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Computer: Email: Bounce
Pedant Email Bouncing Tool   (+5, -4)  [vote for, against]
Grammatically incorrect email? Tell 'em how!

You receive an email that offends your pedantic sensibilities. The sender has apostrophes all over the place, they're mixing their metaphors, and... *gasp* they've referred to some esoteric poetry as containing iambic pentameter, when you KNOW it's written entirely in trochaic trimeter. Oh, and they're doing something with gerunds that's illegal in six states.

Before your brain explodes in a fit of pedantic rage, you reach out and tap the "Subject this email to the strictures of the pedant filter." button.

The email is then sent to a cabal of "Pedants Anonymous", who debate its structure and content for as long as they deem necessary, before agreeing on a corrected form of the original email. Then, sixty years after the first email was sent, and long after the sender has forgotten that you ever existed, they receive an email: "Your email was rejected on grounds of poor spelling, grammar, and knowledge of the metres of poetry. You may have meant..."

And you can die happy.

(With all apologies to [Texticle] and the "Incomprehensible Email Bouncing Tool")
-- m_Al_com, May 21 2006

My inspiration. Thanks to [texticle]. Incomprehensible_20...l_20Bouncing_20Tool
[m_Al_com, May 21 2006]

... translators who turn X into something more palatable ... http://www.halfbake.../help.html#advocacy
Hm. Shouldn't that be translators *that* turn X into something more palatable? [jutta, May 21 2006]

-- po, May 21 2006

Shame, I was all ready to bun a filter or system which allowed you to simply bounce the email back with a pedant notice, without the long wait.
-- Germanicus, May 21 2006

\\Shouldn't that be translators *that* turn X into something more palatable? \\ That depends. If yours is like my Arnold (he speaks English, Russian and Icelandic) then no, it shouldn't.
-- hidden truths, May 21 2006

Apology accepted. By the way, it's a capital T, being a proper noun and all.
-- Texticle, May 21 2006

Sorry, [Texticle]. Fixed. I tried so hard to make it pedant-proof, as well! Oh, and [Germanicus], the sixty-year wait is but a dismayed acceptance of the fact that, well, with a cabal of hyper-pedants arguing over every detail of the original, it's just going to take that long.
-- m_Al_com, May 22 2006

Oh, cripes, that was a gut shot.
-- m_Al_com, May 25 2006

And it didn't take him sixty years!
-- methinksnot, May 26 2006

I think it-d be MORE FUN to turn reasonable text, in-to a pendants's nightmare; full of teeth grinding mis-takes!!!
-- Ling, May 27 2006

sp. mistake's
-- methinksnot, May 28 2006

Might be a nice spam filter, too.
-- RayfordSteele, May 28 2006

It is, in a way. A large subset of my spam is written using SMS conventions, and none of my real email is. For the next generation of kids with friends who *do* send them "ru there" style emails, it must be a lot tougher to filter!
-- jutta, May 28 2006

i Like macing mysaks sumtims. et giv the sant'c falver.
-- Voice, Jul 30 2008

random, halfbakery