Men involved in the sport of diving off of a board sometimes encounter the problem of "package smackage" when diving into the water, especially during back and reverse head-first entries. A small piece of sponge or neoprene like material inserted in the front of the bathing suit would dissipate the impact of the water and reduce the pain.
-- dangerousdan, Feb 06 2002

Darwin Awards http://www.darwinawards.com
As if you didn't know... [shonmao, Oct 04 2004]

Maybe strap on a metal shield shaped somewhat like the prow of a boat? It could even have a name on it, like "HMS Package"
-- bristolz, Feb 06 2002


Excuses, Excuses, Excuses. HMS Penis Envy seems more appropriate.
-- thumbwax, Feb 06 2002


"package smackage". Classic.
-- salachair, Feb 06 2002


Wouldn't the larger package create more drag, interfering with the smoothness of your passage through the water? I already have this problem.
-- pottedstu, Feb 06 2002


It could act as a good counter balance to aid in better executed diving though. Or at least, thats what I notice.
-- mcscotland, Feb 06 2002


You could just stick a cricket 'box' down there.
-- goff, Feb 06 2002


blissmiss's next invention is an instrument to measure the splash size, possibly involving a series of cats placed in differing proximity to the pool.
-- pottedstu, Feb 06 2002


For diving? Just learn to do it right. Now water polo, I could see where that might be useful. Problem is that most forms of padding are going to absorb water and create drag, and aren't going to be that effective anyway.
-- bookworm, Feb 06 2002


//I already have this problem//
Yeah, dragging an anchor around not only slows me down, it's painful.
-- thumbwax, Feb 06 2002


(Having 'Modern Problems' flashback)

I guess - under the auspices of personal protection - I can let this one slide. I'd be surprised if padded swimsuits didn't exist, though. And this idea is likely to start an escalation of padding at the local pool.
-- phoenix, Feb 06 2002


padding?
-- po, Feb 06 2002


Yes, padding.
-- snarfyguy, Feb 07 2002


I was guessing genital warts.
-- phoenix, Feb 07 2002


<giggles at UnaBubba's description of faux norks...>

Croissanted for 'package smackage'...
-- StarChaser, Feb 08 2002


// Excuses, Excuses, Excuses. HMS Penis Envy seems more appropriate //

Um, is this a response to me, or . . . what, exactly, TW?
-- bristolz, Feb 08 2002


The idea itself.
-- thumbwax, Feb 08 2002


k
-- bristolz, Feb 08 2002


THIS IS GREAT IDEA! ive never got a "package smackage" (thats classic) from diving myself but it would make it look bigger... not that i need that thou... nope not at all... *whispers*"sign me up for five from first shipment" =)
-- i-Mer, Feb 09 2002


Given the sheer quantity of situations that can lead to injury of the male reproductive organs, one has to wonder why codpieces ever went out of style.
-- nick_n_uit, Feb 09 2002


The Darwin Awards book has an entire chapter of stories about men who lose the family jewels in moronic ways--yes, I'd say it's a common problem.
-- Galileo, Feb 10 2002


I've been sacked in water polo, hurt like crazy, but thats the game, could be useful. However Package smackage...thats grounds for a croissant
-- swimr, Oct 05 2004


Could we never use the phrase "package smackage" again?

Thanks.
-- shapu, Oct 05 2004


+ just for starting this topic.
-- JoeyJoJoShabadoo, Oct 25 2005


Hmm.. you'd become known as an ostrich- rather than just a budgie- smuggler.

Presumably, for use on the beach: what are you protecting them from, exactly?
-- Dub, Oct 25 2005


Dub: /on the beach: what are you protecting them from exactly?/

package sharkage. Never seen Jaws?
-- rubyminky, Oct 25 2005


I don't see why we haven't got these already. Ladies have them, without much water absorbtion problmes that I can see, and their "packages" don't have quite as much of a problem with smackage... Except when god's gift to women shows up.
-- ye_river_xiv, Jun 28 2006


Might I suggest a supercavitation device - it would "blow" bubbles around your package - reducing drag. The military is experimenting with supercavitating torpedos now - supposedly they can break the sound barrier underwater. Perhaps it could be marketed as the "Speedo Torpedo".
-- trekbody, Jun 28 2006



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