Culture: Art: Theatre: Street Theatre
Olympic Torch Cooking Attachments   (+15)  [vote for, against]
Cooking without gas.

The oylmpic flame is currently being put to good philosophical use, as it is paraded through the streets of the United Kingdom spreading love and peace and whatnot.

However, the energy from the flame itself is being completely wasted, which strikes me as being contrary to the ideals of an Olympiad which has promised much in terms of sustainability and legacy.

No need for Lord Coe to panic though: the Olympic Torch Cooking Attachments are here. It's a wire mesh frame which fits over the top of the torch, attached securely using the pre-drilled holes in the torch itself.

For most normal people a five minute run or jog with the flame could be used toasting marshmallows so that on completion of the run friends and family could join you for an impromptu celebration. The same aparatus could be used for BBQing cocktail sausages.

For the people of Ottery-St-Mary, the element of danger provided by a fondue of burning hot oil might be more appropriate.

For any of our community lucky enough to be chosen to run with the torch, a small tin containing raw dough might be the best attachment. After five minutes of running with the flame, it should just about be halfbaked.
-- Fishrat, Jun 09 2012

Ottery St Mary
Burning Barrels of Tar [Fishrat, Jun 09 2012]

Torch relay Live
Watch the wasted flame [Fishrat, Jun 09 2012]

For [MaxwellBuchanan]
Succinct explanation of the meaning of the slang phrase //lol// and its relevance to the subject under discussion. [pocmloc, Jun 11 2012]

Roasted chestnuts for me, please.
-- Phrontistery, Jun 09 2012

This is a stuningly good idea.
-- MaxwellBuchanan, Jun 09 2012

From the first link: "Those who have visited Ottery St Mary on 5 November, still find it difficult to understand what motivates the townspeople into carrying flaming tar barrels through the streets."
-- MaxwellBuchanan, Jun 09 2012

It's the fact that they're being followed by the traditional soldiery, dressed in their ornate and gaily-coloured traditional uniforms, and brandishing the traditional razor-sharp pikes, halberds, glaives and partisans with traditional determination, skill, and above all ruthless brutality that do the trick.
-- 8th of 7, Jun 09 2012

Every 4 years I live in hope of seeing someone stop and light a few farts with the olympic torch.
-- UnaBubba, Jun 09 2012

Or of it being used to burn out hornet and wasp nests and to ignite pigeons, seagulls and chihuahuas.
-- UnaBubba, Jun 09 2012

In terms of quaint English colloquialisms, I think all of [Bub]'s suggestions are covered under 'whatnot'.
-- Fishrat, Jun 09 2012

Brilliant! I give it two buns up! [+] [+]
-- Grogster, Jun 09 2012

Sorry, [Fishrat], but I must beg to differ.

A whatnot is a piece of furniture that was very popular during the 19th century. It was designed to hold and display knick-knacks and curios, and comprised of four or five shelves supported on slender uprights.
-- UnaBubba, Jun 09 2012

I read today that the clapping and cheering of the Olympic Torch was the locals celebrating the fact that a little bit of heat was finally being brought into the country - so the energy of the flame isn't being completely wasted at all.
-- AusCan531, Jun 10 2012

Entropy is like that, [AusCan], but the heat soon dissipates.
-- UnaBubba, Jun 10 2012

Great idea - just needs a clockwork rotisserie attachment
-- hippo, Jun 10 2012

I think the next one should drive itself the last leg with a sterling engine.
-- RayfordSteele, Jun 10 2012

Bravo, fishy. +
-- blissmiss, Jun 10 2012

lol, you've solved such an important problem here
-- EdwinBakery, Jun 11 2012

//lol, you've solved such an important problem here//

Doesn't the HB have a spot-fine policy for the use of lol?
-- MaxwellBuchanan, Jun 11 2012

I thank [pocmloc] for the moment of inlightenment.
-- MaxwellBuchanan, Jun 11 2012

Wow, that's a serious vacuum bite she has going on.
-- UnaBubba, Jun 11 2012

I'll be honest, if the flame doesn't end up being carried by the Tenth Doctor I don't even know why I'm bothering.
-- Hive_Mind, Jun 12 2012

random, halfbakery