This business would hire Nobel prize winners on a bid-award basis to make whatever claim is desired, limited exclusively to single-context claims. Higher bids can be used to obtain less probable claims, broader contexts, relevancy to the field the prize was awarded in and, if the bids are high enough, actual papers.
-- Voice, Jul 22 2019

Methods and materials for embalming jaundiced bodies https://patents.goo...atent/US2576219A/en
[Voice, Jul 31 2019]

We would like to hire Professor Schrödinger to endorse our range of cat welfare products.
-- 8th of 7, Jul 24 2019


Isn't this what they've always done?

"Nine out of ten dentists and doctors,
<cough> we hired <cough>
agree that Marlboro cigarettes are the number one choice for expectant mothers. Helps keep that trim figure... and lowers birth-weight! It's win-win!"

That whole doctor recommended lower birth-weight cigarette thing was part an actual ad once. I shit you not.
-- 2 fries shy of a happy meal, Jul 24 2019


Hey, try squeezing a human out of your arse and then tell me how you feel about lower birth-weight.
-- MaxwellBuchanan, Jul 24 2019


We consider that on this occasion, your choice of phraseology could best be characterised as "non-optimal" ...
-- 8th of 7, Jul 24 2019


Good idea, if you extend this to Linus Pauling’s claims about vitamin C curing the common cold
-- hippo, Jul 25 2019


I used to megadose Vitamin C as a teenager. I felt great most of the time then, but I can't entirely attribute that to the vitamin C.
-- sninctown, Jul 27 2019


You never hear oranges sneeze.
-- MaxwellBuchanan, Jul 27 2019


//juice is worse than regular coke//

It certainly is not. Juice has some necessary nutrients and a little fiber. It also doesn't have any embalming fluid in it.
-- Voice, Jul 31 2019


We are informed by an unimpeachable* authority (The somellier at Chateau Buchanan) that a beverage which contains less than 10% of each of at least two different industrial petroleum derivatives is lacking in character, individuality, and something else that we didn't catch because at that point the alarm on his dialysis machine went off.

*Without the required majority in both the Senate and the House.
-- 8th of 7, Jul 31 2019


Sp. "sommelier"

... then again, maybe "smellier".
-- pertinax, Sep 06 2019



random, halfbakery