Edmund', and of course 'Pacino' (as in 'Did you see dat chick? What a Pacino on her!)

Of course, cursing in Swedish, Spanish or Russian is also quite fun.
-- BigThor, Sep 27 2000


My mother's Italian. When I was young and us kids were giving her a bad time (only on days of the week with an A in them) she would curse and swear in Italian. I thought it was pretty cool so listened carefully and copied her, when she wasn't in earshot. The one phrase I can still remember has been very useful, especially as it allowed me to leave some thicko colleague's desk muttering it to myself (out loud of course) and not being too insulting.

Not too long ago I mentioned this to her, and asked her if she would mind translating it. Much to my chagrin she said that it wasn't any Italian she knew! Seems for all these years I was not actually offending anyone at all. I still use it though.

Of course Mum may just have been too embarrased to tell me....

Moral: Swear words are what you make them to be. It's not just what's said, but how it's said. Never be a smart-arse kid and try and copy your mother.
-- Alcin, Sep 27 2000


[centauri] when i was growing up, they told us that the word fuck that we use today is a shorted version of Fornication Under the Crown of the King. (but you never do know if you are getting the truth with these stupid americans)
-- celizafinn, Oct 16 2000


CLYMER--used to refer to a "bigtime" body part (or a person whose actions remind the speaker of same).
-- supercat, Nov 29 2000


Smeg is one of my favourites, and complicated descriptions of anatomical disasters (ala Red Dwarf: [Rimmer] "Stop your foul whining you filthy piece of distended rectum!")
-- Detly, Dec 14 2000


How about doing a clinton (hairsplitting lying) and of course every guy wants a Monica
-- aron, Jan 10 2001


A very young friend of mine uses the word pigsquirmy for anything disgusting.

Re Smeg, I was always surprised they got away with using it on the BBC. I just suppose not many people know what it means.
-- Gordon Comstock, Feb 13 2001


If our curses are supposed to be references to things offensive and we object to censorship then why not invert the problem and make censorship itself the curse. If you don't like the idea then I hope you get censored, you bleep!

(I'd rather be fucked than censored any day.)
-- sirrobin, Feb 14 2001


Re smeg; the Monty Python team used to use the longer version of the word in the early 70s - some sketches featured a character called Mrs Smegma.

As Gordon Comstock infers, it looks like nobody at the BBC bothered finding out what it meant.
-- Scotty, Feb 23 2001


Scotty: And in at least one of the sketches, 'How Not To Be Seen', it was Mrs B J Smegma...
-- StarChaser, Feb 24 2001


[UnaBubba] - Italian kitchen appliances, surely? See link. (sorry - I'm being pedantic, I know...)
-- hippo, Mar 19 2001


A contestant on an amusing BBC quiz show ("Never mind the Buzzcocks") swore in a particular way, then said to camera, "and if you bleeped that correctly, you've just spelled out 'fuck' in morse".
-- IanBennett, Apr 20 2001


People of halfbakery your country needs you. What is going to happen when major organisations and big business become desensitised to current swearing. The yoof of the world will have no way to rebel from their elders, innovation and individualism will falter, and ultimately, rock'n'roll will die. Act now before it is too late!
-- chico2, Apr 20 2001


I think that the British Comedy Sci-Fi series - The Strangerers (written by ex-red dwarf layabouts) had a good idea for an expression which seemed to sum up the instant when you realise that SSDD really applies:

Spoot!

Simple, to the point, and full of vehemant spittle, I now have a t-shirt emblazoned with this word, thanks to the wife...it causes much conversation.

Also `manabananabikinibakoo` can be effective when combined with a typical right (or left) handed strumming gesture where the finges are curled in a ring-shape with the thumb forming an `o`. Do not try whilst trying to sound your horn towards some shiyster who is tring to cut you up on the motorway. What about, "you EMINEM", to describe someone who has not yet reached puberty, but think they have by driving agressively?

"Bolicle" could be an effective retort.

Actually, commercial words which I hear everyday used to justify poor business practice also work well, who is sick of `downsizing`, `proactive` and `empowerment` as I am? Swear words for the new millennium...bullshit bingo anyone?
-- Skybird, Apr 20 2001


Walt Kelley, the great cartoonist from the 50's and 60's invented a number of swear words. Here are a few, with translations: Dagnabbit: dammit Rowrbazzle: fuck Nump: dumbass

That's all that I can remember.
-- tkeyser, Apr 20 2001


Some cliche swearwords come out nicely when said backwards: Cuff you, reknaw.
-- Dog Ed, Apr 20 2001


Personal favourite: GruntFuttock, doesn't mean much, but sounds like an expletive...
-- marmite, Apr 21 2001


scott adams the creator of he brilliant cartoon 'dilbert' has also noted this by saying in a cartoon that to shock people nowadays you have to use worrds so foul that people and their pets catch fire

he also already thought of the bingo idea (wally won)
-- chud, Apr 21 2001


I too used to invent swear words on the spot. One that has stuck and appears to be particularly effective is "Skinroll".

What do you make of that ya buch of Bollitrols?
-- Spidergoat, Jun 06 2001


I rater enjoy Japanese and Spanish words.... "Zakkenayo!" "Vete a mierda!" One thing I've picked up is just saying "Expletive!!" when said in the right tone of voice, people really get the point... (if they know what it means!)
-- Malakh, Jun 06 2001


Curse du jour: Fusticle!
-- snarfyguy, Jun 06 2001


i remember watching an episode of 'Father ted' , where Ted goes on a picnic only for a hard-nosed couple to turn up and start 'swearing'....

couple: "what the'fup' are you doing"? Ted: "sorry?" couple:"Your in our 'fupping' place' Ted: "There's plenty of space , could you not go over there ?" Couple: "No 'fupping' way! " Ted: "why are you talking like that ?" couple :(point to sign next to them that says 'no swearing')"now 'fupping' move you.......'grasshole' ! "
-- havenman, Jun 06 2001


Does anyone know the name of those mixed-up swear phrases ....you know like 'pheasant plucker' (pleasant fucker) Any more ..anyone?
-- havenman, Jun 06 2001


Spoonerisms. Do a websearch for the word to find sites devoted to collecting them.
-- jutta, Jun 06 2001


Not sure when those R.A. Wilson books were written, but in Thomas Disch's 1974 novel "334," general disinterest in politics has led to "Democrat" and "Republican" being reused as synonyms for "straight" and "gay" respectively. (You might think it would be the other way round, but the book is set in New York, traditionally a one-party town.) Of course there are also "Independents," though as one character laments, "What difference does it make if you don't vote?"
-- hob, Jun 07 2001


I am still the old Mephista, but have forgotten my password. So, now I am Mephista2.

In an old book by Lewis Thomas (I think it was "Lives of a Snail") he traces the roots of "fuck" all the way back to Proto-Indo-European. This means it is a tough old word.

But I agree that we need some new, imaginative cuss-words or cuss-phrases. We will have to be continually updating them, so that they do not get stale, and at the same time, we will have to keep them intelligible to the targets. It will help to keep them spitty and retchy and plosive, like so many of our old standards (shit, fuck, cunt, piss, ass, screw, suck, dick, cock, prick, pussy). Thumbwax has offered some good ones. They have to sound nasty to the ear, and feel nasty to the mouth, as well as being semantically nasty. Whole sentences are better than single words. Like, "Go flick yer clit, bitch!" Or, "Stick yer dick in a shitpit, bloody Brit!"
-- Mephista2, Jun 07 2001


I liked "Shit...take mushrooms!" from 'Spy Kids'.

I can't offer anything else, my mouth's like a sewer. I'm a crude little girl.
-- jetgrrl, Jun 07 2001


[marmite], 'GruntFuttock' is the name of a character played by Kenneth Williams in a BBC radio comedy show in the 1960s, pre-"The Goon Show". It was a hugely smutty show headed by a quite old guy called Kenneth Horne, and was called (cleverly) Round The Horne. The GruntFuttock character was part of one of their particular scetches which illustrated a very smutty, very eccentric old Englishman in a very rural tiny seaside village (West Country, like Somerset, not like Brighton), whose favourite pasttime was something involving his 'cordwangler', and that a pretty young girl had some effect on his 'moolies'. Very puerile, but very BBC - they're far less tight-arsed than you think.
-- lewisgirl, Jun 07 2001


Wow! Three years ago, I unwittingly started a small fad in Urbana-Champaign by shouting "Expletive!" whenever I was vexed. I do not know which surprised me more: when my foul-mouthed friends imitated me soon thereafter, or when I saw the very same thing suggested here. Anyhow, cheers.
-- twerpalicious, Jun 07 2001


I favour variations on the word 'felch', especially felchmonkey. It helps that most of the people I use it against have no idea what it is I'm saying about them.

I've got a dictionary of slang. One of the entries is for 'Cunty McCuntlips', meaning 'an extremely unpleasant person'. I like that one too.
-- -alx, Jun 07 2001


Rangoon. As in "you complete and utter Rangoon". Using a country's capital city as an insult probably offends quite a few people, but that kind of adds to the appeal
-- eldan, Jun 07 2001


I think Rekjavik has enough hard consonants in it to be an ideal profanity.

Also, several years ago, I used to exchange insults with people such as "Boolean" & "Operand". But that was when we were doing computing A Level.

Someone called me a "spoon" once. I found that pretty funny, though not as funny as when the school head boy told me I was "such a penis".
-- -alx, Jun 07 2001


How about "may you remain celibate!".

or,from Kismet- "may your taxes increase!"
-- mcdornan1, Jun 08 2001


Oi, Steve's a right tofu custard, 'e is.
-- Dog Ed, Jun 08 2001


frell - from farscape is a favourite of mine at the moment. Not that it is particulaly good. Try using - zounds- that might confuse people.
-- RobertKidney, Jun 08 2001


[Rod's Tiger] I think it's the Cassell Slang Dictionary. It's a big thick thing I got sent by some bookclub for no apparent reason, so I kept it because it was a pretty useful volume.

I'll never again have to wonder the meaning of phrases like "rub the bald man in the boat" or suchlike. This book comes highly recommended...
-- -alx, Jun 08 2001


Thinking "out of the box" and into the bag? How about replacing curse words with sounds? Everyone would need a bag of gadgets for cursing. Like this: "Click-clack, click-clack (metal cricket gadget you bend with your thumb), you whee-whoo (slide whistle). Your mother's a bwaa (toy cylinder that makes a moo sound when turned over). Go honk-honk, gobble-gobble-gobble (duck call) and whey-oo (moose call) before I pow! pow! pow! (torpedoes? Fireworks you throw on the ground and they pop). Let's see, add to our vocabulary a police whistle, the wonderful bulb-horn that Harpo used, a whoopie cushion, the thing you blow and it curls out and makes a whistle, the gadget you spin and it makes a grating noise, um...that's the end of my brain...sorry.
-- melanerpes, Jun 12 2001


A friend of mine uses the word "pfaknok" as a general expletive. Not a bad one; it sounds vaguely Anglo-Saxon (or perhaps Old Norse or somesuch), and has the right sort of sound; especially the "pf".
-- acb, Jun 12 2001


I kinda like what Ross on 'Friends' made up. He would make fists with both hands, then clap twice with the thumb/index parts. This was a replacement for giving the finger.
-- MuddDog, Jun 12 2001


ssschhhoommtpf ! btdtdtdtdt...

I love it. What was that guy's name in Mad Magazine, Don something? Remember: poit!

The sound of a drip, or maybe a small hard object bouncing off a drumlike surface.
-- whatzabuzz, Jun 12 2001


Dutch swearing can be fun, once used in English swearing... what about Klootzak (pronounce like Kloatsak), Eikel (Igal) or Hufter...
-- BartJan, Jun 12 2001


Oh, right! Add a snare drum to the curse bag. Definitely need a rim-shot (Is that the correct term?) and a drum roll and whatever it takes to go "ta-dah!".
-- melanerpes, Jun 12 2001


I find mixing a holy word and a random noun to be quite offensive times. BearPope, JesusStripper.... Sorry that whole thing was just a load of NunBuckets
-- sputnik, Jun 13 2001


A handy substitute for a profanity would be "Steve Perry". I would like to thank Joe Cooper and Doug Reemer.
-- Fynergy, Jun 13 2001


Although it does feel like walking into herd of stampeding cattle, I should like to point out, for the record, that the Japanese language, for one, is totally devoid of swear words. Just about every word can be used without offense, which seems fairly sensible and eminently civilized to me. So we could go in the opposite direction, and try to incorporate all English curse words into the realm of acceptable vocabulary... rather than the other way round.
-- Dr Furtz, Jun 13 2001


In strict terms, all seven Celtic languages are also devoid of swear-words, but of course the imaginative Celts find a way round it.
-- angel, Jun 13 2001


Fuckallayouse! And fuck me...so I'm old-fashioned.
-- StreetLight, Jun 14 2001


i enjoy "Well sit on a monkey!" when something astonishes me.
-- starmanki, Jun 14 2001


[PeterSealy]: It is, of course, possible to curse in Gaelic; in fact the Celts generally have been experts at it for centuries ('May you die alone!') and there is at least one Gaelic Curse Generator on the net. A swear word is, perhaps, any word so considered, and notions of obscenity change over time and across cultures. My meaning is that (according to my information, from native speakers of assorted Celtic languages) there is no equivalent of f@@k, c@@t and suchlike, although 'copulate' and 'vagina' do exist. The typical Gaelic dismissive phrase is 'Pog ma hol', meaning 'Kiss my ass', but it is held in lower regard than its English equivalent. (The punk-folk band The Pogues were originally called Pog ma Hol, but lack of air-play prompted the change.)
-- angel, Jun 15 2001


I believe the Pogues name was shortened from Pogue Mahone.
-- dgeiser13, Jun 15 2001


Channel 5 programs:- Sunset Beach, Family Afairs, Days of our Lives etc.
-- RobertKidney, Jun 15 2001


One version of "the "F- word" origin tells of its earliest written appearance being that of an etching on a coin found among relics of the American Civil War. It's meaning, presumably: "For Use (acquiring) Carnal Knowledge".

'Course it could've just been the owner's name. Either way, the man had issues
-- The Military, Jun 24 2001


My cousin sounds just like those little peasants - we play it on LAN at home too...

Some new swear words..
...how about some useless TV channels like TCM :-)
...or maybe egyptian Gods? RAMSES, etc...

By the way did you know D'oh (from the simpsons) has been added to the dictionary?
-- Zwe, Jul 07 2001


How about "hello"... it'll be plenty fun, we can go up to the boss and say "hello" and "hello" the pastor and all that
-- tierrie, Jul 13 2001


PishFlaps
-- ChewTheBeef, Aug 09 2001


When I was researching a paper on North American Indian fairytales, I came across a story in which a boy jeers at a woman by calling her vulva-woman. Maybe some forms of cursing are programmed into us, a result of our biology.
-- rekt, Sep 23 2001


//A handy substitute for a profanity would be "Steve Perry". I would like to thank Joe Cooper and Doug Reemer. //

"I thought we decided no more Journey psych-outs!"
Classic movie....
-- AfroAssault, Sep 23 2001


Simply chop up all the old swear words and stick them back together in a different way - frick you shunt! Hmmm.....maybe not. What I do find highly amusing are imaginative metaphors used to describe crude things - there are a lot of these in 'Roger's Profanisaurus' (see link). Expressions like 'blue-veined hooligan', 'strangling Kojak' or 'waving a sausage in the Albert Hall' could add a bit of colour to any conversation.
-- stupop, Sep 25 2001


[stupop] that blue-veined hooligan - I know him
-- po, Sep 29 2001


My grandfather, who has a very strong Lithuanian accent, says "Oh, forgoddamnshit!" whenever he gets frustrated. It is especially funny when people who would normally protest to bad language can't quite understand what he said and just sort of smile and nod...
-- Galileo, Oct 09 2001


One I have used for years is "bollards". Also "fuck-krell", which although absurd is great fun to say in times of distress.
-- afroman, Nov 01 2001


I'm surprised that nobody brought up the Michael Keaton movie "Johnny Dangerously" where a character mangles the usual swear words. to quote one phrase, "You fargin icehole corksuckin bastiges!" I particularly like corksucker, myself. It may be true that Celtic hasn't an overabundance of swear words, but their curses are nonpareil.
-- wireguy, Nov 01 2001


I'm rather partial to 'Puke.'

Dr. Seuss words work rather well, too.

What's fun is to change the meaning of common words so people think you're actually complimenting them.
-- RayfordSteele, Jan 01 2002


You artless, bootlicking, infectious sheep-biting, born-in-a-swamp elf-skinned mulletheaded vassal.
-- thumbwax, Jan 01 2002


Oh, bull-dingies! Or, with clenched teeth, mutter "You dirty box of bricks". Sounds nastier than it is.
-- TeaTotal, Jan 01 2002


How about 'Zahnpasta'... the German word for toothpaste. I used to use this one on my little sister, took her a few years to cotton on.

A misguided highschool english teacher tried to interest my class in Shakespeare by taking us to the school oval and encouraging us to hurl Shakesperian insults at each other. It was disturbing, but kinda fun.
-- madradish, Jan 05 2002


//all seven Celtic languages are also devoid of swear-words, but of course the imaginative Celts find a way round it//

hmmmm, well *six* of the Celtic languages may be devoid of swear-words, but we have swear-words aplenty in Scottish Gaelic.

I don't know where the idea that we don't have any comes from, but I have heard it *so* many times. Perhaps there were no swear words in past times (though this seems unlikely - I can remember my grandfather uttering a few choice phrases now and again) but if this is the case, we have more than made up for lost time now, thank you very much!
-- salachair, Feb 21 2002


Do we get some examples, salachair?
-- calum, Feb 21 2002


¯tkeyser: Someone invented dumbass? Speaking as one who is constantly exposed to shit and whores, I find the topic to be illuminating. Currently, I maintain a working knowledge of 'what passes for' vulgarisms in order to better communicate with guttermouths. For instance, to "Someone's been in my shit!" I can reply 'Shall we make ourselves a list of your concerns?' and reap the smiles and approving nods of the general observers, or I can kick things up a notch and reply 'Is there anyone you share your shit with?'. While the latter response generally gets better feedback than the former, the powers that be frown on patronizing such misguided individuals. Therefore, whenever possible, I try to strike the soft middle ground by using a more vague restatement of a speaker's original comment that retains the original flavor of the comment while making it seem otherwise senseless. By way of example:

"Someone's been in my shit!" "Who else here has shit?"
-- reensure, Feb 21 2002


I may need help with the pronunciation.
-- calum, Feb 21 2002


I usually mutter some off the wall saying like "bannana cupcakes, Batman" I don't knw just something i picked up somewhere. I've also found that for some reason people look offended when you say "shut your hole" why i have no idea
-- Skye, Feb 21 2002


I heard someone on the Simpsons shout "holy farking schnit!" -- I'd heard variations on this before, but hearing it on the TV in the background when I wasn't paying attention caught my ear.

I am anti-cursing at the moment (wearing the mommy hat) since my 2-year-old said "Jesus" as one of her first words after visiting my in-laws this weekend. :)
-- quacksalve, Feb 21 2002


My Irish friends assure me that "feck" is a legitimate word for use in public. Thus in prime time TV shows like "Father Ted" (yeah... I have very limited exposure to Irish TV here in Aus) you hear it in every second sentence when they almost certainly wouldn't use fuck. I've found "Feckin' Shite" to be quite useful, especially when delivered with a really bad Irish accent.
-- RobRoy, Feb 21 2002


Yeah, anyone recollect what episode of the SImpsons "Farking schnit!" is from? I do like fark dot com, but fark as a cuss word isn't very useful. Soft 'r' sound dulls the k. Say "Fack." Now "Farck." Now, this is a bad example, because to me anyway the short A sound is easier on the mouth before an 'r'. But anyway, my contribution:

none, people turn insanely innocent words (faggot, anyone?) into expletives. One cannot chart the birth of a curse. It is a word's use that makes it such.
-- equivocal, Feb 22 2002


<starchaser bait>"Fark," I seem to recall, stemmed from that magnificently horrible Mel Brooks film, "Spaceballs." One character was fond of calling an other a "farking icehole." Or so I'm told.</starchaser bait>
-- waugsqueke, Feb 22 2002


You can also combine existing words to form obscenities. One of my favorites is "bloodfart!" because it is disgusting without being too dirty. when my wife and I got married people constantly asked ifshe was changing her name. I answer that to be fair we were both changing our names to Bloodfart.
-- bloodfart, Feb 22 2002


the word vacuum is pretty good. The mouth movement are very similar to fuck you, I like to mouth it to people across the room just to be annoying.
-- Skye, Feb 22 2002


shizzle (Snoop Dogg, 2001)
-- superye, Feb 22 2002


<examines the bait, but is confused as to why it's labeled 'For You, StarChaser'>

Actually, the 'farging icehole' thing came from "Johnny Dangerously" <Most famously. It'd been a standard overdone 'Italian' accent joke for a long time before...>
-- StarChaser, Feb 23 2002


I think my favorite and most satisfying expletives come on an impromptu, random basis as a result of the general annoyances in everyday life.

Fixing the car when the ratchet slips and you slice your hand on the oiliest, nastiest part of the engine:

"Gadflack snogfultin ma neckerestim mutsolungit!!! Sonofa rapstak plittalover!!" (quote must of course be imagined as said through clenched teeth.)

Man that feels good! If you have trouble coming up with things that suit your style, do a little research on Yosemite Sam. He could no doubt inspire one, since he was a master of this technique.
-- Mojo, Feb 24 2002


<grins> I do the same thing...
-- StarChaser, Feb 24 2002


Having it all 'right here', and loving it.
-- reensure, Feb 24 2002


There's always Norman Mailer's "fug".
-- Turok, Feb 25 2002


Bearing on BigThor´s annot, foreign swearwords sound tame when translated but would add some variety: Swedish - "Devils!", Portuguese - "Go comb the monkeys!"
-- FarmerJohn, Apr 04 2002


F.U.C.K stands for fornicating under consent of the king, if anyone was interested... you used to have to have a license to have sex under one monarchy or another.
-- ishotpac, Apr 05 2002


A recent event I have noticed lately is people using words from phrases to isult people. Thus calling someone a cake-taker is a good example, as in "I have seen some ugly people in my time but he takes the cake." So cake-taker is now a popular insult at the moment. Not really a swear word though.
-- jspace, Apr 05 2002


you might have shot tupac, ishotpac - but you didn't know that's an old wives tale. Here's an insult:
kenny kitley
-- thumbwax, Apr 05 2002


As a Briton, I have always found that shouting "Bollocks" or "Arse" loudly when required, has certain beneficial effects :-)
-- bmycroft, Apr 05 2002


So I'm taking this Chinese language class, and apparently swear words are still awesomely offensive in China... somebody accidentally mispronounced something and totally offended the professor. Try integrating "tsao" with a sort of falling tone of voice into some sentences on occasion (Warning: I don't know what it actually means since the professor was too offended to explain it. I think it's sort of fuck-esque). It's cursing the way cursing was meant to be.
-- blowfish, Apr 06 2002


Well, being existential and grouchy as I was, I needed to curse a lot -- out loud. So I asked my Hindu friends how to say equivalent words in Hindu language. "Chond" means the F-word, "chondiya" means "F--- you," "Benchond" means "sister f--ker," "machond" means "MF," and "kuti" means the b-word.

"Foutoi" means "f--k you" in French. It's read, "foo twah" :-)
-- wwwslashdotcom, May 04 2002


is that true? "kuti" means baked!
-- po, May 04 2002


It is funny to read all these 'new' swear words from the americans which in fact have been around in the UK for about 80 years!
-- ferret, May 04 2002


If there's anything that we might add to the list, I believe that s#cc%l@nt will certainly qualify as a hated curse word to most all on this board.
-- RayfordSteele, May 13 2002


//curse words that fly under the radar of the establishment but still carry the same import

Diddyride. A compound of two innocuous words but descriptive of a sexual practice only possible between a man and a large-breasted lady.
-- calum, May 14 2002


Whatever happened to 'Oh, Fiddlesticks'?
-- NickTheGreat, May 26 2002


how about we just yell out punctuation?

example: oh @#$(&*!#*%**!@# i just smashed my *&%#@$ finger with that @#$*(@#* hammer.
-- jiggersplat, May 31 2002


UB: Call me old-fashioned, but I prefer murder.
-- waugsqueke, May 31 2002


For some unknown reason, whenever I feel the need to cuss, I shout "Great Gatsby McCaffrey!", combining the title of F. Scott Fiztgerald's most famous novel and the last name of Anne McCaffrey, author of all them dragon books. It just seems to have a nice rhythm to it (accents on "Gat" and "Caff"). I've also been known, in moments of great danger and stress, to scream "Holy Mary Mother of Funk!" I have no idea where that originated, either.
-- tracer, Jul 09 2002


When I was a child, my very religious cousins used o say "sugar" where a normal person would swear. But the malevolent way in which they said it, made it MUCH worse than an honest "fuck" in my opinion.
-- pfperry, Jul 10 2002


New french curse word: <<Sac à sandwich!>>
-- Matty, Jul 10 2002


Farnarkle has a great lead-in. Noblet. "He's/She's a Spanner" (head like a sack full of busted spanners). Schonk off and eat a Vertex, Mafajee! (short for M/F'ing Goose).
-- Johnny Mash, Jul 11 2002


"You damn MCI!" "You're nothing but an Arthur Anderson!"

You sure, degroof?
-- DrCurry, Jul 14 2002


It is easy to swear without much traditional-style swearing: instead of relying on the words, create mental images of the damage you wish to inflict. Then describe it out loud.
-- juuitchan3, Jul 14 2002


Henry Miller used "fig" or "figlet" in reference to a woman's nether regions. For some reason it seems much filthier than other words like uhhhhh you know. Read Opus Pistorum it's on almost every page.
-- blacksect, Jul 14 2002


My wife (delicate flower that she is) uses "chin gate" to cover for "chinga te," which is "f**k you" in Spanish.

She also uses "sonza" (or the full version, "sonza beech") for "son of a b*tch."

She'll occasionally call me "Hugh Baxter" ("you bastard") when she gets particularly exercised.

I also worked in a studio where we had to watch our language around the clientele, so we made up "Täk Nâh" so we could swear without offending them. (We even had Täk Nâh T-shirts, worth a free breakfast from work-mates if photographed while worn in a famous location.)
-- land, Aug 14 2002


In Jamaica we have several cursewords, Bumboclaat, raasclaat, bloodclaat and pussyclaat. (claat is a corruption of cloth). these work very well for Jamaicans abroad.
-- senatorjam, Aug 14 2002


I think that"gundagreen" should be a new curse word. I tell ya, there's nothing more humiliating than being called a "gundagreen".
-- amazing, Aug 14 2002


here some new word that are realitivly unkown and unused

moemoe,cunt,todd,foebo...

also one regarding homosexuality

pillow biter, fudge packer,haig...
-- i-Mer, Nov 20 2002


"slithy"...I love that word It means one who easily wriggles from one's grasp and darts off in unintended directions. Kind of like a tease.

She is nothing but a slithy!
-- drfowler, Nov 20 2002


I rarely cuss, and actually use archaic words such as "dagnabbit" or "gadzooks" sometimes, to the extent that many people I haven't known for very long think I don't cuss at all. But I do, just when I think it's absolutely appropriate, and when I do it tends to have great effect. People get quiet, stop what they're doing, and turn around and look.

Quite satisfying.
-- landruc, Dec 14 2002


"Fuck" does NOT stand for "for unlawful carnal knowledge" or "fornication under consent of the king". It is not an acronym for anything at all.

It is a very old word, recorded in English since the 15th century (few acronyms predate the 20th century), with cognates in other Germanic languages. The Random House Historical Dictionary of American Slang (Random House, 1994, ISBN 0-394-54427-7) cites Middle Dutch fokken = "to thrust, copulate with"; Norwegian dialect fukka = "to copulate"; and Swedish dialect focka = "to strike, push, copulate" and fock = "penis". Although German ficken may enter the picture somehow, it is problematic in having e-grade, or umlaut, where all the others have o-grade or zero-grade of the vowel.
-- joep5472, Feb 05 2003


Spanker right! you lot are all floss bandits
-- brightboy, Feb 05 2003


// it is problematic in having e-grade, or umlaut, where all the others have o-grade or zero-grade of the vowel //

Since this rererence is post 15th century, could not the divergence from the German simply be the result of the European Vowel Shift of that era ?
-- 8th of 7, Feb 05 2003


My son began bringing home curse words he picked up at school, (naturally enough), but he wouldn’t stop with just a talking to. It may sound a tad cruel, but I had him brush his teeth with a bit of hand soap on the brush.

Now he says "Piffles" when ever he's mad.
-- 2 fries shy of a happy meal, Feb 05 2003


Can I propose a good old "Flange"?

"Christ, he caught me right in the flange..."

Or as a friend of mine a few years ago randomly came out with "Knobsack", I have to share that one...
-- Seaneeboy, Mar 07 2003


I personally like foreign swears, as well as the occasional bellowed "FLOOARGH!!!" I also give the pinkie instead of the middle finger.

A hint if you're trying to make up a new swear: "z" always has a particularly satisfying nastiness...
-- igirl, Mar 07 2003


Zinger? Pizzazz? Zebra? Not so sure about that.
-- DrCurry, Mar 07 2003


try "Zaznitch!" actually very fun to say.
-- igirl, Mar 08 2003


What do you guys think are the best sounds for swear words?
-- adriayna, Apr 04 2003


I've discovered that just sighing at someone who's being an idiot and muttering, "You godless troutmonkey" works wonders.
-- Tabbyclaw, Apr 08 2003


"May babboons bathe in your blighted blood!"
-- igirl, Apr 08 2003


my roommates and i use "poop" as a term of frustration. as in, after dropping an egg on the kitchen table, "oh POOP!"

not really new, but much more fun than saying "oh shit."
-- urbanmatador, Apr 09 2003


Chutt off, pea-flickers. Strangely, the harshest Spanish swear words tend to have religious connotations (e.g: "The host!"), whereas sexual ones ("joder"-fuck, "coño"- cunt) are sprinkled liberally on daytime TV. Speaking of which, it won't take long for religious zealots to ban new words, but it'd be fun to watch them trying to keep up. I must second Roger's Profanisaurus mentioned above on the Viz link, as a prime example of profane imagination. Check it out.
-- git, Apr 26 2003


*is in the process of changing the color of his bloomers from reading these new under the radar words of choice. I will return with new knickers.... Bleahck! Read Bloom County by Berke Breathed
-- I2RI, Apr 26 2003


pukimak
-- melayu-giler, Apr 27 2003


from a young relative: "squishy-squishy-pung-pung!"
japanese can be satisfying. so can utterly weird words.
a fad in swearing at my school is "[name of animal here]fucker!"....this can lead to some interesting phrases.
-- igirl, Apr 27 2003


tanj, beep, frill. sci-fi has the answers.
-- johnmeacham, Apr 27 2003


Rats' cocks.

You made a right Gareth of that, didn't you?

Btw, there's a guy buried in Pere la Chaise (sp?) called John le Fucker. Died in the 1300s if I remember rightly.

Veekser. Shvooler. Belbracker.
-- saker, Apr 30 2003


"Pheasant plucker" is a contrepet. Several Romance tonguetwisters are contrepets on the word "collion" (couille, coglione, etc.), such as "l'abeille coule" and "cogliendo foglione".
-- phma, Jun 07 2003


My favorite comes from Wendy Pini's Elfquest, out of the mouth of a character called Skywise:

Puckernuts!!!

(In Pini's 'world', a puckernut is a type of bush-grown berry that has intoxicating effects.)
-- Trillian, Jun 07 2003


I like "Slutrag!" myself. I use it every time Iaccidently hurt myself at work.

Other words that are used by my fellow employees are: "SIMMER!" (telling someone to chill out) "Buttcheese" and "Fuckstick!" "You're Shot!" means "You're fucked up!"

Don't forget "bumping uglies" to reference some sort of having sex.
-- Teydrian, Jun 07 2003


"Tingaling" can mean absolutely anything.
"Tingaling!" (happy)
"You tingaling!" (mad)
"...and then his, uh, tingaling..."

just keep going, it works in everything.
-- igirl, Jun 07 2003


Having kids close at hand while smashing my thumb with a hammer has prompted such gems as:
-Son of a Mother!
-For farts sake!
-Cheese and rice!
And, I'm not ashamed to admit.
-Fork me gently with a wire brush.
-- 2 fries shy of a happy meal, Jun 08 2003


"For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge" is apparently wrong according to {joep5472}, but that's what I always heard.
Anything in Spanish or Italian, whether it makes sense or not is great. I also think that the names of people you don't like used as explicatives are particularly powerful.
Hijo de Vaca! is my favorite- I swear I heard someone say this once.
-- Zimmy, Jun 09 2003


OK, I've been trying to think of this analytically.

Let's take your basic, run-of-the-mill, seven words you can't say on TV (c/o George Carlin)

Shit, Piss, Fuck, Cunt, CockSucker, MotherFucker, Tits

For the hell of it, let's throw in Prick, Dick, Pussy, and Twat.

Now, conceivably, it's not what they describe, but the sounds themselves that are so offensive (or, they're supposed to be), because you can replace most of them with a less offensive word (with the notable exceptions of cocksucker and motherfucker; I don't know what you'd replace those with)

So, if we can find common threads in these sounds, we could construct a new word, which may or may not actually mean anything, but will nonetheless sound quite offensive.

So, first off, vowel sounds. Remarkably enough, there are two main vowel sounds in all of those words; "ih" and "uh". If we're going for all-out offensiveness, then we should go for an "uh" sound (fuck, cunt, etc). For a slightly less offensive word, "ih"(shit, piss, etc.).

Second, consonants. The "k" and "t" sounds make for good impact points, while "f", "s", and "sh" allow the word to drag out for a while.

Third, length. This is key; a long word gives itself its own little lead-in, accentuating the drama of the word. Take "motherfucker"; note how the "mother" transitions smoothly into "fucker". On the other hand, a short word gets its point across quickly, ideally suited for sudden surprises, i.e. you hit your thumb with a hammer, you scald yourself with coffee, etc.

So, from these basic building blocks, you too can form your own, new swear words for fun and profit! Pass 'em around! Mix and Match with other sounds! Express yourself! Enjoy!

And Schlick off, you titzing cruckfutchers!
-- tracer, Jun 09 2003


"Galaragga" works well for me.
-- goober, Jun 09 2003


I prefer a retro approach to a more colorful and innocent age, meaning the old Superfriends: "By Neptune's beard!" But you can always use Lobo's "Frak" or "Frakking" for a darker comic book appeal.
-- babyloon, Jun 09 2003


I don't know why, but I keep using "dickshit".

It seems kind of ordinary, but if you actually think about what it's supposed to describe, it seems much, much worse.
-- tracer, Jun 12 2003


One of the things I love about the English language is the versatility of our swear words. Take the word "fuck" for example. It can be used as a verb (to fuck - meaning to have sex, to take advantage of or to mess something up), an adjective (a fucking idiot), a noun (to have a fuck), not to mention as an interjection (fuck!) an imperative (fuck off) and an intensive (what the fuck did you say?). The permutations and combinations are almost endless.

That said, my favourite word is "bollocks" though I am also a fan of the French "putain" meaning "whore". Shakespearean insults can also be very useful though you run the risk of being thought a jumped up arse.
-- hazel, Jun 12 2003


[tracer] - I wish I could find this quote because it's all in the delivery, but... the comics critic R. Fiore, generally known as an urbane and acerbic stylist, told of how he once wrote an article in which he disparaged someone as a "shitkicker." He then decided this was too harsh and asked the editor to change the word to "cracker." (Note for non-US'ers: both are extremely insulting terms for an ignorant rural white person.) Of course something went wrong and what they printed was "shitcracker"... a concept which Fiore says he's still trying to scour from his mind.
-- hob, Jul 01 2003


My regular swear when my kids are around - not that it will help them refrain from cursing, but it's techincally not a curse, is "futher-mucking plick!" the first part is something my friends and I said all the time when we were younger to avoid getting in trouble from our parents - the "plick" is from the movie "Lethal Weapon 4" which kicks my ass every time I see it. I also curse in Italian quite often around the kids - which is probably better, since they'd probably never be able to pronounce it correctly. *laf*
-- m0ppy, Jul 07 2003


I picked up a good phrase from some Scots on holiday a while back:

"Ya fookin' numpty"

Captain Haddock from Tintin is also good, e.g. "Billions of billious blue blistering barnacles"

Compounds of well known profanities can provide amusement, like 'cuntnugget' or 'fucknut'
-- muttley, Sep 12 2003


I thought I had made this up, but I found quite a few matches when I googled it.

Shitwit.

Short, sweet, to the point.
-- tracer, Nov 18 2003


I started saying "Well tie me to a Christian and call me Betty Sue!" after the "Tie me to a Christian" idea.
-- Eugene, Nov 18 2003


Whew! A popular thread... Although I remained pretty much in the swearing=intellectual laziness camp for some decades, that was wiped out when I went to work with a Mick. And less you think that saying, "fekkin' gobshite", is okay in polite circs, no, it's not, it's just that many of my forebears are a rude and vulgar lot. The Brits sometimes hide their rude words in rhyme, ie "That fellow's a right berk he is" which means "cunt", Why? Because this berk (or burk?) stands for Berkley Hunt, which rhymes with... Etc. There are zillions of these. Swearing in code. As for the Chinese, yes, the tsao is indeed a bad word, and only a very angry person will let fly with tsao knee mah, which translates very closely to "fuck your mother." However the worst curse in Chinese seems to be to call someone a... turtle egg. That's wahng bah dahn. A newspaper in HK folded after they ran a headline calling Li Peng a Wang Ba Dan (proper pinyin there). As for old Fuck itself, I don't know if it goes all the way back to IE, but it was certainly put to good use by the Romans-- find a bilingual or translated version of *anything* Catullus wrote-- see http://duke.usask.ca/~porterj/CourseNotes/CatullusNotes.html Myself, I remember that Harry Harrison had some good new swear words in his Stainless Steel Rat books, but I am overseas at the moment and can't look them up. Perhaps someone with a library or better internet connection closer at hand than I could fill in... Cheers, you doorknobs! {~)
-- hulot, Nov 19 2003


[Hazel] My fella recalls fondly one of his moments of revelation when learning to speak English. He was in Canada working on a building site and his boss told him that one of the machines was broken. His exact words were " The fuckin' fucker's fuckin' fucked." Beautiful.

My personal favourite at the mo is a Bavarian one . Kruzifix! pronounced kroootseefeex with the emphasis on the fix. Or even just FIX!

The BBC spawned other curses in the 70's comedy series Porrige. It was set in a prison and the writers wanted the characters to be able to swear on prime-time tv so they invented "Naff off" and "Scrote" which since then have been adopted by many brits.
-- squeak, Nov 19 2003


I find I can get away with expressing my annoyance with a curt "Flaps!". In the back of my mind I have a nasty suspicion it relates to "Piss flaps" which are almost certainly a derogatory term for "beef curtains".
-- dobtabulous, Nov 19 2003


My personal favorite is douche bag, though I do like the way dumbass rolls off of your tongue. Cocksmooch, now that goes way back.
-- Hot_Carl, Jan 14 2004


Orson Scott Card the author of Ender's Game and many other wonderful books made up swear words in his books. Though they sound alot like words today. They use words such as "farteater" well farteater is a word they use alot I cant seem to remember anymore at the moment. Check out the books if you would like to find some more.
-- Loti, Jan 28 2004


I find that when driving that most bad drivers have become desensitized to the run-of-the-mill swear words. I find that calling them the correct medical name for body parts seems to catch their attention:
"What the heck are you doing, you spleen?!"
"Do you seriously have your vas deferens stuffed in your brain?"
"Foreskin!"
"Get your cerebellum out of your lower colon!"

I usually get a pretty good head-snap with those.

I've always been partial to "euglena" as a name to call stupid people.
-- Klaatu, Jan 29 2004


I like the use of "euglena." (WTAGIPBAN)
-- krelnik, Jan 29 2004


"I couldn't give a flying fuck at a rolling doughnut." - Kurt Vonnegut

Well, fuck me sideways with snowshoes, you arsebucket.
-- saker, Jan 29 2004


why dont they make "antidisestablishmentarianism" into a bad word?
-- mark93, Feb 23 2004


An old irish swear word is 'gonch'. i don't know what it means...!

if worst comes to worse you could say 'i hope his pig dies!'
-- Deadlock'd, Feb 23 2004


Here are a few we like around our house:

"Fugly" = f****** ugly "Cheese & Rice" = Jesus Christ "Be A" = Bitch "Renob" = Boner (as in Don't be such a Renob!)
-- LaLuna, May 06 2004


Wow, a new low. Hard to believe. "Let's make new ways to curse!" I think that happens already (think of all the ways you can say F**K without REALLY saying it - hey, I just did...pretty pathetic).

I think that ADULTS and people with normal IQs can think of ways to express themselves without swearing.

No thanks.
-- bspollard, May 24 2004


Whores and homos; it's simply all about whores and homos.
-- dpsyplc, May 24 2004


re Gonch... in Jackass:The Movie, they define it as: that bit of skin between your asshole and your ball bag. Then they apply electric shocks to it. Ouch.
-- spacemoggy, May 24 2004


hey heres a real one for you folks... skeet, although its often used multiple times and supposedly its slang for the sounds it makes when a man ejaculates. And the best part is that its all over the radio and television and is never bleeped.
-- PollyNo9, May 24 2004


They all sound like KLINGON to me.
-- macncheesy, May 24 2004


I recently go t a book called "The Big Book of Being Rude" featuring over 7,000 curse words from all eras and regions. It's amazing, it changed my life. My favorite: Rump-splitter (Edwardian ladies man)
-- igirl, May 24 2004


For new swear words, I'm a bit partial to "Tanj", because it actually means something: it's an acronym for "there ain't no justice".
-- 5th Earth, May 25 2004


The lowest insult I can think of is You are a "stain on humanity", or "soh".

I like Joe Pesci's "Raga-fragi... " from "Home Alone, and McCauley Caulkin's "Trout Sniffer". Sharon Stone's "Fudge you!" in "Casino" as edited on the USA Network was hilarious. I also like "Snark", which is defined as one who smells little girl's bicycle seats.
-- bobad, May 25 2004


I have started using the curse "Bushit" when refering to the ramblings of an empty headed fratboy.
-- Mr Piddlesworth, Jul 27 2004


//re Gonch... in Jackass:The Movie, they define it as: that bit of skin between your asshole and your ball bag. Then they apply electric shocks to it. Ouch//

Personally, I use barse (bit between the balls and arse)
-- ChewTheBeef, Jul 28 2004


Having watched the Disney movie Lilo and Stitch, experiment 626 introduces an interesting multi purpose word when threatening a frog on a highway..shesee, this has become a standard phrase when expressing anger. In fact it has rubbed off on many around me. Who knew Disney would supply me with a new curse.
-- babaQ, Jul 29 2004


Personally, I think we should just farm out all creation of new ways to curse to residents of the British Isles. It wasn't an American who came up with "cunt-fuckering shitpastry" or "spunk-guzzling minge-lobster". The sheer poetry of such phrases just takes the breath away.

My own personal favorite is "bugger a hedgehog"- also a British creation.
-- katfairy, Oct 29 2004


I actually tried this a couple of times in college. First, I went with "Spanic," but that sounded like I was trying to invent a new racial epithet, so I stopped.

Anyway, after several failed attempts, I've settled on "Gobbleflopper!" as my favorite new semiswear. It rolls off of the tongue really easily, and sounds dirty, even though it isn't really.
-- shapu, Oct 29 2004


I once watched a nature program which was about lobster mating rituals. The narrator used the phrase 'eggsperm package' 50+ times. I find it highly offensive now.
-- pooduck, Jan 16 2005


Me and my friends are constantly looking for ways in which to insult each other, the boring swear words of yore (shit,fuck and their ilk) just dont cut it any more. Two favourites among us now are scrunt (one of my friends creations), and fetlock (something to do with horses). The point is valid, we need to become a lot more insulting than we currently are. Scruttocks is also a very useful word -yet another imaginitive name for the bit between scrotum and buttocks.
-- fridge duck, Jan 16 2005


My one (which no one else seems to use) is Horlicks. Apparently, though I have no evidence to back this up, it is the way members of the british parliment say bollocks whilst in westminster (the parliment for USA bakers). It's great, sounds a bit nasty but no one gets really offended.
-- Germanicus, May 30 2005


Barnacles!
-- Zimmy, May 31 2005


You're mistaken.
-- DrCurry, May 31 2005


When, on a whim, I decided to read the bible. I found the insult of "sluggard" somewhere in the book of proverbs.
-- hidden truths, Jun 01 2005


Awww... Shazbot!
-- Laimak, Jun 01 2005


Pa've, I've seen ideas going back to (I think) 1998 by [Jutta]...
-- david_scothern, Jun 24 2005


I'n my circle we pretty much have our own language, including swear words...problem is it doesn't seem to travel further than the group... good thing perhaps
-- shinobi, Jun 24 2005


//I've seen ideas going back to 1998// - older, in fact, than the HB. [jutta] postdated those which preceded the site.
-- Detly, Jun 25 2005


Delve into different languages. Other languages have collectively more swear words that English alone does. Yelling "torasshu" confuses the heck out of the average pedophilic ja-hosh. Plus, you won't get kicked out of any English-speaking only establishment for calling some old kusojiji a fillo de puta. Yeah, I'm very well-versed in other languages. It comes with being a geek.
-- Shadow Phoenix, Oct 22 2007


This is the post that drew me into the hb about two years ago. It was linked from another site, and I, not knowing how to use the hb when I joined, posted my swearing on my profile page. I laughed when I figured it out!
-- xandram, Oct 22 2007


Modern curses took centuries to develop through a slow evolutionary process. I do not believe of bunch of smegs and asshates like you would be able to improve on them. Introducing curses from other mature languages might be a good idea. Insults have kept Yiddish alive all these years.
-- geo8rge, Oct 23 2007


// As for the word "fuck", it is my understanding that it is an acronym dating ...[etc etc.]

Yeah, I've heard that repeated a lot too (among others Zimmy about 2/3rds down this page). But check with any place that has a tradition of debunking rather than repeating urban legends, e.g., Snopes, Cecil Adams, Wikipedia, for fuck's sake - they all call bullshit on the story. I guess the first link on this post tried to debunk Zimmy's claim back then, but the site's since gone away; so I'm adding a new link to Snopes.
-- jutta, Oct 23 2007


The whole point of 'vulgarities' is that they are common usage terms. They are bottom of the barrel verbage, common to everyone and everything.

Originality is the antithesis of vulgarities.

If you scoop the current chunk of vulgarities out of the barrel, another group will slide in and *be just as common*

If you want to be a sophisticated, yet crass person, speak in another language, or wrap your shits in metaphors.
-- mylodon, Oct 23 2007


Cunt makes a good expletive at times of sudden and intense pain. As in "Aaaaggghhhh" and "Nnnnnnn" often said through clenched teeth and "ttttt" followed by a large intake of breath. Favourite curse directed at something is to call it an "Arse wipe"
-- Iridium7, Oct 23 2007


mother-of-pearl
son of a monkey
son of a biscuit
cheese and crackers
piece of cheese
I'm an expert at fakes.
-- k_sra, Oct 23 2007


Baked. Black people have been doing this for years. I'm not racist, I'm stereotyping here. Black rappers made up the word "skeet", meaning to without warning, ejaculate on a womens face, followed by some good natured-fresh hammer action.
-- evilpenguin, Oct 23 2007


forsake that! sounds like pure unadulterated bush!
-- afinehowdoyoudo, Oct 25 2007


The use of "for" is not the only reason for debunking this (you yourself mention others; my favorite being that the abbreviation theory is unrecorded before 1960), and the variant you quote isn't the only one addressed by the snopes entry; others listed are "Fornication under Consent of the King", "Fornication Under Charles the King", "Forbidden Under Charter of the King", "Forced Unlawful Carnal Knowledge" and "File Under Carnal Knowledge". (The Wikipedia entry extends this further.)

But you're right to observe that your particular remix isn't explicitly listed - it was so close to other stuff people have made up that I figured you might identify it as an, albeit unusual, variation of its theme.

For a picture of a sign to be reinterpreted or pronounced differently, there would have to be a historically sourced picture of a sign with someone in stocks or pillories or the like and "FUCK" written under them in large, friendly letters. I know of no such picture.
-- jutta, Oct 25 2007


A lot of people I know use German insults a lot. The gutteral sound of German cursing seems to create a somewhat hostile mood.
-- apocalyps956, Oct 26 2007


"Fuck" is almost certainly connected to "ficken" in German and "focken" in Dutch, i would have thought.
-- nineteenthly, Oct 28 2007


We used to get a kick out of a character on "Magnum PI" who called people "iceholes" etc. etc.
-- FlyingToaster, Jan 07 2009


"Blarmy!" 's been working for me lately. Goes great with a pirate accent. Means, like, 'bother' or 'bothersome'
-- afinehowdoyoudo, Jan 07 2009


//Dan Rather, Rhenquist//

I was surprised no one had mentioned NPR announcer names (unless I missed it), which are pretty mellifluous: Sylvia Poggioli, Lakshmi Singh, and Renee Montagne all come to mind. The sound of the name Barack Obama is pretty powerful too.
-- JesusHChrist, Jun 02 2013


OMG- this is the post that brought me to the hb!! There was a link on another site and I joined instantly and posted my *curse words* in my profile!! haha (son of a 'baker)
-- xandram, Jun 03 2013


<linky>
-- DrBob, Jun 03 2013



random, halfbakery